Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Every one of the statements of confession begins with with the formula, “All chet shechatanu lefonecha.../for the sin I have sinned before You. How does the idea of before You manifest itself with the sin on bli daas, without knowledge? One could reason that not having knowledge would excuse the sin. However, ignorance is no excuse, explain our sages. One should have studied the laws and been able to avoid the sin. Rabbi Yussi Cohen suggests that ignorance becomes the rationalization for not wanting to know, for not studying the laws. It is incumbent upon us, if we do not know the law, to seek out an expert not only one with knowledge, but one whose being is infused with love of halachah to enlighten us, urges us Rabbi Efrem Goldberg. But sometimes we resist asking. We would rather not ask because we suspect the answer may be contrary to what we want. Then we could not claim ignorance.
The Prophet wonders how we can serve gods we did not know. Rabbi Yechezkel Levenstein zt”l suggests that we did not know because we let our hearts rule our minds. Man, comprised of a physical body and an intellectual soul, is meant to use his mind to control his desires. Letting his desires take control is like handing a ten year old the keys to the car, to a child interested in the excitement without the knowledge of safe driving. Our mind rather than our desire must hold the keys to our actions and, just as one must learn the rules of the road and the mechanism of driving, so must study the laws of our sacred Torah.
When Yaakov fought the angel, generally assumed to be the “guardian angel” of Esau, the embodiment of the yetzer horo, Yaakov asks the angel what his name is. Enigmatically, the angel responds, “Why do you ask my name?” Therein actually lies the answer to Yaakov’s question, writes Rav Cohen, citing Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l. The yetzer horo was dissuading Yaakov from asking questions – don’t look for answers, don’t ask questions, just forge ahead without thinking.
Rabbi Yaakov Hillel, interpreting the Ramchal’s Mesillas Yeshorim, pictures us as possibly lower than an animal, for an animal, although ruled by instinct, first puts forth feelers to check for danger. We often charge ahead without thought, as a horse in battle, not judging where he is to turn and where the danger lies. We need to reflect before we act, to align our actions with Hashem’s will. Do we follow every current fad and style without thought, simply because everyone is doing it?
While moving without thinking is dangerous, staying fixed in one place without moving at all can be equally dangerous, cautions Rabbi Eliyahu Roth zt”l. Think of a table on a rug. If it is never moved, it leaves a permanent indentation on the rug. As Rebbetzin Smiles observes, have you checked the cucumbers in your vegetable bin lately, or have they turned to mush? Human beings are meant to move, to grow, but always to check if we are aligned with Hashem’s will. Am I doing things that will help me grow in my relationship with Hashem, in my relationship with others, and with my relationship with myself?
But knowledge is not only about the how of doing mitzvoth. When we try to understand the mitzvoth, albeit we can never know the full reason, we get more enthusiastic about observing the mitzvoth. After all, writes Rabbi Cohen, we are exploring taamei hamitzvoth, both the reason and taste of the mitzvoth. That “taste” becomes an inner motivation.
Lest we think that having arrived at a logical reason for a mitzvah, we understand it fully, Rabbi Bernstein cautions us that, although that reason may be correct, it is undoubtedly not the only reason for the mitzvah. The ultimate reason is that each mitzvah provides spiritual nourishment for our souls much as nutrients, vitamins and minerals, provide physical nourishment to our bodies. They create connection to Hashem and meaning in our lives.
As such, it is not only sins we can commit without knowledge, but mitzvoth themselves can also be done without thinking, simply by rote, out of habit, writes Rabbi Mintzberg zt”l. If we are performing mitzvoth thoughtlessly, through the habit of childhood, or because everyone else is doing it, we are like tinok shenishba, someone captured as a baby with no independent thought process. The challenge is to make mitzvah observance your own, not through spending for elaborate tools for the rituals, the most beautiful kiddush cup, the most expensive lulav and esrog, but through incorporating the spirit of the mitzvah so that Torah becomes a way of life, not just a manual of what to do.
Boruch Hashem, we often have opportunities to go to weddings and britot. Rabbetzin Smiles challenges us to go not for the food or the music, but to connect to the meaning of these rituals. Understanding, at least minimally, what these rituals symbolize adds so much to our connection and enjoyment of the simchah.
Mitzvoth are meant to transform us, to fill life with meaning. They are meant awaken our neshamah, to connect our physical life to our spiritual essence.
It is not enough to observe the mitzvah fully. One must also finish the mitzvah and remove any empty tools, for that, too, is part of the service. This is the lesson Rabbi Eisman zt”l learned from Rabbi Abramsky zt”l about the service of the high priest on Yom Kippur. In the course of the Yom Kippur service, the high priest went in and out of the kadosh kodoshim multiple times, changes his clothes each time. At the end of the service, he changed from his gold clothes to his white clothes, and entered the kadosh kodoshim one final time. The service was completed, but he was permitted to enter, even obligated to enter, to remove the empty incense pans and spoon. As Rabbi Weissblum zt”l says in Heoras Derech, we need to get rid of the emptiness in our lives.
We know that one way to move forward with mindfulness is to take on a new resolution. But Rabbi Weissblum, along with many others, warns us not to take on more than is reasonable in our current state. Small steps lead to big changes. Perhaps adding five minutes of study with a study partner, or focusing on one word of your daily prayers. That one small step will lead to the growth that has blocked us through our mindless mindset.
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