When I was in third grade, I had a teacher who taught us how to accept a compliment. \u201cDon\u2019t squirm,\u201d she would say. \u201cLook the person in the eye, and say thank-you.\u201d<\/p>\n
While this was wise advice, I don\u2019t recall any teacher telling us how to take an insult. The Chovos HaLevavos<\/em> does (Sha\u2019ar Bitachon 3): When someone insults you causing you pain, you should turn your eyes heavenward and say, \u201cThank you, Hashem, for revealing a few of my many flaws.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I am to recognize that the words said by that man, were meant for me to hear. The one who spoke was the messenger, sent by Hashem.<\/p>\n Looking at life from this perspective is transformative. People shrink down to size. Hurtful words lose their sting. I get it\u2014it all comes from Hashem. Obviously, I don\u2019t get angry. How could I get angry? You didn\u2019t hurt me; you didn\u2019t insult me\u2014you are just the puppet mouthing the words. There was Someone behind the scenes pulling the strings.<\/em><\/p>\n Punching the loudspeaker<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Imagine that I am speaking to a large audience, and because of the size of the crowd, I am using a microphone. I go through my presentation, point by point, and then suddenly I stop. I stare directly at you sitting in the audience. Then, I turn red in the face, point my finger at you, and start yelling: \u201cYou are a good-for-nothing, lowly, worthless bum. I didn\u2019t know such foul people even exist!\u201d And, I proceed to call you every name in the book.<\/p>\n How would you react? I would imagine that you would be incensed. \u201cI can\u2019t believe he did that!\u201d you might say to yourself. \u201cHe insulted me. He ripped me to shreds\u2014in public, no less. What right did he have to do that?\u201d Now imagine that you got so angry, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You stand up, walk over to the loudspeaker, and smash your fist right into the subwoofer.<\/p>\n That would be a foolish reaction. If you were to punch me, we could debate whether that\u2019s clever. But punching the loudspeaker doesn\u2019t make any sense. The loudspeaker didn\u2019t insult you\u2014I did.<\/p>\n That is what the Chovos HaLevavos<\/em> is teaching us. No man can harm me. If you yell at me, if you call me names, if you embarrass me\u2014I am supposed to understand that those words are meant for me to hear. They are being directed by Hashem right to me. You are nothing but the loudspeaker. So I am supposed to turn my eyes heavenward, acknowledge the source of the message and say, \u201cThank you, Hashem, for revealing a few of my many flaws.\u201d<\/p>\n No one can help you either<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n But there is also a flip side\u2014no one can help me either.<\/p>\n If I were destined to struggle financially, the wealthiest man in the world can\u2019t change that decree. If I was slated to be sick, my uncle could be the head of Oncology at Sloan Kettering\u2014there\u2019s nothing that he can do for me. Hashem metes out pain and suffering in a very measured and defined manner\u2014and no one can interfere.<\/p>\n People don\u2019t make me rich. Connections don\u2019t help me get ahead. My business acumen doesn\u2019t make me wealthy. If I am supposed to get that money, it will come from this pipeline or from that one. If I\u2019m not supposed to have that money, it may come in here, but I will eventually lose it. No one can change Hashem\u2019s decree. Across the full spectrum of the human experience, Hashem is directly and intimately involved in the running of our lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I was in third grade, I had a teacher who taught us how to accept a compliment. \u201cDon\u2019t squirm,\u201d she would say. \u201cLook the person in the eye, and say thank-you.\u201d While this was wise advice, I don\u2019t recall any teacher telling us how to take an insult. The Chovos HaLevavos does (Sha\u2019ar Bitachon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":132836,"featured_media":37954,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n