{"id":62114,"date":"2019-07-17T11:39:47","date_gmt":"2019-07-17T16:39:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=62114"},"modified":"2019-07-17T12:37:42","modified_gmt":"2019-07-17T17:37:42","slug":"life-is-unfair-thank-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/","title":{"rendered":"Life is Unfair (Thank God!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Please complete the following quote from Pirkei Avos<\/strong><\/a> (4:1): \u201cWho is considered rich? A person who ________________.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like most people, you probably completed that phrase with \u201cis satisfied with his lot\u201d or \u201cis happy with what he has.\u201d But that\u2019s not what the mishna actually says. \u201cEizehu ashir? Hasameiach b\u2019chelko<\/em>\u201d \u2013 \u201cWho is considered rich? One who rejoices<\/em> in his portion.\u201d Being satisfied with what we have is the bare minimum; we\u2019re meant to rejoice<\/em> in what we have.<\/p>\n

No story better illustrates this concept than a famous incident involving the saintly Reb Zusha of Annapoli:<\/p>\n

A man once visited the Maggid of Mezeritch and said that he couldn\u2019t grasp the Talmudic dictum that we are meant to bless God for the bad times just as we bless Him for the good times (Brachos 54a). The Maggid told him to go visit his student Reb Zusha, who would explain it to him. The man went to Reb Zusha\u2019s house and was astonished at the family\u2019s dire poverty. They had almost no food, family members were sick, and there were many other challenges, but Reb Zusha welcomed him warmly and cheerfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked the Maggid how it\u2019s possible to bless God for the bad times as we do for the good times,\u201d the visitor told Reb Zusha, \u201cand he said that you would explain it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m flattered,\u201d Reb Zusha replied, \u201cbut I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t help you. I\u2019ve never experienced any bad times!\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to see Reb Zusha\u2019s mindset but it\u2019s hard to understand how he got there, let alone how we could possibly hope to emulate him. A few months ago, however, I read something in the most unlikely of places that helped me to contextualize this matter.<\/p>\n

A little while ago, in an article on \u201creligious embarrassment<\/strong><\/a>,\u201d I cited an idea from a book called I Still Want to Be an Astronaut: Living Your Dream When You Dream Too Much<\/em><\/strong><\/a> by James Perry, a sketch comedian whose work I enjoy. He also says something on this topic that I’d like to share:<\/p>\n

Life is totally unfair. Thank goodness! If life were fair, we would all suffer for every bad thing we\u2019ve done. If life were fair, your imperfection would lead to devastation, because you would never be able to do anything perfectly, and that would ruin your life. You would pay for every sin, and you would have to earn goodness before you could experience it. \u2026 I\u2019m so glad life is so much kinder than it is fair.<\/em><\/p>\n

What a novel \u2013 and yet completely accurate \u2013 way of looking at things! When people say that life is unfair, what they usually mean is that someone else has something that they don\u2019t, and they want to have that thing, too. It\u2019s essentially complaining that God \u2013 our Father \u2013 is showing favoritism to another person.<\/p>\n

On the subject of parental favoritism, allow me to share the most obscure movie reference you\u2019ll see all year. In the 1976 comedy The Big Bus<\/em>, Jos\u00e9 Ferrer portrays the villain, who is in an iron lung. The villain\u2019s brother, who is jealous because of their father\u2019s alleged favoritism, complains, \u201cHow come you got the iron lung?\u201d Ferrer\u2019s character replies, \u201cI\u2019m the one who was sick!\u201d The brother is so hyper-focused on what he doesn\u2019t have (an iron lung) that he completely overlooks what he does have (his health). Do we do the same thing?<\/p>\n

We\u2019re all experts in what we don\u2019t<\/em> have but have we thought as much about what we do<\/em> have? Were you born into a loving family, with parents who raised you, fed you and clothed you? If so, you did nothing to earn that; it was a gift. Do you have a roof over your head? Food on your plate? Relatively good health? An education? Family? Friends? Some of us may not have all of these particular things but each of us surely has\u00a0some<\/em> things. Whatever we have, it\u2019s a gift. We did nothing to earn it. How terrible life would be if it were \u201cfair\u201d and we had to earn the good things in our lives!<\/p>\n

