Five Diamonds a Day For Parenting

hero image
18 May 2016

Last week I attended a mussar shiur which included Rav Avigdor Miller’s concept of “Five Diamonds Per Day;” five actions we should do every day that will help us be better people, better Jews and improve the quality of our lives.

diamondsartRav Miller’s list includes:

  1. Speak to Hashem for one minute a day: You can tell Hashem about your problems, thank him for your successes, anything you want.
  2. Appreciate one thing a day: Today I appreciate_____________.
  3. Do something for the sake of Hashem: When you eat, think I am eating so that I can be healthy and I can serve Hashem. I am going to sleep, so that I can be well rested and serve Hashem. I am being kind and doing chesed because this is what Hashem wants.
  4. Give a bracha to another Jew: You can do this silently. If you pass by a family you can daven for them that they should be healthy etc.
  5. Tell people how great Hashem is: You can say, I was so tired today, but Hashem gave me koach to do what I needed to do.

We can apply these actions to our parenting:

  1. Speak to Hashem for one minute a day: Talk to Hashem about the problems you are having with your children. Ask him to help you figure it out. We cannot parent without Hashem’s help anyway.
  2. Appreciate one thing a day: Look at each of your children and think of one positive quality, something that you love about them.
  3. Do something for the sake of Hashem: Everything that we do to take care of our children is part of the mitzvah of gidul banim. We can say, “I am changing diapers, feeding my children, taking them to school to fulfill this mitzvah, to serve Hashem.” It elevates parenting to a whole new spiritual level.
  4. Give a bracha to another Jew: Give brachot to your children. Many of us give brachot to our children on Friday night. We can give them brachot everyday, we don’t even need to say it out loud. When they leave the house in the morning, we can think, “Hashem, please keep them safe, help them learn, help them get a long with their friends, etc.”
  5. Tell your children how great Hashem is: I have one friend, who, on Shabbat, asks her children to tell a hashgacha pratit story at their Shabbat table. They must share something that happened to them where they saw Hashem’s hand—such as they saw an old friend by chance, they needed a dvar Torah and they found it in the first sefer they looked, etc. We can do an abbreviated version of this at our dinner table or we can just say in front of our kids, “Hashem was so good to me today. I found a parking spot right in front of the store, I got all the work done that I needed to get done or they had my favorite ice cream flavor at the supermarket…”

The words of this author reflect his/her own opinions and do not necessarily represent the official position of the Orthodox Union.