Practical tips from Living Smarter Jewish Financial Coach Stacey Zrihen
In an Instagram reel that perfectly captures life imitating art, comedian Mendel Richter of Reggie_TorahShorts plays a student recounting his post-vacation activities to the class. Before him, a child proudly shares, “We traveled to Zimbabwe and ate in the sukkah with lions. It was so cool.” Then it is Mendel’s turn: “We traveled downstairs, and I made eggs. We didn’t really do anything.”
While clearly exaggerated for comedic effect, the skit strikes a nerve. With most Jewish day schools and yeshivas marking winter break in mid to late January, many families are feeling the pressure as friends, relatives, and neighbors plan exotic getaways to luxury destinations, while they simply do not have the financial means to do the same.
Certified Financial Planner Stacey Zrihen sees this tension firsthand. Zrihen is the senior director of Coaching at Living Smarter Jewish, a project of the Orthodox Union dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and families achieve financial freedom. At a time when the costs associated with a frum lifestyle can feel both prohibitive and overwhelming, LSJ aims to inspire financial literacy and provide practical tools to help families make thoughtful, responsible financial choices.
According to Zrihen, disparities in lifestyle are especially pronounced in American frum communities.
“Most communities tend to be economically homogeneous,” she explains. “But in almost every frum community, especially in the United States, there is an enormous range of earning brackets. We have created this magnificent, diverse economic community where everyone lives, learns, and davens together. That is beautiful, but it also makes spending decisions challenging. Some people are able to do more, others less, yet everyone sees what their neighbors are doing, and that is not necessarily a reliable indicator of what they can afford.”
Ahead of yeshiva break, Zrihen shares her top five tips for creating a fun, meaningful staycation that doesn’t feel depriving and stays within budget.
- Avoid comparisons with friends and neighbors.
Be confident in where you stand financially and what you are able to afford. If you feel “less than” because you cannot go to Mexico, you will transmit that message to your children, and no matter what you plan, it will feel second rate. Conversely, if you feel good about staying home, spending time together, and doing meaningful activities, your children will feel the same way.
- It’s all in the presentation.
Present your yeshiva break plans with a big smile. Your excitement will be infectious. Instead of saying, “We can’t go skiing” or “We can’t go to Israel,” try, “You should be proud of us. We are doing what works for our family, and we are going to have an amazing time doing it.”
- Plan well in advance and involve the kids.
Don’t wait until vacation begins to plan your agenda. If you are staying home, your biggest focus should be making sure your children feel a change in routine. In the weeks leading up to yeshiva break, involve them in the planning process.
It’s important to have a written budget year-round, and especially to set aside a budget for that week. Share the vacation budget with your children, along with the cost of activities, so they gain a better understanding of how far a dollar goes. Consider letting each child plan a different day. One child may love skating, while another prefers bowling.
Get creative. Low-cost options include designing your own board game, a scavenger hunt, Cupcake Wars, cooking dinner as a family, or a game night by the fire. Search online or use AI for ideas. When everyone has a say, it builds anticipation and excitement for the days they helped plan.
- Balance structure with free time.
Remember that yeshiva break is vacation. Accept that it is not a regular week. There is no homework and no need to wake up early. Along with planned activities, it is perfectly fine to have downtime with no agenda. Your kids may be on their phones, computers, or watching TV and movies more than usual. Do things you enjoy as a family, and give everyone permission to relax a bit.
- Invite older kids to use their own funds.
When many of their friends are traveling, staying home can be especially hard for older children. If they earn their own money, consider allowing them to use it for an approved trip or activity. Be clear well in advance. You might say, “We are being careful and responsible this year, but if there is something your friends are doing and you want to join, you are welcome to use your own funds.” Interestingly, when it is their own money, teens often think twice about how they spend it.
For more Living Smarter Jewish resources, visit livingsmarterjewish.org. To be matched with a financial coach or to create a written budget free of charge, click “Coaching options.”