Consider God\u2019s Divine \u201cattributes,\u201d as listed in Exodus 34:6-7: God is compassionate both before and after a person sins; He is merciful, gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in kindness and truth; He preserves kindness for 2,000 generations, and forgives iniquity, rebellion and sin; but if a person persists in his ancestors\u2019 evil behavior, then God will revisit the ancestors\u2019 guilt for up to three or four generations. So, of God\u2019s 13 \u201cattributes,\u201d 12 are inherently generous and only one is strict \u2013 and even then, only conditionally. The Tosefta, noting that God repays good for 2,000 generations but He only repays evil for four generations, concludes that His attribute of mercy is 500 times greater than His inclination to punish. (If you\u2019re curious why I keep putting \u201cattributes\u201d in quotes, see my book The God Book<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, excerpted here<\/strong><\/a>.)<\/p>\n

If life unfair? Absolutely. But I\u2019d much rather live in a world where the deck is stacked in favor of Divine mercy and undeserved kindness than one where we have to earn everything that God gives us now for free. As King David wrote (Psalms 130:3<\/strong><\/a>), if God were to keep score of our deeds, none of us could possibly endure.<\/p>\n

Our senses, the leaves on the trees, potable water, a functioning digestive system, Internet access to read this article \u2013 whatever we have in life is a gift that we have done nothing to earn. If that\u2019s not a reason to rejoice in what we have, I don\u2019t know what is.<\/p>\n

\n

Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including\u00a0The Tzniyus Book<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0The Taryag Companion<\/a>. His latest work,\u00a0The God Book<\/a>, is available from\u00a0OU Press<\/a>\u00a0as well as on\u00a0Amazon<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please complete the following quote from Pirkei Avos (4:1): \u201cWho is considered rich? A person who ________________.\u201d If you\u2019re like most people, you probably completed that phrase with \u201cis satisfied with his lot\u201d or \u201cis happy with what he has.\u201d But that\u2019s not what the mishna actually says. \u201cEizehu ashir? Hasameiach b\u2019chelko\u201d \u2013 \u201cWho is<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":384,"featured_media":62115,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nLife is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Life is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Please complete the following quote from Pirkei Avos (4:1): \u201cWho is considered rich? A person who ________________.\u201d If you\u2019re like most people, you probably completed that phrase with \u201cis satisfied with his lot\u201d or \u201cis happy with what he has.\u201d But that\u2019s not what the mishna actually says. \u201cEizehu ashir? Hasameiach b\u2019chelko\u201d \u2013 \u201cWho is\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-07-17T16:39:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-07-17T17:37:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"495\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"329\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/\",\"name\":\"Life is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-07-17T16:39:47+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-07-17T17:37:42+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/50551cbad585e4b2a31b4b0227e06c1c\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg\",\"width\":495,\"height\":329},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/\",\"name\":\"OU Life\",\"description\":\"Everyday Jewish Living\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/50551cbad585e4b2a31b4b0227e06c1c\",\"name\":\"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Jack-Abramowitz_avatar-96x96.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Jack-Abramowitz_avatar-96x96.jpg\",\"caption\":\"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz\"},\"description\":\"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including The Tzniyus Book and The Taryag Companion. His latest work, The God Book, is available from OU Press as well as on Amazon.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/rabbi-jack-abramowitz\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Life is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Life is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life","og_description":"Please complete the following quote from Pirkei Avos (4:1): \u201cWho is considered rich? A person who ________________.\u201d If you\u2019re like most people, you probably completed that phrase with \u201cis satisfied with his lot\u201d or \u201cis happy with what he has.\u201d But that\u2019s not what the mishna actually says. \u201cEizehu ashir? Hasameiach b\u2019chelko\u201d \u2013 \u201cWho is","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/","og_site_name":"OU Life","article_published_time":"2019-07-17T16:39:47+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-07-17T17:37:42+00:00","og_image":[{"width":495,"height":329,"url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/","name":"Life is Unfair (Thank God!) - OU Life","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg","datePublished":"2019-07-17T16:39:47+00:00","dateModified":"2019-07-17T17:37:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/50551cbad585e4b2a31b4b0227e06c1c"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/life-is-unfair-thank-god\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/unfair.jpg","width":495,"height":329},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/","name":"OU Life","description":"Everyday Jewish Living","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/50551cbad585e4b2a31b4b0227e06c1c","name":"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Jack-Abramowitz_avatar-96x96.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Jack-Abramowitz_avatar-96x96.jpg","caption":"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz"},"description":"Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including The Tzniyus Book and The Taryag Companion. His latest work, The God Book, is available from OU Press as well as on Amazon.","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/rabbi-jack-abramowitz\/"}]}},"acf":[],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/384"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=62114"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":62130,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62114\/revisions\/62130"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/62115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=62114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=62114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=62114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}