In the past couple of parshas we read about Moshe, Aaron and Miriam caring for one another and working together. It is a beautiful example of what siblings can do if they get along!<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, as most parents know, siblings don\u2019t always get along. Most siblings fight; they roughhouse, tease and belittle each other. In an effort to promote harmony we might say things like: \u201cHow would you like it if your sister hit or teased you?\u201d<\/p>\n
But the question doesn\u2019t generally work with kids. It makes them feel as if they are being attacked and it doesn\u2019t help them generate feelings of empathy for their siblings. The only answer kids can give to that question will implicate themselves and force them to admit their guilt. Kids and even adults have a hard time doing that. To help children develop empathy for others, and truly understand how another person feels, it is better to use the phrase, \u201cI am sure you can imagine\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
For example:<\/p>\n
Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n How would you like it if you got a bad grade and your brother made fun of you?<\/p>\n Try:<\/strong><\/p>\n I am sure you can imagine how angry and hurt you would be if you got a bad grade and your brother made fun of you.<\/p>\n Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n How dare you hit your sister! How would you like it if someone hit you?<\/p>\n Try this:<\/strong><\/p>\n Getting hit hurts us and makes us angry. I am sure you can imagine the pain you would feel if someone hit you.<\/p>\n Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n Stop making fun of your sister that she was not invited to her friend\u2019s party. How would you like it if you weren\u2019t invited to a party?<\/p>\n Try this:<\/strong><\/p>\n I am sure you can imagine how alone you would feel if you were the only one of your friends not invited to a party.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When we are managing the sibling rivalry in our home we need to use gentle tactics. We can teach our children to put themselves in another person\u2019s shoes and feel what their siblings are feeling. However, we want to do it a way where we avoid putting our kids on the defensive. Then they have a better chance of empathizing with their siblings.\u00a0Using the phrase, \u201cI am sure you can imagine\u201d is one of the best and simplest ways to do this.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Source: Faber, A., Mazlish, E. (1999). How To Talk So Kids Will Listen. NY: Harper Collins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In the past couple of parshas we read about Moshe, Aaron and Miriam caring for one another and working together. It is a beautiful example of what siblings can do if they get along! Unfortunately, as most parents know, siblings don\u2019t always get along. Most siblings fight; they roughhouse, tease and belittle each other. In<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":720,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38890","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\n