1,009. When We Don’t Have to Listen to Parents

143:12 If a son wants to go to a certain place to study Torah because he feels that it will be better for him than where he is, and his father objects for whatever reason, he is not obligated to listen to his father. This is because Torah study overrides honoring one’s parents, as we see from Yaakov, who studied in the yeshiva of Eiver for 14 years before moving on to Lavan’s house, where he stayed for 22 years. He was punished for these 22 years in which he did not fulfill the mitzvah of honoring his parents by being deprived of his son Yoseif for 22 years, but he was not punished for the 14 years that he spent studying Torah. Similarly, if the son wants to marry a particular woman and his father objects, the son does not have to listen to him.

143:13 A woman is obligated to honor her parents just as a man is. However, a married woman, because she is responsible to her husband, is exempt from honoring her parents. If her husband is not strict in the matter, she is required to do all that she is able.