<\/p>\n
It is the time of year we are reminded of the sin that destroyed the Second Temple: sinat chinam,<\/em> baseless hatred of our fellow Jew. It is during these days that we are asked to focus on achdut<\/em> (unity), shalom (<\/em>peace) and\u00a0v\u2019ahavta l\u2019reicha komocha (<\/em>loving our neighbor).<\/p>\n We all feel compelled to do something, but we may feel like this is a tall order. The trick is starting small: in our own home. We can work on helping our kids get along.<\/p>\n Here are three simple ways to promote unity, peace and love in your own home:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When our kids fight, we often resort to yelling: \u201cStop fighting already!\u201d \u201cCan\u2019t you guys just get along!\u201d The conflict just escalates because we have just entered the fray. It\u2019s best if we stay calm and have some catchy phrases on hand to promote peace. Instead of yelling, try these phrases:<\/p>\n \u201cWe can figure out a solution to this problem!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUse your words not your hands!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s find a way to calm down!\u201d<\/p>\n These phrases invite cooperation and peace. They might not always work, but at the very least they can keep you from joining the argument<\/p>\n Oftentimes in our frustration, we say to our squabbling children: \u201cYou guys are always fighting!\u201d or \u201cYou guys never get along!\u201d<\/p>\n This paints a negative picture of their relationship. If we think about it, they may seem to be constantly at each other\u2019s throats, but every pair of siblings have moments when they do get along. (No, I don\u2019t mean just when they\u2019re sleeping!)<\/p>\n Instead we can be more positive and say:<\/p>\n \u201cI know you guys can get along.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know you can play together nicely.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have seen you share your toys.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The more we focus on our children\u2019s positive behavior, the more positive behavior we are likely to see.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We often hear of the concepts of achdut<\/em>, shalom<\/em> and v\u2019ahavta l\u2019reicha komocha<\/em> in abstract ways, as a way to describe some unattainable character traits. It\u2019s best if we use these words in our home to describe our very normal, human actions.<\/p>\n \u201cYou stuck up for your sister when her friend made fun of her, that is achdut<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou gave up your computer time because your brother has a report due, that\u2019s v\u2019ahavta l\u2019reicha komocha<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou saw your sister was upset and you got her some ice cream, that\u2019s making sure we have shalom bayit<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This works best with younger kids, and though I get a lot of rolled eyes and smirks from my older kids\u2014I still use it with them as well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n We can learn to combat Sinat Chinam, by starting small, using catchy phrases to promote the peace, being positive and giving real life examples of what it means to act on the precepts of achdut<\/em>, shalom<\/em> and and v\u2019ahavta l\u2019reicha komocha<\/em>. It all starts at home.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is the time of year we are reminded of the sin that destroyed the Second Temple: sinat chinam, baseless hatred of our fellow Jew. It is during these days that we are asked to focus on achdut (unity), shalom (peace) and\u00a0v\u2019ahavta l\u2019reicha komocha (loving our neighbor). We all feel compelled to do something,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":720,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n\n
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