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Keeping Your Bashert
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We live in an age where the very social fabric of society seems to be tearing apart at the seams. Divorce rates in the western world hover at fifty percent. And that’s only for first marriages. Second marriages have an even higher failure rate. And third marriages a higher failure rate still. Besides the personal […]
What If I Missed My Bashert
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The first step is to realize that there are second chances. We’ve all heard our share of dating stories where the couple went out and decided it wasn’t a match. They each went their separate ways, dated other people, and finally six years later, they went out again and got married. But that’s not always […]
But I’m Just Not Sure
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What happens if you sort of, kind of, feel this person is the right one—but you’re just not sure? What do you do? The first thing you do is speak the situation over with someone older and wiser than you, the main goal being to help you sort out your feelings and help you identify […]
Bashert Doesn’t Mean That It Has to Be
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Imagine it is Rosh Hashanah. I am standing in shul when suddenly a loud voice booms: “RABBI!” “Yes…” I meekly respond. “I HAVE BEEN SENT FROM HEAVEN TO DELIVER A MESSAGE.” “Yes, yes. Tell me. Please tell me. What is it?” “THEY SENT ME TO TELL YOU THAT THIS YEAR, YOU WILL MAKE A MILLION […]
Too Smart to Get Married
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I got a call from a fellow who said, “Rebbe, you have to help me.” “Sure, sure. What’s up?” I replied. “Well, I was set up with this girl, and I think that I’m going to fall for her.” “That’s great. So what’s the problem?” “What’s the problem? That’s the problem. She’s not what I’m […]
The Bashert Test
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One of the greatest challenges in life is finding the balance between bitachon and histadlus—recognizing that HASHEM runs the world, yet actively doing our part. If this is difficult in many situations, it is much more so when it comes to choosing a spouse. The question is: what is the correct approach when dating? The […]
What Real Bitachon Feels Like
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Imagine a five-year-old, walking with her mother into the hospital for her second chemotherapy treatment. The little girl knows what’s coming. She remembers the pain. She understands the nausea. She knows what it’s like to brush her hair and watch clumps come out. Yet, she holds her mother’s hand, and goes along, because “Mommy said […]
Stop Playing God
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Eighty percent of our emunah problems and ninety percent of our questions on Hashem stem from one mistake—we play God. Playing God means I know exactly what I need. I need to marry that woman. I need that job. I need my child to get into that school. I’ve talked to Hashem about it. I’ve […]
Hashem Loves You More than You Love Yourself
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The Chovos HaLevavos explains that in order to have bitachon, you must realize that Hashem cares about you in a very real way. You must appreciate that Hashem is deeply concerned for your good. And you must know that Hashem loves you. But Hashem doesn’t care about you as a mortal cares about you. Hashem […]
Is Hashem Angry with Me?
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“The second question is,” I said, “what could you do to make Hashem angry? “Let’s say that you decided, ‘That’s it. I’m fed up with Hashem, and I’m going to do something to get Him angry.’ What could you do to make Hashem really mad? “The answer is nothing. Because, quite frankly, you’re not important […]