Dear Friends,
I hope this note finds you well during these difficult times.
We are in the season of teshuva, a time when we typically pursue forgiveness, but it is no less important that we offer it. Every night before going to sleep, as part of the bedtime reading of shema, it is customary to offer forgiveness to others before asking for it for ourselves, and to pray that no person be penalized for offending us, v’lo yei’aneish shum adam b’sibati.
“Master of the Universe: Behold I forgive & pardon anyone who has angered me or antagonized me, or who has sinned against me, whether in relation to my body, or my money, or my honor, or anything that pertains to me; whether done compulsively or willingly; whether accidentally or deliberately; whether through words or through actions… and may no person be punished because of me.”
Perhaps when we do this we are fulfilling the deeper meaning of what at first glance appears to be a rather technical mitzvah. We are commanded to safeguard any finding of tzara’at (leprosy) and to follow all the associated instructions given by the Kohanim (Devarim 24:8). As the Kohein is the one charged with making the technical determination of the plague’s ritual impurity, this mitzvah is understood as prohibiting tampering with or removing the lesion, mandating consultation with the Kohein as to its status, and then following his halachic determination and instructions.
Note however that the very next verse commands us to remember what G-d did to Miriam as we journeyed from Egypt. Miriam had been stricken with tzara’at for speaking negatively about how Moshe conducted himself. During that story (Bamidbar 12:11-12), we learn of a different kind of instruction from the Kohein. Aaron spoke, but there is no record there of his ritual declarations or instructions to Miriam. Instead, we are told about what Aaron said to Moshe, the victim of Miriam’s verbal attack: “My master, please do not impose upon us the consequences of our wrongdoing… let her not be like the dead, emerging from its mother’s womb with half its flesh consumed.”
The Torah may not only be commanding us to remember Miriam’s wrongdoing and avoid offending and hurting others with slander and harmful speech. It may also be guiding our response to being offended and hurt, recalling Aaron’s urging Moshe to forgive Miriam and ensure that she would not be punished on his account. Moshe followed that counsel, crying out to G-d with the request that He heal Miriam, “Keil na r’fa na la.”
It is good not to speak negatively about others; it is above and beyond good to find it within ourselves to be forgiving and wish well upon those who have spoken negatively about us.
As our Sages taught (Rosh Hashana 17a), kol hama’avir al midotav ma’avirim lo al kol p’sha’av, the greatness and graciousness of offering forgiveness generate an environment of compassion all around us, as those who are forgiving of other will receive the embrace of forgiveness themselves.
Have a wonderful Shabbos and may we be blessed with besorot tovot, truly good news.
Moshe Hauer