{"id":59696,"date":"2018-05-15T10:32:28","date_gmt":"2018-05-15T15:32:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=59696"},"modified":"2018-05-27T01:36:58","modified_gmt":"2018-05-27T06:36:58","slug":"getting-old-stinks-but-it-beats-the-alternative","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/getting-old-stinks-but-it-beats-the-alternative\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Old Stinks (But It Beats the Alternative)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I did not take turning 40 well. (This was * koff koff<\/em> * years ago.) I tried the old Jack Benny trick of remaining perpetually 39 but you can only get away with that for 10 or 12 years before people start to get suspicious.<\/p>\n

I even proposed a brilliant bit of logic as to why men should be permitted to dye their graying beards, as follows: the reason men are not allowed to dye their hair is because it is considered a women\u2019s practice. But if a woman should happen to grow some facial hair, she wouldn\u2019t darken it, she would bleach it! Therefore, dyeing one\u2019s beard is the opposite of what a woman would do and should be permitted. I shared this line of reasoning with a certain rav, whose response was, \u201cNice try.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, here we are, (* koff koff<\/em> *) years later and things are starting to break down, as they tend to do. Unlike turning 40, however, I embrace the oncoming 50s, 60s and 70s with a much more positive attitude, if not actual enthusiasm (and I assure you, it is not<\/em> actual enthusiasm). Because, believe it or not, God just likes older people more than He does younger people.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true! It\u2019s the last mishna in tractate Kiddushin (82a). Okay, it\u2019s not enough to just<\/em> be old, but assuming that one is righteous and\/or studies Torah, old age is even better than youth. Regarding young people, Isaiah 40:31 says \u201cthose who wait for Hashem will renew their strength.\u201d That\u2019s pretty good but regarding older people, Psalms 92:15 says \u201cThey will flourish even more in their old age.\u201d Similarly, God promised Avraham in his youth that He would cause him to father a great nation (Genesis 12:2). That\u2019s a great blessing but it was when \u201cAvraham was old, in advanced years\u201d that \u201cHashem blessed Avraham with everything<\/em><\/u>\u201d (Genesis 24:1).<\/p>\n

Unlike our secular society\u2019s youth culture, we see that the Torah values advanced age much more. So much so that the Torah commands us to rise before both Torah scholars and the elderly<\/strong><\/a> (Leviticus 19:32). The Sefer HaChinuch explains why these two groups are comparable: a Torah scholar has wisdom that he has acquired through study, while an older person has wisdom that he has acquired through experience. In either case, we were created to pursue wisdom, so it is fitting to honor those who have acquired it, through whatever means. And while the obligation to honor elders excludes unrepentant sinners, it does include non-Jews. The Talmud (Kiddushin 33a) details how Rabbi Yochanan would rise for elderly non-Jews out respect for their life experience, Abaye would offer his hand to help them walk and Rava would speak deferentially to them.<\/p>\n

Extending honor to our elders is the exact reason that old age exists. In the earliest generations, people lived a ridiculously long time, with commensurate vitality. (Parents in those generations probably said things like, \u201cHe\u2019s way too young to start dating \u2013 he\u2019s only 90!\u201d) And yet, despite certain individuals living into multiple centuries, the relatively-young Avraham is the first person the Torah describes as being advanced in age. The Midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 65:9) explains this with the following story:<\/p>\n

Avraham asked God to create old age, saying, \u201cMaster of the Universe, when a man and his son enter a city, the residents don’t know whom to honor. If You would crown the father with the appearance of old age, then people will know whom to honor.\u201d God replied, \u201cYou have asked for a good thing, so I’ll start with you,\u201d hence the aforementioned \u201cAvraham was old, in advanced years\u201d (Genesis 24:1).<\/p>\n

Many Biblical verses and rabbinic dicta address the concept of respect for the elderly and what they bring to the table. These include:<\/p>\n