Yoram had initially come to see me for \u201chelp with focusing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe I have ADHD?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
But nothing about his case suggested this was the case. Here was a talented computer programmer and business man, a dedicated family man, and a spiritual individual who had zero trouble focusing when he wasn\u2019t too tired to think straight.<\/p>\n
\u201cBaruch HaShem you\u2019re ADHD-free,\u201d I told him. \u201cYou’d have zero trouble concentrating if your schedule involved\u00a0\u00a0sleeping more than four hours a night.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0HaShem didn\u2019t make our bodies and minds to function correctly without the right amount of sleep: somewhere between 7-8 hours per night according both to \u201cThe Experts\u201d at Harvard Medical School and the Rambam himself.<\/p>\n
But Yoram was under tremendous pressure and didn\u2019t really have much of a choice. He had made Aliyah with his young family, was learning every morning, spending time with his kids in the afternoon, and had kept his position with a big technology firm out in California that required him to work a graveyard-shift from 7:00 pm-3:00 am. The poor guy\u2019s only regular sleep was for a few hours in the early morning before his kids woke up.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t really have any other options,\u201d Yoram lamented. \u201cI know it\u2019s crazy but I have to feed my family and this is a good job until I get into the startup scene here in Israel. But in the meantime I\u2019m tired and even though Eretz Yisrael is amazing, Aliyah is super\u00a0tough.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt his pain. Aliyah is “super tough.” I remembered my own first few months working at a local hospital in order to obtain my Israeli medical license. Waking up at 4:45 am to come into Yerushalayim every day was equally exciting and exhausting. I\u2019d work a full day on the wards and then head home to be with my family before beginning at 8:00 pm with my patients and business clients back in The States. I think I also averaged somewhere close to four hours a night for a little while and was grateful to HaShem that I\u2019d made it through in one piece.<\/p>\n
So once we\u2019d answered the question about ADHD, I offered Yoram the following advice, \u201ctry to get a normal 9-5 job as soon as you can in order to live with a more regular schedule.\u201d<\/p>\n
He thanked me for my time and I didn\u2019t plan to hear from Yoram again given the circumstantial-and-temporary as opposed to neurochemical-and-chronic nature of his problems.<\/p>\n
But Yoram emailed me to schedule a follow up visit and soon he was a regular therapy patient who would come to unload the struggles of Aliyah. There were plenty of normal difficulties that he would have found in moving to any new community: challenges with finding the right school, trouble finding a shul that he felt comfortable in, learning which shwarma places would ruin your stomach.<\/p>\n
But Yoram also had some tough luck for a stretch. He\u2019d been forced to leave his rented apartment after a few months due to a wacky conflict with his landlord over a malfunctioning air conditioner and his lawyer had been either too lazy or too incompetent to get their deposit back. Yoram\u2018s wife couldn\u2019t get her license due to a technicality and had to take 18 hours of driving lessons. He\u2019d also bought his third refrigerator in the six-months since he\u2019d landed as the first two were a pair of lemons.<\/p>\n
\u201cEretz Yisrael nikneh b\u2019yisurin<\/em>\u2014success in the Land of Israel only comes through spiritual trials\u2014I guess,\u201d he\u2019d say with a smile.<\/p>\n But it was clear that they were having a tough time and I asked him, \u201cAre you thinking about heading back to Los Angeles?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course it crosses my mind every day,\u201d he said and then started to laugh. \u201cBut I\u2019m kind of stuck here, I mean you can\u2019t really live in America with a name like \u2018Yoram.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0But here in Israel we have at least 23 guys on my street alone with the my name!\u201d<\/p>\n And so Yoram stayed positive and did his best to make it work. \u201cI don\u2019t want to be one of the Meraglim<\/em>\u2014the infamous spies from the Torah portion of Shlach<\/em>\u2014and to complain about Eretz Yisrael Dr. Freedman. I mean folks were \u2018draining the swamps\u2019 one hundred years ago and I have great-uncles who remember literally walking to Ashkelon all the way from Morocco. We got a free plane ticket with Nefesh B’Nefesh!\u201d<\/p>\n And then things slowly changed for the better as they do for most families. With time there were slow changes in expectations and there was less annoying immigration paperwork to be filled out.\u00a0\u00a0With the combination of hard work and prayers, Yoram found a fantastic job as a Chief Technological Officer for a technology startup designing a new messaging system. As Yoram listed his family\u2019s recent successes\u2014his children flourishing in the right schools, his wife being very happy with a teaching job at a local seminary, and a great Talmud class he\u2019d started on Thursday nights\u2014he stopped for a moment before shedding an honest tear and saying, \u201cand you get sechar pesiyot<\/em>\u2014every step is a mitzvah in Eretz Yisrael!\u201d<\/p>\n I was so happy for him.\u00a0\u00a0So with things headed in the right direction I once again said goodbye to Yoram and ended treatment. And then once again I was surprised to hear back a few days later when he scheduled an appointment.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened,\u201d I asked as he entered the room.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s silly, but I\u2019m starting to feel like one of the Meraglim<\/em> again Dr. Freedman. I got a company car which is amazing, then someone smashes into it in the parking lot and drives away, and I find out that my insurance isn\u2019t activated yet so I’m apparently liable for a solid eleven-thousand shekels. I hate to say it but \u2018this wouldn\u2019t have happened in Los Angeles.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know how to respond to this one given the fact that maybe it could have happened back in America. But before I could answer, Yoram continued, \u201cI feel like all this crummy stuff keeps happening because I\u2019m a new immigrant too. I mean back in the States I\u2019d never have to deal with crazy landlord, driving school, refrigerator, or auto-insurance shenanigans like this. It\u2019s really horrendous being an Oleh Chadash<\/em>\u2014a new immigrant.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hear you Yoram,\u201d I replied. \u201cIn the end we really just have to work hard to make a chesbon<\/em>\u2014an accounting\u2014of the pluses of living in Eretz Yisrael and whether or not they outweigh the minuses.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean the spiritual stuff Dr. Freedman?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep. But also the physical benefits too. I\u2019ll tell you a funny story. I have a good friend Avi who made Aliyah with his wife and kids to same street and the same week as me. In addition to being a mensch and the best left-handed baseball player in the country, he\u2019s also an accountant and a real rational, calculated guy. So when Avi told me that he had thought long and hard and had decided to buy a car with the government\u2019s Oleh Chadash <\/em>discount, I thought I\u2019d follow his steps as this was clearly the financially-savvy decision. Baruch HaShem I saved about twenty-thousand shekel in ridiculous taxes and was feeling great until I came to pick up my car and was told that I\u2019d signed a contract that required me to pay an additional four-thousand as part of some insurance clause that the ganav<\/em>\u2014the thief\u2014at the dealership conveniently left out of our discussions and put in small print on page 11 of the contract!\u201d<\/p>\n Yoram laughed, \u201cNow that\u2019s a bad Aliyah<\/em> story!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait Reb Yoram, let me finish. So as I\u2019m sitting there wondering if I should take him to court, I figured I\u2019d call my friend to hear his take on it. Cool as a cucumber, Avi tells me \u2018Yaakov it\u2019s fine. I think those guys did that to me too and maybe even because I have an American accent. But in the end you still benefit from being an Oleh Chadash<\/em>. I mean, you saved 20K for being an Oleh<\/em> and lost 4K because you were tricked for being an Oleh<\/em>. So I\u2019m the end you netted 16K as an Oleh Chadash<\/em>…that\u2019s pretty good Yaakov!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa! Now that\u2019s how to stay positive Dr. Freedman!\u201d<\/p>\n