{"id":54838,"date":"2017-01-10T11:10:51","date_gmt":"2017-01-10T16:10:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=54838"},"modified":"2017-01-15T03:26:11","modified_gmt":"2017-01-15T08:26:11","slug":"remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/","title":{"rendered":"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt”l"},"content":{"rendered":"

It had to be HaRav Moshe Shapiro Shlit\u201da.<\/em><\/p>\n

When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our newborn son with Down syndrome, Rav Moshe was the obvious choice. It wasn\u2019t just because I desired a great and distinguished rav for the role. But it was because he had demonstrated sensitivity to our specific plight.<\/p>\n

When you are told that your bechor<\/span><\/i> will have a life-long cognitive disability, you grasp onto whatever you can for chizzuk<\/span><\/i>. For me, it was a mazel tov letter written years earlier by Rav Moshe to Rabbi Baruch Rabinowitz, celebrating the recent birth of a child with Down syndrome named Nota Shlomo.<\/p>\n

A Profound Letter of Comfort<\/strong><\/span><\/u><\/h3>\n

Rav Moshe wrote that Nota Shlomo was a \u201cwonderful gift,<\/span>\u201da gift with the potential to transform the lives of his parents and bring forth wellsprings of love from the depths of their hearts. He also alluded to how the elevated soul of such a child is sent to this world not for its own sake, but rather to help those around it.<\/p>\n

I would be lying if I told you this line of reasoning was comforting at the time of my sons\u2019s birth. But what I did find comforting was the message that every little step Nota Shlomo would advance in terms of attaining human dignity, deductive reasoning, and developing independence would be considered an accomplishment equivalent to conquering an entire world. Rav Moshe even commented that \u201chalevei<\/i>\u201dthat everybody understood this most fundamental principle of Yiddishkeit<\/span><\/i>. This insight, coupled with the palpable love and concern expressed by Rav Moshe for his beloved but anguished talmid years ago, made him the clear choice\u00a0for\u00a0our sandak<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Now, years later, two things still stand out about the bris of our Yedidya Shlomo. The first was the embrace Rav Moshe gave me when he arrived at the simchah<\/i>, and his comment, \u201cI promise\u00a0<\/i><\/b>you he will be a typical child.\u201d The second was Rav Moshe accenting and highlighting Yedidya\u2019s immense potential by proclaiming quite loudly \u201cgadol<\/span>\u201dwhen my rosh yeshiva, Rav Yaakov Friedman shlita, read the words \u201czeh hakaton<\/i>\u2018<\/i>gadol<\/span><\/i>\u2019<\/i><\/i>yehiyeh<\/i>\u201dduring the kerias hashem<\/span><\/i>.<\/p>\n

In my office, I have a big picture of Rav Moshe with baby Yedidya Shlomo on his lap at the bris. I often look at the photo, and it brings me back to a different time in my life. I remember the trepidation, the tears, the questions, and the search for comfort.<\/p>\n

I often look at the photo, and it brings me back to a different time in my life<\/p>\n

I realize now that sometimes in life, you just have to \u201cflow\u201dwith a situation, and resolution just comes by itself at some later point. There\u2019s never any great epiphany, it just somehow becomes okay \u2013 and even normal\u2013 with the passage of time. It is like what I once heard a mesader kiddushin\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/i>say under a chuppah<\/i> of an older single who finally married a girl he had dated years earlier, \u201cMah shelo yaaseh hasechel yaaseh hazman<\/i>\u2013what intelligence doesn\u2019t accomplish, time will.\u201d<\/p>\n

What is Typical Anyway?<\/u><\/u><\/h3>\n

The beauty is that Rav Moshe\u2019s brachah has come true.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll admit that when he \u201cpromised\u201dYedidya would be a typical child, I wishfully thought that he was predicting that he would genuinely be\u201cregular\u201dor even <\/span>\u201ccured.\u201d But while Yedidya still has Down syndrome, he is certainly typical of other children – which is, of course, what Rav Moshe meant.<\/p>\n

It is a great nachas to watch Yedidya come to understand and apply concepts that he gleans from his environment.\u00a0 It is a great joy to us, even when his formulations of certain terms or expressions are less than perfect.\u00a0 He enthusiastically calls shabbatonim that he participates in a \u201cShabbos-a-tone,\u201dand often inquires when the next one will be.\u00a0 Yet, he clearly is excited and understands that this is a unique weekend away from home exclusively for him. As Rav Moshe said in his letter, an iota of deductive reasoning, \u201cmeivin davar mitoch davar<\/span><\/i>,\u201dis to capture an entire world.<\/p>\n

Once, Yedidya\u2019s amazing rebbe, Rav Yehoshua Fulda of Washington Heights, asked to speak with me. He shared how often Yedidya will intentionally answer wrongly to a question in a most playful manner. Rabbi Fulda was proud of this chicanery and cunning. It shows him that Yedidya is \u201ctypical,\u201dsince he obviously knows the correct answer, but wants to keep his rebbi<\/span><\/i> on his toes. Rabbi Fulda also shared, with tears in his eyes, that he has never seen such an intense bond between father and son. I can\u2019t vouch for the veracity of his statement, but I was touched that the wellsprings of love that Rav Moshe spoke of in his letter are palpable and apparent to a regular observer.<\/p>\n

