{"id":54197,"date":"2016-09-20T15:10:58","date_gmt":"2016-09-20T20:10:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=54197"},"modified":"2016-09-20T15:10:58","modified_gmt":"2016-09-20T20:10:58","slug":"strategies-making-real-changes-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Strategies for Making Real Changes in Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cRabbi, what is that on your wrist?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a Fitbit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you wear it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt tracks how many steps I take each day, the quantity and quality of my sleep, and other important pieces of information.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon Rabbi, sounds like shtick to me.\u00a0 Do you really need that?\u00a0 What does it do for you?\u00a0 You already know you should be active each day and that you need to get enough sleep, so just do what you are supposed to, why do you need to wear something?\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought about his question and it struck me as compelling.\u00a0 We know what we need to do in life, so why not just do it?\u00a0 Why involve outside \u201cshtick\u201d?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t it just a distraction?<\/p>\n

And then I remembered an excellent quote from the great management expert Peter Drucker<\/a>: \u201cWhat Gets Measured Gets Managed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe value of wearing a Fitbit,\u201d I told my friend, \u201cis that it holds me accountable to achieve my commitment and forces me to confront the reality of falling short, rather than at the end of each day bluffing or fooling myself about what had in fact transpired that day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Spiritual Growth<\/h2>\n

Across the world from Professor Peter Drucker lived another management expert, only he specialized in personal management. Rav Kalonymus Kalman Shapira<\/a>, Hy\u201dd, also known as the Piaseczno Rebbe, was a Chassidic Rebbe in Poland who served as the Rabbi of the Warsaw Ghetto and, after surviving the uprising, was later shot dead by the Nazis in the Trawniki labor camp. Among his many talents, he had incredible insight into human psychology.<\/p>\n

In his spiritual diary called Tzav V\u2019Ziruz he writes the following entry (#15):<\/p>\n

If you have been able to draw up personal rules for your spiritual growth, consider this a success.\u00a0 But if you have not, then either you have not devoted your life to personal growth or you are blind to your own failures and successes.<\/p>\n

Because the spiritual seeker who channels his efforts to his inner world will inevitably be faced with difficulty and distraction \u2013 not only external ones like supporting his family but also in his inner world such as indolence, negative tendencies, destructive character traits, and so forth \u2013 and because the spiritual seeker is constantly involved in this inner battle, sometimes winning and sometimes losing, he will inevitably come to conclusions: which strategies work for him and which ones bring out his weakness.<\/p>\n

So someone who cannot draw such conclusions is not engaged in the battle \u2013 he neither wins nor loses.\u00a0 Or else he is unaware of both his inner weaknesses and strong points.\u00a0 (Translation from Yehoshua Starret<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Essentially, the Piaseczno Rebbe says that when it comes to our character, our personal growth and becoming the best version of ourselves \u2013 what gets measured, gets managed.\u00a0 One cannot claim to care about growing spiritually and fail to devise a plan or a strategy, set goals, and, most importantly, identify how progress will be measured.<\/p>\n

It is one thing to say you want to work on having greater patience and being slower to anger and another to articulate a plan for how.\u00a0 Does the plan answer questions such as: What triggers your anger? Why do you lose patience?\u00a0 How will you learn to react differently?\u00a0 How will you measure and track if you are improving in this area?<\/p>\n

It is one thing to say you want to work on improving your davening and another to design a strategy to actually grow in your prayer experiences.\u00a0 Have you considered what is your biggest challenge connecting in prayer?\u00a0 When has prayer uplifted you in the past and what elements contributed to that positive experience and result?\u00a0 How will you improve?\u00a0 Will you read a book on prayer?\u00a0 Listen to classes on prayer? What are the metrics you will use to measure your growth in davening?<\/p>\n

The difference between a desire to grow being just lip service and empty words versus the beginning of real change is designing our personalized Spiritual Fitbit \u2013 a Spiritbit.<\/p>\n

