Ask Aviva

Aviva Rizel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. She specializes in couples therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a scientifically sound model that has transformed relationships around the world at rapid pace. To find out more about EFT, check out To reach Aviva, call 347-292-8482 or email

Ask Aviva: Can’t Stand the Heat

November 6, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, I am a wife and mother who dreads Shabbat. It’s shameful for me to say that, but here’s why: I hate to cook. I hate cooking and preparing and serving. I hate the mess, the clean-up, the putting dishes away, only to do it all over again the next day. And of course

Ask Aviva: Man Up!

October 22, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, Why does my husband turn into a big baby whenever he catches a cold? He totally shuts down and it annoys me to no end. It also bothers me because if I’m sick I don’t get the luxury of resting in bed and being taken care of. It’s not fair! —Woman Who Mans

Ask Aviva: Clingy in College

September 17, 2015, by

I am 19 years old and am worried that I have a problem. My best friend just told me that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore because I am too needy and too draining for her. The problem is, I know she’s right. A guy I was dating for six months broke up with me recently

Ask Aviva: Morning Madness

September 3, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, This is going to sound so silly, but it is a real problem for me: I have a very difficult time getting up in the mornings, let alone getting up early! With the new school year approaching, and having to get my kids “up and out,” I fear the morning routine. In previous school years

Ask Aviva: September Blues

August 24, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, My wife and I are dreading that camp is ending. Our 8-year-old daughter did so well in camp with her friends and was so, so happy. She is a drastically different child than when she is in school. Every year she suffers academically, and even though she is so social and popular in

Ask Aviva: Hating the Green-Eyed Monster

August 6, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, I have a wonderful dear friend who is amazing in all ways except for just one. But that one is a biggie, as it is one of the Ten Commandments! My friend is a coveter. She covets the things in my home, my car, my style—you name it! At times I find it

Ask Aviva: Dreaming of Nefesh B’Nefesh

July 23, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, I think I am in a really impossible situation… I caught the Aliyah bug but my husband is vehemently against it. He says we have our roots here, and we will have too much financial uncertainty. Plus, he says, the kids are too old and I should have thought of it earlier if

Ask Aviva: Modest Mommy

July 2, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, I live in a neighborhood that is slightly less observant than we are. I like diversity so I am happy where I live. But our daughter is now eight-years-old and while she used to want to copy Mommy and dress very modestly — now she is pushing to dress more like her friends

Ask Aviva: Watching the Climb

June 24, 2015, by

My husband is a really hard worker and set out to reach certain career goals. I encouraged him to do so because I wanted him to feel successful and I also wanted to be able to maintain a certain standard of living for our family. He has since met that goal a long time ago. I was

Ask Aviva: Selfless Summer

June 17, 2015, by

Dear Aviva, I am a teacher in a special education school and look forward to the summer every year. My job takes a lot out of me, but it is also very gratifying. One of the things that get me through the year is anticipating my summer vacation. The problem is that year after year the

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