Dear Friends,
I hope this note finds you well and managing these challenging times.
There are only two places I know of where our sages spoke of people looking in the mirror. In one, the Talmud (Nedarim 9a) speaks of the ideal Nazir, a very handsome man whom Shimon Hatzaddik encountered when the man came to the Mikdash to end his period as a Nazir and cut off all his hair. Shimon Hatzaddik – who served as the Kohein Gadol – was surprised that someone would make this radical pledge that would result in him having to destroy his exceptionally beautiful head of hair and inquired as to why he had done that. The man explained with a Talmudic version of the myth of Narcissus. He had been a shepherd of his father’s flocks and had gone to draw water from a wellspring when he caught sight of his reflection in the waters. Seeing his own unusual beauty, he was gripped by a desire to take advantage of those good looks in immoral ways until he grabbed a hold of himself and brought those desires to heel by committing himself to cut off his beautiful head of hair. Shimon Hatzaddik was so taken with this man’s exercise of self-mastery that he kissed him on the head and prayed that there would be many others who would follow his lead.
The other mirror story is told by a Midrash (cited by Rashi Shemot 38:8) regarding the Jewish women in Egypt whose husbands were depressed and demoralized by their bondage and isolation. Knowing this, the wives would bring their husbands food and water to revive their spirits and then pull out their mirrors from their bags and playfully look at themselves together in the mirror, asking their husbands which of the two of them was the fairest of them all. This game helped restore the warmth of their marriage and gave their husbands strength and hope to engage in building their families. These mirrors were brought by the women to Moshe as a donation for the construction of the Mishkan and were accepted by Hashem as the most precious of gifts, as they had helped grow the Jewish people during their hardest times. The mirrors were then fittingly used to construct the copper basin from which the Sotah would drink the waters that would hopefully restore her own marital harmony.
Two stories of mirrors, both of which figure prominently in neighboring sections of our Parsha, the Sotah and the Nazir. In the one case of the Nazir, the mirror served as a tool of vanity and narcissism, as something that represented and produced desires that had to be overcome. In the other, the mirror was not the problem but the solution, a cherished and valued tool to build peace and harmony, representing and producing desires that would build a harmonious and hopeful future for the families of Klal Yisrael.
The clear difference between them is that in the first instance, the man was looking at himself in the mirror. Like any narcissist, he was the sole occupant of his world. In the other, the man and woman were looking in the mirror together such that rather than the mirror promoting their own selfish vanity, it served instead as a tool to expand their definition of the self.
That is something worth reflecting on. These days we may at times feel a bit demoralized by the many challenges and threats that confront Klal Yisrael. Rather than turning inward to ourselves, we can restore our sense of spirit and hope by looking in the collective mirror of Klal Yisrael and seeing the stunning beauty that no threat can erase and that continues to shine brightly within our people.
Have a wonderful Shabbos and may we be blessed with besoros tovos, truly good news.
Moshe Hauer