![\"rabboGoldberg_darchei\"](\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/rabboGoldberg_darchei-300x204.png\")
Dr. Yitzchak Goldberg doesn’t want you to make an error when it comes to dealing with children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), or with any children for that matter. <\/p>\nDr. Yitzchak Goldberg doesn’t want you to make an error when it comes to dealing with children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), or with any children for that matter. <\/p>\n
\u201cIf we think that our children aren’t good listeners, then there\u2019s nothing we can do about it,\u201d he told a crowd that gathered to listen to him at the Orthodox Union headquarters. \u201cOne of the misconceptions of children with ADHD is we have to tolerate them or work around them, but the truth is they can be amazing. We just need to structure things in the right way to appeal to their strength and create a certain environment where they will be successful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Goldberg, a school psychologist, is the middle school principal of Far Rockaway\u2019s Yeshiva Darchei Torah and the co-director of the Diamond Program, an evidence-based summer program that treats children with ADHD and other behavioral issues. He delivered a wide-ranging presentation to two-dozen attendees on April 28 in a lecture sponsored by the Orthodox Union\u2019s division Community Engagement division and Yachad, the National Jewish Council for Disabilities. The event was also broadcast via webinar to Jewish parents from more than 80 communities across the United States, Canada and Israel.<\/p>\n
In an informative hour-and-half-long presentation Dr. Goldberg taught parents strategies for dealing with children with behavioral issues, from larger issues like oppositional defiance disorder to smaller ones like getting a child to stop complaining. In the first few minutes, Dr. Goldberg struck an optimistic tone about ADHD. There are two types of attention deficits, Dr. Goldberg explained, one where a child is paying attention to everything and loses sight of the task at hand, and the second, where a child has a generalized weak attention. Each attention difficulty, he said, can be worked with. <\/p>\n
Parents, he advised, \u201chave to be ER doctors\u2026 You have to have a good skill in reading situations why this behavior is happening so you\u2019re equipped to respond.\u201d <\/p>\n
Throughout the lecture, Dr. Goldberg discussed a framework for understanding why behaviors happen in general through understanding the situations in which they occur and what reinforcements are causing the behaviors to occur. Reinforcement, Dr. Goldberg explained, \u201cmeans making behavior stronger.\u201d Positive reinforcement is the addition of something to make the behavior happen again and negative reinforcement is the removal of something to make the behavior happen again. <\/p>\n
Peppering his conversation with examples from his own experience, Dr. Goldberg stated that \u201c80 percent of misbehavior in a school setting is negative reinforcement\u2026 It\u2019s kids trying to get out of work.\u201d <\/p>\n
The last two segments of the presentation were devoted to praising children correctly and issuing effective commands. He advocated praise-drills where parents should practice how to praise correctly. <\/p>\n
\u201cParents are great at noticing when a child is doing wrong,\u201d but he said, they need to work on noticing children doing things right. <\/p>\n
Praise, he explained, must focus on the behavior, be directed towards something specific and connected with emotion and a value that a parent wants to stress. If used correctly praised can build resilience and a child\u2019s motivation as well as strengthen the bond between family members. Instead of praising a child\u2019s natural aptitude, like intelligence, Dr. Goldberg recommended praising a child\u2019s work ethic, since that will build a child\u2019s ability to persevere even in the face of more difficult challenges. <\/p>\n
Somewhat controversially, when a parent issues a command, he or she should not say thank-you or please. <\/p>\n
\u201cPlease communicates that I have an option,\u201d Dr. Goldberg said, \u201cThank-you is not praise.\u201d <\/p>\n
When used effectively, Dr. Goldberg said that commands create a circle of reinforcement where a child receives praise for listening and then more praise for following through the command.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe goal is to get the child to listen better and allow you to praise and reinforce him more for listening,\u201d Dr. Goldberg said. <\/p>\n
Liba Neuman, a school psychologist and parent, said she would definitely use the techniques she learned.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m big into analyzing child behavior and I\u2019m going to be looking into more research,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n
Rebbetzin Judi Steinig, associate director of community affairs for the Orthodox Union, said that large interest for the presentation tied into a need in the Jewish community. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt shows how widespread the challenge of ADHD is in the Orthodox Jewish community and the eagerness of parents and professionals to find effective strategies to address it,\u201d she explained. \u201cThe Orthodox Union is truly appreciative to Dr. Goldberg for sharing his time and professional skills with us.\u201d<\/p>\n