{"id":55562,"date":"2017-02-14T12:24:23","date_gmt":"2017-02-14T17:24:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=55562"},"modified":"2017-02-14T12:24:23","modified_gmt":"2017-02-14T17:24:23","slug":"powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Powerful Way To Teach Kids Responsibility"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many parents feel that their children are irresponsible. Parents will tell their kids, \u201cI had a job and paid for my own stuff!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy parents never checked my homework, I just did it myself!\u201d Finally, they will shake their head and say, \u201cYou are so irresponsible!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

All those things may be true of what we did as kids and what our kids are doing these days, but it does not help our kids actually learn to be responsible. <\/span><\/p>\n

Frankly, being responsible is and adult thing and does not come naturally to kids because childhood is the time to learn how to be responsible. We, the parents, are the ones who need to teach our kids how to be responsible.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are many ways to teach our kids to be responsible but ironically the most powerful way is to use the words responsible and point out the times that your child is acting responsibly. <\/span><\/p>\n

The first time children hear about the concept of responsibility is when they are being admonished for being \u201cirresponsible.\u201d Conceptually, they have no model for what responsibility actually looks like. <\/span><\/p>\n

Children learn in concrete ways. We need to put the word responsible and the action of responsibility together for them. <\/span><\/p>\n

That is why it is so important to point out when they are actually acting responsibly. Not only that, \u201cwhat we mention we strengthen\u201d, so the more times we point out and praise our child for acting responsibly, the more responsibly they will act. <\/span><\/p>\n

Furthermore, they do not have to do anything out of the ordinary for us to notice their responsible behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is what it sounds like that:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for coming in from playing to let me know that you are going to Sara\u2019s house to play. That was responsible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for letting me know that Savta called. Giving messages is being responsible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate that you played with the baby, while I was taking a shower. That was being responsible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We can also have our children overhear us telling our spouses or grandparents that they were acting responsibly:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEli, acted responsibly today. He was playing outside and ran right in to tell me that Sara was hurt and then ran to get a bandaid!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMrs. Schwartz told me that Sara played with her baby when she got to shul so she could daven. She felt that Sara acted responsibly!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, when your child does act in irresponsible ways, we can admonish them gently by reminding them of their past responsible behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you know how to be responsible, I am sure you will figure out a way to get your book report in on time!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you know how to be responsible, you have held onto to the house keys for a whole year now. I am sure you will figure out a way to make sure you bring your sneakers to school on gym days!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Teaching kids to be responsible is important. We can do it gently, kindly and responsibly. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many parents feel that their children are irresponsible. Parents will tell their kids, \u201cI had a job and paid for my own stuff!\u201d \u201cMy parents never checked my homework, I just did it myself!\u201d Finally, they will shake their head and say, \u201cYou are so irresponsible!\u201d All those things may be true of what we<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":720,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Most Powerful Way To Teach Kids Responsibility - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Most Powerful Way To Teach Kids Responsibility - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many parents feel that their children are irresponsible. Parents will tell their kids, \u201cI had a job and paid for my own stuff!\u201d \u201cMy parents never checked my homework, I just did it myself!\u201d Finally, they will shake their head and say, \u201cYou are so irresponsible!\u201d All those things may be true of what we\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-02-14T17:24:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Adina Soclof\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Adina Soclof\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/\",\"name\":\"The Most Powerful Way To Teach Kids Responsibility - OU Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-02-14T17:24:23+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/e1d662e1b99b4cb9d5268c1a8111a03a\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/powerful-way-teach-kids-responsibility\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/\",\"name\":\"OU Life\",\"description\":\"Everyday Jewish Living\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/e1d662e1b99b4cb9d5268c1a8111a03a\",\"name\":\"Adina Soclof\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Adina-Soclof_avatar-96x96.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Adina-Soclof_avatar-96x96.png\",\"caption\":\"Adina Soclof\"},\"description\":\"Adina Soclof, MS. CCC-SLP is a certified Speech Pathologist. She received her master's degree from Hunter College in New York in Communication Sciences. She works as a Parent Educator for Bellefaire Jewish Children's Bureau facilitating \\\"How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk\\\" workshops as well as workshops based on \u201cSiblings Without Rivalry.\u201d Adina developed TEAM Communication Ventures and conducts parenting, teacher and clinician workshops via telephone nationwide. Adina lives with her husband and four lively children in Cleveland, Ohio. 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