{"id":40436,"date":"2015-07-07T08:20:57","date_gmt":"2015-07-07T13:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=40436"},"modified":"2015-07-07T08:50:50","modified_gmt":"2015-07-07T13:50:50","slug":"are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What do you call a doctor\u2019s wife? \u00a0What do you call a lawyer\u2019s wife? What do you call an accountant\u2019s wife?\u00a0 What do you call a rabbi\u2019s wife?<\/p>\n<p>When I first arrived in Edmonton, thirteen years ago, I insisted people call me Batya as opposed to the rebbetzin title that was foisted onto me. I was no rebbetzin \u2013 to me a rebbetzin was a wiser, older woman who devoted her life to the community. I was a financial analyst from New York that happened to marry a rabbi who dragged me out to <em>yehupitz<\/em>! The rabbinate was his calling; it wasn\u2019t mine, or so I thought.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-article.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-40440 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-article.png\" alt=\"women-article\" width=\"300\" height=\"164\" \/><\/a>But, life takes us down certain paths, many of which were never planned or imagined. And so, after a few years working quietly behind the scenes helping out in the spiritual leadership of the shul, I decided to finally embrace my calling and come out of the rabbinic closet. I became more openly involved in the shul\u2019s activities and programs, giving <em>shiurim<\/em> to women, counseling couples, being a chaplain in the hospital, teaching <em>kallah<\/em> classes, preparing girls for their bat mitzvahs, and so on and so forth. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I had become the female clergy-person of Beth Israel Synagogue \u2013 all while still being a financial analyst, mother and wife!<\/p>\n<p>The doctor\u2019s wife is called Mrs. Goldberg, the accountant\u2019s wife is called Mrs. Smith. How did the rabbi\u2019s wife earn an actual, independent title? Rebbetzin \u2013 or in Hebrew, rabbanit \u2013 is the female equivalent of rabbi.\u00a0 It is the feminine form of the word. The rabbinate is the only profession where the wife earns a title equal to her spouse.<\/p>\n<p>But doesn\u2019t one become a rabbi when they\u2019re ordained? \u00a0Yes and no. On the one hand, many people receive <em>semicha<\/em>, but never end up serving in a rabbinic capacity. They end up in medicine or law \u2013 are they still rabbis? On the other hand, you have \u201crabbis\u201d who don\u2019t have <em>semicha<\/em> and are very well entrenched in rabbinic roles, going so far as to use the title \u201crabbi\u201d that they never formally earned \u2013 from school teachers to <em>mashgichim<\/em> to administrators of Jewish institutions.<\/p>\n<p>A piece of paper is not the \u201cbe all and end all\u201d that makes you a rabbi. You become a rabbi through blood, sweat and tears. It\u2019s all those sleepless nights tending to the flock that makes you a rabbi. It\u2019s the house full of Shabbos guests that makes you a rabbi. It\u2019s the family time that gives way to communal activities that makes you a rabbi. It\u2019s the endless flow of <em>shiurim<\/em> and one-on-one learning that makes you a rabbi.<\/p>\n<p>Rebbetzins are not just rabbi\u2019s wives \u2013 they work hard to earn their title. A rebbetzin is the female spiritual leader of the community. If that\u2019s not a female rabbi, what is?\u00a0 And anyone who diminishes the role and title of the rebbetzin is demeaning our beloved heritage.<\/p>\n<p>Every woman who marries a rabbi has the potential to become a rebbetzin. There was a reason that Hashem brought these two people together. They merited each other so that they could both reach their greatest spiritual potential.\u00a0 Some women who marry rabbis do not embrace the role presented to them; they decide not to pursue the opportunity of becoming <em>klei kodesh<\/em>, which is fine and their choice.<\/p>\n<p>Most rebbetzins, however, choose to embrace the role \u2013 in some way, shape or form \u2013 and become the female spiritual leader of their community.<\/p>\n<p>When an Orthodox Jewish man wants to pursue a career in the rabbinate, he has the opportunity to go to rabbinical school. But if a woman wants to work in <em>klei kodesh, <\/em>if she is single or not married to a rabbi, how can she enter the clergy? Today there are many graduate women\u2019s programs available to women who wish to advance their Torah study and\/or enter the service of <em>Klal<\/em><em> Yisrael \u2013 <\/em>from YU\u2019s <em>GPATS <\/em>to Nishmat\u2019s <em>Yoetzet Halacha <\/em>to some of the more controversial programs at the liberal end of the Orthodox spectrum at Lindenbaum, Drisha, Pardes, Maharat and Harel.<\/p>\n<p>It is wonderful and beautiful that Orthodox Jewish women can now pursue a course of study to become <em>klei kodesh. <\/em>Nevertheless, this does not give them the right to discount or denigrate women already serving in the rabbinate, albeit without a piece of paper. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to become rebbetzins,\u201d they say, \u201cthat\u2019s just the rabbi\u2019s wife.\u201d \u00a0Sadly, the campaign to put down the rebbetzin by some of these <em>a la mode <\/em>institutions has at times been so malicious, and rebbetzins have been treated with such contempt, that some incredible rebbetzins themselves have felt the need to pursue course-based \u201cordination\u201d to receive an official title. Why would they, when they are already serving as active clergy, title and all?! \u00a0I am not referring to those rebbetzins who want to further their Torah knowledge and\/or halachic specialization (e.g. <em>Yoetzet, Toenet<\/em>), but to those who feel the need to receive validation for their clergy status.