Accepting or Rejecting Challenges<\/u><\/u><\/h3>\n

A few years ago, a family we were acquainted with didn\u2019t take their baby home from the hospital because it had Down syndrome.\u00a0 It took much time and chizuk until we were able to convince them to take ownership of the child that Hashem gave them.\u00a0 I even understand that in some extremely rare circumstances, it could be beneficial to have someone else adopt the child.\u00a0 Obviously, this depends on the level of challenge coupled with the ability of the parents. However, such a weighty decision raises the very significant philosophical issue of whether or not Hashem “mistakingly\u201d gifted this child to this couple. Does Hashem really make mistakes?<\/p>\n

There are tremendous opportunities hidden in these challenges. There seems to be a proliferation of diagnoses in the world today; many children have some sort of unique disposition\u2013behavioral or otherwise. Our task as parents is ultimately just to move our own child, whether \u201ctypical\u201dor\u201cspecial,\u201dto the next \u2018rung<\/span>\u2019 on their ladder. If we focus intently on this goal alone, we have done a service not just for our child, but also for the world at large.<\/p>\n

Graduating<\/u><\/u><\/h3>\n

My family has a strong focus on education and academic achievement. I was accepted to an Ivy League college and graduated from a top-five Ivy League law school.<\/p>\n

My Yedidya probably will not collect those degrees, but he can accomplish \u2018degrees’ of even greater significance. He will earn the degrees of\u00a0simchah<\/i>, nachas, and self-esteem, helped by parents who understand fully what their tafkid<\/i> is with their unique child.<\/p>\n

In our uber-complex, technologically sophisticated society, there is something so refreshing, almost jarring, about the simplicity and purity of the special emissaries that Hashem surrounds us with. He sends them to re-orient us, inspire us, and help us grow. Will we?<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Rabbi Dovid Cohen is the New York Regional Director of Community Engagement for the Orthodox Union\u00a0and\u00a0the Director of Community Engagement for Yachad, a thriving global organization dedicated to addressing the needs of all Jewish individuals with disabilities and ensuring their inclusion in every aspect of Jewish life. He previously served as Rabbi of the Young Israel of the West Side from 2006 until 2015. This essay is\u00a0an excerpt from Rabbi Dovid Cohen’s\u00a0book,\u00a0We’re Almost There, Living with Patience, Perseverance and Purpose<\/span>\u00a0(Mosaica Press 2016).<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It had to be HaRav Moshe Shapiro Shlit\u201da. When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our newborn son with Down syndrome, Rav Moshe was the obvious choice. It wasn\u2019t just because I desired a great and distinguished rav for the role. But it was because he had demonstrated sensitivity to our specific plight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":803,"featured_media":54904,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nRemembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt"l - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt"l - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-01-10T16:10:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-01-15T08:26:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"683\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rabbi Dovid Cohen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rabbi Dovid Cohen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/\",\"name\":\"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\\\"l - OU Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-01-10T16:10:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-01-15T08:26:11+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/083562c6b6ab551a4de4ac1e815b0e23\"},\"description\":\"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":683,\"caption\":\"Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\\\"l\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/\",\"name\":\"OU Life\",\"description\":\"Everyday Jewish Living\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/083562c6b6ab551a4de4ac1e815b0e23\",\"name\":\"Rabbi Dovid Cohen\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/73efabd18cb5d5845c11a2566dc5f2c16e9ffce5a341fae2ba0846308f1f80df?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/73efabd18cb5d5845c11a2566dc5f2c16e9ffce5a341fae2ba0846308f1f80df?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Rabbi Dovid Cohen\"},\"description\":\"Rabbi Dovid Cohen is the New York Synagogue Director, and Yachad Director of Community Engagement at the Orthodox Union.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/dovidcohen-me\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\"l - OU Life","description":"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\"l - OU Life","og_description":"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/","og_site_name":"OU Life","article_published_time":"2017-01-10T16:10:51+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-01-15T08:26:11+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1024,"height":683,"url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rabbi Dovid Cohen","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rabbi Dovid Cohen","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/","name":"Remembering Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\"l - OU Life","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg","datePublished":"2017-01-10T16:10:51+00:00","dateModified":"2017-01-15T08:26:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/083562c6b6ab551a4de4ac1e815b0e23"},"description":"When I contemplated whom to honor as sandak for our son with Downs, Rav Moshe Shapiro was the obvious choice; he demonstrated sensitivity to our plight.","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/remembering-rav-moshe-shapiro-ztl\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rav-Moshe-Shapiro-e1484468726278.jpg","width":1024,"height":683,"caption":"Rav Moshe Shapiro zt\"l"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/","name":"OU Life","description":"Everyday Jewish Living","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/083562c6b6ab551a4de4ac1e815b0e23","name":"Rabbi Dovid Cohen","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/73efabd18cb5d5845c11a2566dc5f2c16e9ffce5a341fae2ba0846308f1f80df?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/73efabd18cb5d5845c11a2566dc5f2c16e9ffce5a341fae2ba0846308f1f80df?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rabbi Dovid Cohen"},"description":"Rabbi Dovid Cohen is the New York Synagogue Director, and Yachad Director of Community Engagement at the Orthodox Union.","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/dovidcohen-me\/"}]}},"acf":[],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/803"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54838"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54905,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54838\/revisions\/54905"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/54904"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}