From hashkafa and minhagim to kiddushes and kibbudim, community members can sometimes get caught up in shul politics, which create division and detract from the true purpose of coming to shul. At a time when Jewish unity feels more important than ever, we spoke with rabbanim from three diverse shuls. Each rabbi offered thoughtful perspectives on how to cultivate greater achdut within our shuls and communities, both individually and collectively.
Rabbi Shaul Robinson has served as the senior rabbi of Lincoln Square Synagogue (LSS) in Manhattan for more than two decades. The Upper West Side shul, whose hashkafic makeup he describes as largely Centrist Orthodox, includes approximately 700 member units spanning a wide range of demographics, with a significant proportion of Baby Boomers in their 60s and 70s.
For the past 40 years, Rabbi Menachem Zupnik has led Congregation Bais Torah U’Tefilah (BTU) in Passaic, New Jersey. With roughly 150 families, he describes the shul’s makeup as largely yeshivish. At the same time, its membership reflects diverse backgrounds and includes a considerable number of baalei teshuva.
Since 2005, Rabbi Efrem Goldberg has served as the senior rabbi of Florida’s Boca Raton Synagogue (BRS). With more than 1,000 member families, BRS encompasses a broad spectrum of hashkafot, from Heimish, Chasidish, Litvish, Yeshivish, Chabad, and Modern Orthodox, to members who drive to shul on Shabbat.
OU: From your experience, what are the most common points of tension in a kehilla today?
Rabbi Robinson: I think tensions occur when there is an impression that people — like the shul leadership or rabbi, for example — are driving the agenda, or listening to one group over another, which poses a significant challenge. It is only natural for people who perceive themselves as losing influence or being underrepresented to be disappointed.
Our shul has remained remarkably peaceful over the years. When we moved into our new building in 2013, many decisions were still open, including sensitive issues like the seating layout and the mechitza — topics that could easily have caused tensions. Some members gravitated toward minyanim outside of our shul that aligned more closely with their preferences. Although I never want anyone to leave our shul over a matter of difference, our community is fortunate to offer a variety of alternative shul options, which act as a “safety valve” to help prevent conflicts from escalating.
Rabbi Goldberg: I think issues arise when people feel coerced to conform. No matter the issue, whether it’s a policy related to alcohol, Hallel on Yom Ha’atzmaut, or certain minhagim, people’s guards go up when they feel forced to comply. But when you allow for diversity, and find commonalities that bind you together, you’re able to overcome and transcend those differences.
OU: When members of a shul have divergent minhagim or worldviews, what communal policies or shared norms help maintain unity without demanding uniformity?
Rabbi Zupnik: I think it’s impossible to maintain unity without a strong central voice articulating the shul’s values and direction. That is one of the Rav’s responsibilities — to lead the ruchniyus aspects of the shul. When people can gather around a central message and direction, there’s an ability to have a balance between individual personalities and the unity of direction.
Rabbi Goldberg: Shabbos morning, there are eight minyanim, all on one campus. We are not uniform, but united by one sense of kehilla and one sense of purpose. I think we have to look for those opportunities, whether via community-wide celebrations, or unfortunately, tragedies and losses, where everyone comes together. These past three years, our communities, certainly rallied around our Israel soldiers, reciting Tehillim, tying tzitzis, and going on missions. People participated in those unifying initiatives regardless of their backgrounds, and it’s critically important to find similar opportunities to come together, while simultaneously respecting people and enabling them to observe their own minhagim.
Rabbi Robinson: The best case scenario is a kind of pleasant equilibrium, where people are always able to move from one shul to another according to their needs at any one time. The most critical thing is for the shul leadership to be transparent regarding any necessary policy or changes that affect the kehilla.
OU: Beyond policies and structures, how can individual members actively cultivate ahavat chinam and a sense of shared responsibility that binds the kehilla together?
Rabbi Goldberg: It’s up to every individual to reach across the aisle, so to speak, and make an effort to connect with people who are different from them. Our tendency is to gravitate to people just like us — who wear the same yarmulke, daven the same nusach, or send their kids to the same school as ours. Yet it’s critical to foster friendships that span differences, not only hashkafically or halachically, but also in age. In our community, we’re very proud that friendships span various demographics.
Rabbi Zupnik: From my perspective, the role of a shul is to create a community in which we grow closer to Torah and shmiras hamitzvos, while having a meaningful davening experience. As a kehilla, our goal is to get Klal Yisrael closer to the Ribono Shel Olam. When people on both sides of the spectrum are genuinely interested in strengthening their Yiddishkeit, and view the shul as the environment in which to do so and raise their children – when that’s the common denominator — all the differences fade away. We haven’t had a significant problem with tensions in our shul over the years because this has been our primary focus.