<\/p>\n<p>Rebbetzins don\u2019t need an additional title. \u00a0They need to stand up and take pride in the title they\u2019ve earned through their hard work and dedication. They need to take ownership and acknowledge their vital role, instead of succumbing to institutions that don\u2019t recognize them as female clergy or admit to their contributions. Unfortunately, the shul and the community \u2013 and even sometimes the husbands \u2013 have failed to comprehend their contributions as the female spiritual leader. They too need to appreciate their rebbetzins and be aware of their incredible dedication.<\/p>\n<p>Ever since our matriarch Sarah who \u201cconverted the women\u201d while Avraham \u201cconverted the men,\u201d rebbetzins have always worked in partnership with the rabbis. \u00a0Their roles have evolved over time like all the other female positions and indeed like the role of the rabbi! \u00a0To deny them the sacredness of their role and title is disrespectful and we are only feeding into the chauvinism of the few. \u00a0We need female spiritual leaders. Some women are born rebbetzins, some become rebbetzins when they find their other half, and others deserve the right to choose to become rebbetzins on their own. We need to work together to develop programs that are recognized and accepted across the Orthodox spectrum allowing those women who want to devote their life to <em>klei kodesh<\/em> to receive formal training and learning to earn certification in the holy title of \u201crebbetzin!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you call a doctor\u2019s wife? \u00a0What do you call a lawyer\u2019s wife? What do you call an accountant\u2019s wife?\u00a0 What do you call a rabbi\u2019s wife? When I first arrived in Edmonton, thirteen years ago, I insisted people call me Batya as opposed to the rebbetzin title that was foisted onto me. I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":133077,"featured_media":40442,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What do you call a doctor\u2019s wife? \u00a0What do you call a lawyer\u2019s wife? What do you call an accountant\u2019s wife?\u00a0 What do you call a rabbi\u2019s wife? When I first arrived in Edmonton, thirteen years ago, I insisted people call me Batya as opposed to the rebbetzin title that was foisted onto me. I\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-07-07T13:20:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-07-07T13:50:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"324\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"177\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Batya Friedman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Batya Friedman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/\",\"name\":\"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-07-07T13:20:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-07-07T13:50:50+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/ead5954043a2970a5c070fafa87b51ac\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png\",\"width\":324,\"height\":177},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/\",\"name\":\"OU Life\",\"description\":\"Everyday Jewish Living\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/ead5954043a2970a5c070fafa87b51ac\",\"name\":\"Batya Friedman\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b0e41b9911a1166281dd9f0e7820f782524f6ca48fd629dc0b2f55bf2a8efa?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b0e41b9911a1166281dd9f0e7820f782524f6ca48fd629dc0b2f55bf2a8efa?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Batya Friedman\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/batya-friedman\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life","og_description":"What do you call a doctor\u2019s wife? \u00a0What do you call a lawyer\u2019s wife? What do you call an accountant\u2019s wife?\u00a0 What do you call a rabbi\u2019s wife? When I first arrived in Edmonton, thirteen years ago, I insisted people call me Batya as opposed to the rebbetzin title that was foisted onto me. I","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/","og_site_name":"OU Life","article_published_time":"2015-07-07T13:20:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-07-07T13:50:50+00:00","og_image":[{"width":324,"height":177,"url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Batya Friedman","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Batya Friedman","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/","name":"Are Rebbetzins an Endangered Species? - OU Life","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png","datePublished":"2015-07-07T13:20:57+00:00","dateModified":"2015-07-07T13:50:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/ead5954043a2970a5c070fafa87b51ac"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/are-rebbetzins-an-endangered-species\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/women-featured.png","width":324,"height":177},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/","name":"OU Life","description":"Everyday Jewish Living","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/ead5954043a2970a5c070fafa87b51ac","name":"Batya Friedman","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b0e41b9911a1166281dd9f0e7820f782524f6ca48fd629dc0b2f55bf2a8efa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b0e41b9911a1166281dd9f0e7820f782524f6ca48fd629dc0b2f55bf2a8efa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Batya Friedman"},"url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/batya-friedman\/"}]}},"acf":[],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/133077"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40436"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40443,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40436\/revisions\/40443"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}