Ten Things I Wish I Said Sooner

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Wine Glasses
13 Sep 2017

This story appears on The Layers Project website. Please see the link below to read the whole story.

I will start with this: I am 31 and I just got married. The last 10 years of my life have been wonderful, meaningful, exciting, and… hard.  In a community centered around family and children, it is easy to feel like an outsider. Yom Tov, family events, and milestones of friends can become challenging. Yet, what I found to be most challenging was the response of the community.

Please understand this: I am not bitter, and I never was. I don’t hold any grudges. I loved my single years- they were a time of tremendous growth for me. I had time for myself- for traveling, growing, and forming incredible friendships. I was Vice President of a Shul at age 27. I created programs and initiatives that were important to me. I was able to spend my time productively, expose myself to different types of people and new experiences, and spend much time thinking about the kind of mark I want to leave on this world. But it was still hard. While there are no quick fixes, here are some suggestions for changes our community can make to help those who are not married feel less like outsiders.

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The words of this author reflect his/her own opinions and do not necessarily represent the official position of the Orthodox Union.