{"id":39573,"date":"2015-05-04T12:23:55","date_gmt":"2015-05-04T17:23:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=39573"},"modified":"2015-05-04T12:37:48","modified_gmt":"2015-05-04T17:37:48","slug":"from-a-first-time-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/from-a-first-time-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"From a First-Time Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"birthday<\/a>
Celebrating our daughter’s first birthday.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019m a first-time mom, a title I proudly wear.<\/p>\n

We celebrated my daughter\u2019s birthday this past March. It\u2019s been an amazing year.<\/p>\n

This child\u2014who spent her first five weeks of life attached to wires and monitors, under the careful watch of neonatologist specialists\u2014has grown as a happy, curious child engaged in the world around her.<\/p>\n

My husband and I have celebrated each new development\u2014smiling from recognition, hearing her laugh, sitting up (propped by pillows), sitting up (not propped by pillows), wiggling backwards, inching forwards, ever exploring the world around her for the first time, second time, third time\u2026 (by now it may be the 50th<\/sup> time) yet so new each day.<\/p>\n

\"Dassy<\/a>
My daughter’s first day in this world.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Her first weeks of life she remained in the hospital while her neurological system caught up to her physical adjustments\u2014born five weeks early, she hadn\u2019t quite developed the sense of suck\/swallow\/breathe and would forget the third part of the process during feedings and at times during her sleep; and while only lasting seconds at a time, my husband and I were rigorously trained on what to look for should these oxygen desaturations ever occur once baby came home. Thankfully, they never reoccurred upon her discharge.<\/p>\n

The silver lining to that experience is that the neonatal intensive care unit taught us how to care for our daughter. We learned how to nurse her and give a bottle, how to bathe her and change her diapers, how to dress her and pick up on her personality preferences. When she was discharged, as her parents, we felt we had a handle on the situation\u2014until the next week when she went through a feeding frenzy and growth spurt we hadn\u2019t been alerted for.<\/p>\n

With no family in our immediate vicinity, my husband and I depended on each other.\u00a0 We both come from small families and have no married siblings, so entering parenthood has been a journey we are leading on our own. The pediatrician\u2019s number is on speed dial and is used generously. And while we\u2019ve read books and asked advice from family and friends, nothing prepares you for parenthood other than experiencing life yourself.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
A healthy appetite on a normal day.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We\u2019ve experienced teething episodes that left my daughter waking often and cranky in the middle of the night.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through fevers that made us extra cautious about how to dress her, what to feed her, how to handle her. Bad colds that left her needing a little extra TLC, and messy diapers that left us needing a little extra TLC.<\/p>\n

Last week my baby got sick with a stomach bug for the first time, and it pained me. Sure, a cold is uncomfortable\u2014but this time I felt pain<\/em> for my daughter. Her eyes would become red and teary as she gagged on her little nibbles of typically favored delights. Poor little girl couldn\u2019t keep food down, but thankfully tolerated fluids. She wasn\u2019t sleeping the same. Her stomach hurt her, as we could tell by the way she cried until she had some flatulent relief. This was a new realm we entered.<\/p>\n

We felt helpless, vulnerable and insecure of how to care for her.<\/p>\n

And while the doctor wasn\u2019t overly concerned\u2014\u201cthese things don\u2019t usually last long,\u201d she calmly advised two days into the bug\u2014we needed more direction. \u00a0Another two days later, as symptoms subsided, we brought her back erev Shabbos for another consultation. We were to go away for the weekend, was it still okay to do?<\/p>\n

The doctor saw our daughter as on the upswing and advised as long as we kept her away from other babies, we could go away.<\/p>\n

Sure enough, 4:30 p.m. on Friday her fever broke and we gave her medicine. She was herself again and even fell asleep at a relatively decent hour, but woke twice in the middle of the night with such screams we debated taking her to the hospital. We realized they were gas pains, but she felt very warm so we decide to dispense medicine again.<\/p>\n

Shabbos afternoon the bug flared up again, with new symptoms and we didn\u2019t know what to do. \u00a0We were unable to locate a pediatrician. She wasn\u2019t keeping food down. She was crying out in pain. She sounded congested.<\/p>\n

It may all have been routine symptoms of a stomach bug, but we had nothing to gauge it all against.<\/p>\n

Hours later we met a pediatrician we are familiar with in the neighborhood, surrounded by her friends before a shiur. I approached her with my concerns, and while this individual was able to calm me and suggest things I could keep in mind to care for my daughter, next to her the ladies commented to me, \u201cOh what a first time mother\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019ll see\u2014by the time you have your seventh you won\u2019t react like this anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead of laughing at my concerns, I would have appreciated being validated as a first-time parent that new experiences can be distressing, even if the event is minor in the bigger picture of this child\u2019s wellbeing. Even if I was being overly sensitive to their remarks, remind me that with time, I will feel more secure and knowledgeable as I care for my child, as I have been since she was born. Offer advice from a caring, \u201cbeen-there, although many years ago\u201d mom perspective. If God gave you the gift of a child, you were once a first-time mom too.<\/p>\n

The world of caring for a child is a new development for my husband and myself, especially when the child isn’t feeling well. And until it becomes the 50th<\/sup> time for experiencing something for us, it will still feel new each time. \u00a0If the doctor doesn\u2019t tell me about a potential reaction my child might have to a certain medication, my \u201cmotherly instinct\u201d won\u2019t know that.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re doing our best to care for our child.<\/p>\n

I would think that\u2019s what any parent wants to be reminded. Whether the child is your first or your seventh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a first-time mom, a title I proudly wear. We celebrated my daughter\u2019s birthday this past March. It\u2019s been an amazing year. 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