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The Generosity of Love

May 18, 2011, by

Love is an ancient and tricky phenomenon that elicits a wide variety of analyses: It’s powerful! It’s an illusion! It’s just lust! There’s no such thing as real love! Love is the only truth in the world! Okay, so what’s the real story? In his book, Zachoo, Rabbi Nachum Diamant writes about a man who

Love is in the Air

April 13, 2011, by

Passover must be celebrated in the springtime, when nature is in bloom, and love is in the air. It is no coincidence that on Pesach it is customary to read the love song, Shir HaShirim written by King Solomon, describing a man and a woman in an elusive courtship leading to affection and intimacy. Shir

Why THAT Person and Not Me?

March 2, 2011, by

As a matchmaker and dating coach, I hear the same questions practically every day. From women: “How did a girl like that get a guy like him?” “Ziva! I know her. She’s so self-centered. What does he see in her?” And from men: “How did he land such a gorgeous, cool girl?” “He’s walking down

Pinchas: Assessing a Potential Spouse

July 9, 2009, by

The gemara tells us that there is a difference between the way men and women evaluate a potential match. “Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav, it is forbidden for a man to betroth a woman until he sees her, lest he should see some discreditable thing and she will lose esteem in his

Cupid’s Arrow: A Letter to My Daughter

February 11, 2009, by

My dearest daughter: Last night we had a problem. Not a horrible problem, not something that was your fault, and yet I know our reaction caught you by surprise. I think you still don’t understand why we thought there was a problem in the first place. So now I owe it to you to sit

Melonie and Rick

September 25, 2008, by

Melonie came to work with me as a Social Worker, and it was like a ray of light lit up our hospital. She was beautiful–5’10’ with strawberry blond hair and large blue eyes. But it was her inner beauty that drew you even more. Although not a religious Jew, Melonie had a strong Jewish identity

Warm Breezes

December 13, 2007, by

The guy before this one had proposed to me, twice, and I was weary of eager boys and their childish plans. But I’d agreed to this date as a favor to a friend. So, I put on my make-up, high heels, fake smile. This wouldn’t take long. The doorbell rang at 7:00. Not 7:02, not