I used to have a funny habit. Remember toll booths? Before EZ Pass, we used to wait on line to reach a little booth, where we paid our tolls to a live human being. Well, I always used to crack jokes and banter with toll booth workers. It didn\u2019t take my wife long to notice this and to ask me why I did that. I responded that toll booth work is incredibly monotonous and that toll booth workers have a high suicide rate, just under that of dentists. If I can do something to give them a smile or to brighten their day, why shouldn\u2019t I?<\/p>\n
This just seems like common sense \u2013 and it\u2019s not limited to toll booth workers \u2013 but apparently it doesn\u2019t occur to everyone. My old friend David Spigelman recently shared the following incident on Facebook:<\/p>\n
Ordered my decaf coffee, waiting for the person I’m meeting with to get here. Then I said, \u201cGood morning, how are you doing today?\u201d to the woman taking the order. She stared at me blankly for a moment, and then said, \u201cWow, nobody ever asks me that.\u201d That’s so sad.<\/em><\/p>\n I said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear that.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Try to show appreciation to the workers you meet today.<\/em><\/p>\n Isn\u2019t that simply appalling? The barista was so taken aback by being asked how she was that she was struck speechless. I\u2019m not so na\u00efve that I think everyone has a kind word to accompany their coffee order but if we\u2019ve reached the point where it happens so infrequently that it incapacitates a barista out of shock\u2026 well, we as a society clearly have some work to do.<\/p>\n Let me ask you a question: do you know your mailman\u2019s name? (Mine\u2019s is Chuck.) Now, it\u2019s possible that someone is literally never home to see their postal carrier but those of us who do see this person on a regular basis must ask ourselves why we don\u2019t know his or her name. (Trust me, our mailmen know a lot<\/em> about us<\/em>. It only behooves us to know at least the barest information about them!)<\/p>\n So why don\u2019t more people greet their baristas, postmen and toll booth workers (in the rare occasion that they should meet any) \u2013 to say nothing of restaurant servers, bank tellers, gas station attendants and other service professionals with whom we may interact? There are any number of possible reasons.<\/p>\n Perhaps someone is painfully shy. That\u2019s always possible but in our scenario, one is not too introverted to go get a cup of coffee so I don\u2019t think that accounts for a significant portion of the problem.<\/p>\n It could be that someone is busy or doesn\u2019t want to hold up the line. That\u2019s a legitimate concern but no one is saying to have a 30-minute conversation while the line snakes around the corner. If the barista has a moment to ask how we\u2019re doing, we can find the five seconds it takes to return the sentiment.<\/p>\n Maybe one considers servers and other service workers beneath his or her notice. This is one occasion where I\u2019d like to give mankind the benefit of the doubt. Certainly there are such people \u2013 we\u2019ve all probably met a few in our lifetimes \u2013 but in my experience, they are exceedingly few and far between, to say nothing of unlikely to stand on line to get their own coffee.<\/p>\n It\u2019s possible that it just doesn\u2019t occur to most people and \u2013 ding! ding! ding!<\/em> \u2013 I think we have a winner.<\/p>\n Most of us are simply too wrapped up in our own little bubbles. We\u2019re in our heads. We\u2019re on our phones. We just don\u2019t think about others. By definition, this makes us inconsiderate of them. Inconsiderate doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re overtly rude, obnoxious or dismissive. The word inconsiderate literally means that one \u201cdoesn\u2019t think of\u201d others. And we don\u2019t because if we did, we\u2019d be saying, \u201cHi, good morning. How are you? Can I please have a large mocha half-caf no-whip Americano frappe in an extra-large cup? Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n We have plenty of precedent for such behavior. For starters, just look at the book of Ruth (which we read every year, so it should be at least passingly familiar). Boaz is introduced in the second chapter, verse 4 of which tells us that \u201cBoaz came from Bethlehem and he said to the reapers, \u2018God be with you.\u2019 And they answered him, God bless you.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Boaz was a rich and powerful individual. The reapers were lowly workers. Lots of high and mighty people would simply overlook the menial laborers in their fields but Boaz went out of his way to greet them first. (And you will notice that they blessed him in return.)<\/p>\n Shammai\u2019s famous dictum in Avos (1:15) urges us to greet everyone with a cheerful countenance but let\u2019s see that principle in action. The Talmud in Brachos (17a) tells us that no one ever greeted Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai first \u2013 not even random non-Jews whom he passed in the street. They weren\u2019t important people, they weren\u2019t even fellow Jews, but they were fellow human beings so Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai took the initiative to pleasantly extend greetings to everyone he met.<\/p>\n One more: the Talmud in Baba Basra (9b) tells us that one who gives a coin to a needy person receives six blessings, while one who offers him kind words receives eleven blessings. (This is derived from Isaiah chapter 58, verses 7-12, which enumerate the various blessings one can expect from each form of kindness.) Must this only be true when it comes to beggars? If you know any restaurant servers, ask them if being a big tipper makes up for a customer not being polite. (It doesn\u2019t.) Similarly, whether you drop a dollar into the tip cup or not, the barista deserves a greeting and a smile.<\/p>\n We all have a lot on our minds but neither you nor I have a more pressing agenda than Shammai, Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai or Boaz. If Boaz can find time to greet the reapers, we can certainly find a smile for our baristas and others who perform numerous acts for us daily.<\/p>\n Rabbi Jack Abramowitz is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of six books, including\u00a0The Tzniyus Book<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0The Taryag Companion<\/a>. His latest work,\u00a0The God Book<\/a>, is available from\u00a0OU Press<\/a>\u00a0as well as on\u00a0Amazon<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I used to have a funny habit. Remember toll booths? Before EZ Pass, we used to wait on line to reach a little booth, where we paid our tolls to a live human being. Well, I always used to crack jokes and banter with toll booth workers. It didn\u2019t take my wife long to notice<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":384,"featured_media":59941,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-59940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n
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