{"id":61498,"date":"2019-01-30T16:54:33","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T21:54:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=61498"},"modified":"2019-01-30T16:54:33","modified_gmt":"2019-01-30T21:54:33","slug":"not-the-enemy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/not-the-enemy\/","title":{"rendered":"Not the Enemy"},"content":{"rendered":"

In addition to the insightful, entertaining and, quite frankly, brilliant articles that I contribute to OU Life<\/strong><\/a>, I am also a regular contributor to the web site Jew in the City<\/strong><\/a>. Generally speaking, my offerings there consist of questions that have been submitted by readers and my responses, fleshed out to longer-than-average length. (I answer a lot of questions both here and at Jew in the City. I can answer most questions in under 100 words. If it takes me 1,500 words, it\u2019s because that\u2019s<\/em> an article.)<\/p>\n

Recently, Allison Josephs, the titular Jew in the City, forwarded me a question about cleaning guru Marie Kondo, whose philosophy includes animism, which is part of her Shinto religion. I told Allison that I couldn\u2019t poskin<\/em> for this person as to the propriety of using a cleaning methodology grounded in such a philosophy and Allison replied that that was okay \u2013 I should just address what the underlying issues might be. This I did<\/strong><\/a>, using a number of other areas that might be more familiar as examples.<\/p>\n

Throughout this article, I stressed that I was not ruling; I wasn\u2019t even revealing my own opinions! I was merely sharing some probably-not-universal Jewish thoughts on animism, yoga, the law of attraction, and other popular phenomena regarding which some people might have objections and others might not. I express twice – once at the beginning and again at the end – that readers should consult with their own rabbis for guidance. I thought this would be an interesting overview and nothing more but a surprising number of readers on social media took it really<\/em> close to heart.<\/p>\n

There were certainly those who applauded the positions they perceived me to be taking, namely calling out practices that are presumably grounded in avodah zarah<\/em> (idolatry). I can\u2019t take too much credit for calling anything out because I didn\u2019t say whether or not I agreed with those positions; I merely stated that they exist.<\/p>\n

Similarly, there were those who took things really personally. A number of people argued strenuously against various positions that I cited. In the words of the Talmud, lama li kulei hai<\/em>? (\u201cWhy is all this necessary?\u201d – Brachos 33b, for those who care to know such things.)<\/p>\n

I would understand it if I said something like, \u201cMarie Kondo\u2019s cleaning method is clearly prohibited.\u201d That\u2019s an objective statement that is either factually correct or incorrect. You can argue with that statement.<\/p>\n

I could also understand it if I said something like, \u201cI think that yoga is based on idolatry.\u201d You could argue with me in an effort to change my mind. (For the record, I didn\u2019t say that. I cited the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who said it.)<\/p>\n

But when I say, \u201cSome people have a problem with such-and-such philosophy for the following reasons; ask your own rabbi for guidance,\u201d why do so many people feel the need to argue? What will that accomplish? The reality will remain that some will believe X and others will believe Y. Why is it so troubling just acknowledging that other positions exist?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to have divergent opinions. It may even be desirable. I have encountered this phenomenon in a number of ways over the years and found it to be beneficial. When I was writing The Tzniyus Book<\/em><\/a><\/strong>, I showed my manuscript to five rabbis and women educators. They all approved of the content, though two of the five opined that it was perhaps a little too right-leaning, while another two of the five opined that it was perhaps a little too left-leaning. The fifth – Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb – thought it was spot on. When I told Rabbi Weinreb that the others I had shown it to disagreed as to whether it was too far left or too far right, he said that\u2019s how I know I\u2019m where I want to be.<\/p>\n

Similarly, when I wrote a pamphlet about talking in shul (as described elsewhere<\/strong><\/a>), I encountered the following feedback:<\/p>\n

RABBI A: It\u2019s too strong.
\nRABBI B: It\u2019s not strong enough.
\nRABBI C: I defer to Rabbi D.
\nRABBI D: I don\u2019t believe in pamphlets.<\/p>\n

None of these people, however, said \u201cmy way or the highway.\u201d None of them objected to the mere existence of other approaches than their own.<\/p>\n

A number of people disagreed with my article on animism based on various Midrashim that seem to personify inanimate objects. I recognize their right to take such things literally; why don\u2019t they recognize the right of others to take such things allegorically?<\/p>\n

Similarly, some people argued \u201cwhy can\u2019t we learn lesson X from animism?\u201d and \u201cwhy can\u2019t we learn lesson Y from yoga?\u201d Leaving aside the fact that therein lies the entire crux of the difference of opinion, why are people so quick to reconcile Judaism with Shinto or Hinduism at the expense of what Judaism may actually say about doing so?<\/p>\n

I imagine the real reason that some people objected so vigorously is because they like Marie Kondo\u2019s approach, or yoga, or The Secret<\/em>, and they don\u2019t like the implication that they may be doing something wrong. But it\u2019s okay if we differ. My Sefardi friends eat rice on Pesach; I don\u2019t. I\u2019ll put lox and cream cheese on the same bagel; they won\u2019t. In such cases, I\u2019m following the opinions of my rabbis and they\u2019re following the opinions of theirs. Someone having a different position is not an indictment of your actions. Begrudging others the right to have a divergent opinion might be.<\/p>\n

Ronald Reagan said, \u201cThe person who agrees with you 80% of the time is a friend and an ally \u2013 not a 20% traitor.\u201d It doesn\u2019t have to be all or nothing. We should all be on the same side even if we differ in some of the details. Agreeing to respectfully disagree will enable us all to participate in a true machlokes l\u2019sheim Shamayim<\/em> (debate for the sake of Heaven \u2013 Avos 5:17).<\/p>\n

\n

Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including\u00a0The Tzniyus Book<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0The Taryag Companion<\/a>. His latest work,\u00a0The God Book<\/a>, is available from\u00a0OU Press<\/a>\u00a0as well as on\u00a0Amazon<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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