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October 20, 2010 Op-Ed: There’s no place for bullying in God’s world By Rabbi Steven Burg 9 Comments
This article first appeared October 17 in JTA
I was saddened to hear of the death of Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old college student driven to suicide by bullying over his sexual orientation. While Clementi’s case has grabbed national headlines, it sadly is far from unique. Last September alone, no fewer than six boys in the United States committed suicide as a response to bullying they suffered over their sexual identities. Several of the victims were as young as 13 years old. Bullying is nothing new, but modern technology has caused it to explode in new and dangerous ways. In Clementi’s case, intimate moments were webcast. Other teens are humiliated routinely via social networks. It takes no effort whatsoever to send a tweet, post a video or write on a virtual wall. In the old days, bullies could usually only harass their intended victims live and in person. Nowadays a teen can be abused and publicly denigrated remotely and often anonymously. Such cases are not limited to boys; nor are they limited to situations pertaining to the victims’ sexuality. Three girls are awaiting trial in Massachusetts for their role in harassing a classmate to the point of suicide. Even when situations do not reach the point of suicide as a perceived means of escape, bullying lowers self-esteem and leads to depression and anxiety. It is unacceptable to harass or bully anyone for any reason. It makes no difference what a person’s race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation or country of origin happens to be. A person’s income or social status is immaterial. We are all created in the image of God, and the Torah demands that we extend common courtesy to one another. Our responsibility goes even further in the case of the downtrodden and oppressed, insisting that we guard ourselves very carefully so as not to add to their troubles through our words and actions. (Causing pain to a widow, an orphan or a convert are particularly heinous acts under Torah law.) Rabbi Akiva famously said in Leviticus 19:18 that the primary principle of the Torah is “love your neighbor as yourself.” However, the Sifra (a book of the Midrash) immediately follows that statement with what it considers to be an even more important principle: The sage Ben Azzai cites in Genesis 5:1, “This is the book of the generations of Adam.” The verse means that we all are descended from the same ancestors, Adam and Eve. As important as the verse cited by Rabbi Akiva is, it’s too easy for us to justify hating others because they are not our “neighbor"; that is, they are not like us. Ben Azzai’s verse reminds us that black or white, rich or poor, straight or gay, Jewish, Christian or Muslim, we ultimately are one family -- the family of mankind. Hate and fear of that which is different is not something with which we are born; it is something acquired. (song “You’ve Got to Be Taught,” the beautiful Rodgers and Hammerstein in "South Pacific," sends out that message.) Accordingly, I implore all parents, teachers and other role models to actively encourage an environment of tolerance. This doesn’t mean that we have to agree with every decision that others may make in life. We may disagree with others’ theologies or lifestyles. But disagreement is not a license to abuse others. A child, a teen or an adult who harasses another person, verbally or physically, is automatically in the wrong. At NCSY, we have adopted strict policies against acts of malice and aggression. All of our regions across North America are being instructed to have sessions on bullying. The Midwest Region, based in Chicago, already has announced a bullying program at its Fall Regional in Kansas City next weekend. Unwelcome attention and a hostile environment are unacceptable regardless of the source. We all have the right to live free of intimidation. If we have legitimate differences of opinion with another person regarding religion, politics or other areas in which debate may be valid, that calls for thoughtful discussion and mutual respect. I call upon parents, educators, clergy and all others who work with youth to join us in a zero-tolerance policy for bullying in all its forms, including cyberbullying. Not only will this save young lives from being needlessly thrown away, it will ensure a safer and healthier environment for all our children. (Rabbi Steven Burg is the international director of NCSY, the national Jewish youth program of the Orthodox Union.)
© Orthodox Union - All Rights Reserved. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of the Orthodox Union and its agencies Recent CommentsYasher Koach! Thank you Rabbi Burg and the Orthodox Union for having the courage to tackle this very important issue! Justin posted on 10/21 at 06:08 PM. Super essay. Elliot Pasik posted on 10/21 at 06:11 PM. Thanks ou for this article. Bullying ruins your life. I've lived it. It has ruined a vast portion of my life. Rox posted on 10/22 at 05:37 AM. Bless you, Rabbi Burg, for these excellent words. Shaming a person is like killing him. But not only should we refrain from bullying, we should actively defend the victims of bullies and work to bring them comfort. We should speak out against those who encourage bullies and bullying, wherever and whoever they are. This article of yours is a fine first step, but much more is needed. Thank you. Thomas Beck posted on 10/22 at 07:28 AM. Yasher Koach. It's about time we heard this from an Orthodox rabbi of some prominence. Just one more thing. Bullying usually gets physical. You bully someone whom you perceive as weak. Gay teenagers, like Jewish ones a generation ago, need to learn how to fight back... Zev Stern posted on 10/22 at 07:44 AM. Yes Yasher Koach on this excellent Op-ed! JewsByChoice.org posted on 10/22 at 08:51 AM. Yasher Koach! Excellent. I recall a time when I was going to school when I was bullied about by certain individuals, and I never knew why they were doing it. So, though I'm as straight as most people are, I feel for those who have been bullied and harrassed -- my heart goes out to them all, and I appreciate your courage in bringing this issue to light. Steven Hartholz posted on 10/22 at 11:20 AM. ..."We hear so much about bullying, but bullying is a fact of life and parents, teachers and ANYONE in contact with children have to give them the tools to fight agressive put-down behaviors... we need to do a better job of protecting those susceptible to becoming the subject of bullying. Children who are sensitive, prone to depression or depressive thoughts should be identified and given tools to defeat such behaviors. Just another perspective..." Joanne D. posted on 10/22 at 12:19 PM. How progressive of you Yasher Koach! People's lives have been severely damaged due to bullying. Perhaps we could extend understanding to the Bully expressing the pain and putdowns of their own experience. So both need help and understanding and a community that will be honest enough to let them know the behavior is not acceptable and be able to do something about it. You are a much needed light! Leslie Whalley posted on 11/03 at 05:25 PM. Submit a CommentComments posted on this website are subject to editing for space, language and/or clarity. |
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