{"id":60385,"date":"2018-08-14T09:57:36","date_gmt":"2018-08-14T14:57:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=60385"},"modified":"2018-09-16T07:15:24","modified_gmt":"2018-09-16T12:15:24","slug":"things-happen-thats-not-your-fault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/things-happen-thats-not-your-fault\/","title":{"rendered":"Things Happen; That\u2019s Not Your Fault"},"content":{"rendered":"

In a previous article<\/strong><\/a>, we discussed the interplay of hishtadlus<\/em> and emunah<\/em> \u2013 human effort and faith in God, respectively. While the degree of our emunah<\/em> may be fairly constant, the amount of hishtadlus<\/em> we are able to invest can vary from situation to situation. If your car breaks down on the highway, a passenger who is a mechanic will probably be able to exert somewhat more influence over the situation than one who is a pastry chef. I was reminded of the limits of our hishtadlus<\/em> during my recent back trouble.<\/p>\n

When I started hobbling around on a cane, everyone had a theory as to what had gone wrong with my back. (Naturally, some of their theories were mutually exclusive.) One person thought the trouble must be that I put on some weight. (Quite the opposite, in fact. I put on weight because my back issues precluded physical activity.) Others assumed that it was the gym that had caused my back problems. (Also incorrect. My back issues preceded my gym attendance by years. If anything, my flare-ups were less frequent and less severe during my years of \u201cgym life.\u201d) Rather, my doctor \u2013 a spine specialist who read my MRIs \u2013 diagnosed my back problems as a congenital defect that finally caught up with me. To use his words, \u201cNothing you did caused it and there\u2019s nothing you could have done to prevent it.\u201d That was exactly what I needed to hear.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s also something people need to hear after experiencing the death of a loved one. A natural reaction when someone passes away is for those who remain behind to feel guilty and to suffer recriminations: \u201cIf only I\u2019d done this differently, they might have lived,\u201d \u201cIf only I\u2019d done that differently, their last days would have been more comfortable,\u201d etc. This is usually inaccurate and it\u2019s never helpful. Far more often than not, people have done their honest best. Circumstances were simply beyond their limited, human control.<\/p>\n

That hishtadlus<\/em> has limits was something I internalized post-9\/11. I was at the World Trade Center on that fateful day and I suffered some mild PTSD afterwards. I live near one of the New York-area airports and the sound of planes overhead had me constantly ducking my head. One of the things that helped me overcome this was, ironically, the crash of American Airlines flight 587.<\/p>\n

At the time, I was a chaperoning an OU leadership program for teens, whom I would accompany to various political events in Washington. Despite the confidence that my logical side had in the event\u2019s enhanced security measures, my PTSD side was anxious about attending a high-profile Jewish political event. And then the phone calls started.<\/p>\n

American Airlines flight 587 to the Dominican Republic was downed not by terrorism but by malfunction; all 260 on board were killed, as were five people on the ground. While the crash site wasn\u2019t all that<\/em> close to my home, it was in my general area. I was sitting in a DC hotel lobby in those pre-Facebook days when my phone started ringing off the (non-existent) hook thanks to people checking that I was okay. It was then that I had my epiphany: I could have stayed home from DC out of fright, only to have a plane crash on my block. We do what we can but, ultimately, things are up to God.<\/p>\n

Chazal tell us as much when they say, \u201chakol b\u2019yidei Shamayim <\/em>chutz miyiras Shamayim<\/em>,\u201d \u201ceverything is in the hands of Heaven except for the fear of Heaven,\u201d i.e., one\u2019s religious observance (Brachos 33b). Life and death, health and income – that’s all up to God. Whether or not we listen to God? That’s up to us. Our yiras Shamayim<\/em> is the only thing we truly can control.<\/p>\n

When the Jews were given manna in the wilderness, they were instructed to take the volume of an omer<\/em> each, neither more nor less. Nevertheless, some people did indeed take more or less but when they measured it, they still had an omer<\/em> each! Regarding this, the Torah tells us, \u201cv\u2019lo hedif hamarbeh v\u2019hamamit lo hechsir<\/em>,\u201d \u201cthe one who took more had no surplus and the one who took less was not lacking\u201d (Exodus 16:18). The gematria of the phrase \u201cv\u2019lo hedif hamarbeh<\/em>\u201d (\u201cthe one who took more had no surplus\u201d) is 458, while the value of \u201cv\u2019hamamit lo hechsir<\/em>,\u201d (\u201cthe one who took less was not lacking\u201d) is 494.<\/p>\n

At first glance, 458 and 494 appear to be unrelated. Try adding the digits, however, and you\u2019ll quickly discover that 4+5+8=17 and 4+9+4=17. The gematria is symbolic of this verse\u2019s point: sometimes we think that we\u2019re getting more or less than we\u2019re supposed to, but upon closer examination we find that we\u2019re getting our assigned share.<\/p>\n

This is true in all aspects of life. The only thing we can truly control is our own spiritual development; everything else is ultimately God\u2019s department. In our previous article, we cited the mishna in Avos (2:16) that we\u2019re not responsible to finish the task but that doesn\u2019t exempt us from investing our best efforts in the attempt. Yes, we absolutely must<\/em> invest our human effort into earning a living, safeguarding our health, maintaining our vehicles, etc. There reaches a point, however, where all of our efforts simply aren\u2019t enough. There comes a time when God has other plans. When that happens, we mustn\u2019t blame ourselves as if our efforts were insufficient. Rather, that\u2019s simply the natural order of things. We invest our best efforts and expect to find 458, or perhaps 494. At the end of the day, we get 17. This is what God has budgeted for us and no amount of creative accounting on our parts will change that.<\/p>\n

Or, as my doctor put it, \u201cNothing you did caused it and there\u2019s nothing you could have done to prevent it.\u201d That\u2019s a good reality check. Let\u2019s try to remember it.<\/p>\n

\n

Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including\u00a0The Tzniyus Book<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0The Taryag Companion<\/a>. His latest work,\u00a0The God Book<\/a>, is available from\u00a0OU Press<\/a>\u00a0as well as on\u00a0Amazon<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a previous article, we discussed the interplay of hishtadlus and emunah \u2013 human effort and faith in God, respectively. While the degree of our emunah may be fairly constant, the amount of hishtadlus we are able to invest can vary from situation to situation. If your car breaks down on the highway, a passenger<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":384,"featured_media":60386,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-60385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nThings Happen; That\u2019s Not Your Fault - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We must invest our human effort into earning a living, safeguarding our health, etc. There reaches a point, however, where our efforts aren\u2019t enough because God has other plans.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/things-happen-thats-not-your-fault\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Things Happen; 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