Here are a few things to consider when programming your<\/strong> Spiritbit:<\/strong><\/h2>\n
    \n
  • Limit<\/u><\/strong> \u2013 Identify one or two areas you want to work on at a time. Taking on too much at one time makes it overwhelming and intimidating, making it almost impossible to make real progress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
      \n
    • Be Real<\/u> <\/strong>\u2013 Be realistic in setting the goals. Don\u2019t pledge to make radical changes that are impossible to achieve and unsustainable to maintain.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
        \n
      • Plan<\/u><\/strong> \u2013 The Rambam writes that to authentically accomplish teshuva, vidui<\/em>, articulating what we have done wrong, must be done out loud. Only by saying or writing what went wrong and what we will do to repair and improve in the future can we avoid bluffing ourselves or our way through this process.\u00a0 Putting our plan and goals into words causes us to be thoughtful, strategic, honest, and gives us a reference to measure against.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
          \n
        • Accountability<\/u> <\/strong>\u2013 Involve a family member, friend, or confidant in holding you accountable for doing what you say you are going to do. Choose someone trustworthy, kind, and who is more interested in helping you grow than in catching you fail.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
            \n
          • Schedule<\/u><\/strong> \u2013 Most businesses and companies have employee reviews. A good review seeks to validate and accentuate the positive while identifying and isolating areas that need improvement.\u00a0 Without scheduled reviews, it is unlikely time would be taken to reflect and to plan.\u00a0 Put in your schedule designated times to review your progress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
              \n
            • Celebrate<\/u> <\/strong>\u2013 Make space to celebrate your progress and growth. Be proud and use that pride to be motivated to grow further.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
                \n
              • Start Again<\/u><\/strong> \u2013 Don\u2019t stop just because you accomplished your particular goal. Set more goals and pursue them with the same resolve that brought you success the first time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                Get more sleep, lose weight, have less anger, stop feeling jealous, improve davening, be more scrupulous in following Jewish law, set aside time daily for Torah study \u2013 whatever the area you want to work on, this can absolutely be your year.<\/p>\n

                But it won\u2019t happen if you don\u2019t design a Spiritbit, a mechanism to be honest and to track results.\u00a0 Wear your Spiritbit and finally become the best version of yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                \u201cRabbi, what is that on your wrist?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a Fitbit.\u201d \u201cWhy do you wear it?\u201d \u201cIt tracks how many steps I take each day, the quantity and quality of my sleep, and other important pieces of information.\u201d \u201cC\u2019mon Rabbi, sounds like shtick to me.\u00a0 Do you really need that?\u00a0 What does it do for you?\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":733,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nStrategies for Making Real Changes in Your Life - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Strategies for Making Real Changes in Your Life - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cRabbi, what is that on your wrist?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a Fitbit.\u201d \u201cWhy do you wear it?\u201d \u201cIt tracks how many steps I take each day, the quantity and quality of my sleep, and other important pieces of information.\u201d \u201cC\u2019mon Rabbi, sounds like shtick to me.\u00a0 Do you really need that?\u00a0 What does it do for you?\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-09-20T20:10:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rabbi Efrem Goldberg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rabbi Efrem Goldberg\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/\",\"name\":\"Strategies for Making Real Changes in Your Life - OU Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-09-20T20:10:58+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/b3f7905021c0f2a6e200f7cce16e4710\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/strategies-making-real-changes-life\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/\",\"name\":\"OU Life\",\"description\":\"Everyday Jewish Living\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/b3f7905021c0f2a6e200f7cce16e4710\",\"name\":\"Rabbi Efrem Goldberg\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Efrem-Goldberg_avatar-96x96.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Rabbi-Efrem-Goldberg_avatar-96x96.jpg\",\"caption\":\"Rabbi Efrem Goldberg\"},\"description\":\"Rabbi Efrem Goldberg is the Senior Rabbi of the Boca Raton Synagogue (BRS), a rapidly-growing congregation of over 650 families and over 1,000 children in Boca Raton, Florida. In 2010 Rabbi Goldberg was recognized as one of South Florida's Most Influential Jewish Leaders. He serves as Co-Chair of the Orthodox Rabbinical Board's Va'ad Ha'Kashrus, as Director of the Rabbinical Council of America's South Florida Regional Beis Din for Conversion, and as Posek of the Boca Raton Mikvah. He is also on the Board of Directors of the Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County, Hillel Day School, Torah Academy of Boca Raton, and Friends of the Israel Defense Forces. Additionally, Rabbi Goldberg serves as Vice President of the Rabbinical Council of America and as Chairman of the Orthodox Union Legacy Group and is a member of the AIPAC National Council. Rabbi Goldberg grew up in Teaneck, NJ, attended Yeshivat Kerem B'Yavneh in Israel for two years, graduated from Yeshiva University with a B.A. in psychology, and received Semicha from the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary, Yeshiva University. 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