{"id":37276,"date":"2014-08-14T13:47:27","date_gmt":"2014-08-14T13:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=37276"},"modified":"2014-08-20T16:49:50","modified_gmt":"2014-08-20T16:49:50","slug":"lone-soldier-parents-balance-pride-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/lone-soldier-parents-balance-pride-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Lone Soldier Parents: A Balance of Pride and Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"David
David Joshua “DJ” Newman, at his beret ceremony<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

While the current ceasefire brings the battle between Israel and Hamas to another tenuous halt, 6,000 miles away, American parents of IDF \u201clone soldiers\u201d continue to hold their breath.<\/p>\n

According to the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, of the approximately 5,000 lone soldiers serving in the IDF, close to half are American boys. 40 percent of these volunteer soldiers serve in combat units, leaving their parents \u2013 thousands of miles away \u2013 glued to the news by day, and losing sleep at night.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said that he wanted to protect the people of Israel,\u201d says Rabbi Kenneth Brander, vice president for university and community life at Yeshiva University quoting his son, Yosef Dov, 19, an IDF lone soldier in his sixth month of basic training. \u201cHe felt that just because he was born in America, it didn\u2019t exempt him from that responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

His parents didn\u2019t take the news of his desire to enlist lightly; it surprised them. \u201cHe\u2019s not a rough and tough kind of boy who gets excited about guns and war,\u201d says Rabbi Brander. \u201cHe\u2019s very studious and talks about feelings; he has a poet\u2019s soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

Their son presented a convincing case. \u201cIt was an emotional discussion,\u201d says Ruchie Brander, an occupational therapist and mother of five. \u201cAs parents, we\u2019d all like to know our kids are safe in their beds at night and we can tuck them in \u2013 forever if we could.\u201d The Branders came to admire their son\u2019s sense of duty. \u201cHe was (essentially) integrating the values we taught him,\u201d says Ruchie. \u201cHe was making good choices; ones we needed to respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yosef Dov enlisted in the army\u2019s Machal Hesder<\/em> program, intended for religious students who, although not Israeli citizens, wish to serve. The program incorporates IDF service with yeshiva studies over a 21-month period of commitment. Entry into combat units requires preliminary psychological, fitness and Hebrew language tests. He passed them all. After completing a year and a half at Yeshivat Har Etzion, he went straight to basic training.<\/p>\n

\u201cI give him and other lone soldiers so much credit,\u201d says Ruchie. \u201cIf you grow up in Israel, you get a letter in the mail letting you know when to show up for the appointment; your family drives you there. Yosef Dov made the appointment, went to it on his own, followed up the meeting, and made sure all his paperwork was in. He made this decision at such a young age, and was active in the decision every step of the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Branders deal with their worry differently. Ruchie admits to being a news junkie; her husband avoids the newscasts, preferring to talk about the situation with others. They both turn to G-d, often. \u201cI have an ongoing dialogue with Hashem. There are fears you can talk out loud about and those that keep you up at night. That\u2019s just for you and HaKadosh Baruch Hu<\/em>. That\u2019s how I cope.\u201d<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, she\u2019s grateful he\u2019s still in training. \u201cIf it were up to me, he would stay in training his whole army service. But, there\u2019s another mother whose son is in one of those tunnels. My tefillot<\/em> also go to those parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Danny and Susan Newman of Teaneck are recipients of those prayers. Their son, David Joshua (known as \u201cDJ\u201d), 21, is a commander of a squad in the Golani Brigade, a group that has sustained the most fatalities and injuries during Operation Protective Shield. The fact that their eldest son passed away six years ago made the decision to allow their son (the only living child) to enlist nearly impossible.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe came to the realization that we don\u2019t control anything. Hashem does,\u201d says Danny, a lawyer and former IDF lone soldier who fought in the Lebanon war back in the early 1980\u2019s. The Newmans acceded to their son\u2019s wish to enroll.<\/p>\n

During his son\u2019s active duty in Gaza, Danny came to appreciate the stress his parents endured during his deployment. \u201cI was told that my mother would sit at the Shabbos table [fraught with worry] with a thousand-yard stare.\u201d He recently called her to apologize. \u201cI told her I didn\u2019t realize what I put you through. It\u2019s a lot worse when you\u2019re the parent. While we\u2019d love to wrap our children up in bubble wrap and put them safe and sound in their room, at the end of the day, it\u2019s not our life, it\u2019s theirs.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lone soldier parents watch their children grow up quickly.<\/p>\n

\"Natan<\/a>
Natan Tzvi (Nati) Wind
“It’s not just about me.”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ofra Wind, an IDF mother, also from Teaneck, sees a marked change in her son, Natan Tzvi (Nati). \u201cI see a more serious 21 year-old. He came home with more of an understanding of what his purpose is in the bigger scheme of life. \u2018It\u2019s not just about me,\u2019 he said. They move into adulthood overnight; they become responsible for a nation.\u201d<\/p>\n

And for each other.<\/p>\n

When Yosef Dov explained the rigors of completing basic training to his parents, he spoke of trekking straight up Mount Hermon, a steep incline. He emphasized that you\u2019re not supposed to talk throughout the exercise. \u201cJust when you think you\u2019re not going to make it through, you feel the hand of the guy behind you pushing you up, giving you that extra help,\u201d he told his parents. \u201cAnd then you put your hand on the guy in front of you to help him<\/em>. When it\u2019s your turn to carry a stretcher [loaded with weight to simulate a human body] and you think to yourself, \u2018I can\u2019t do this!\u2019 But, if I say, \u2018switch\u2019 I know someone else is going to have to take up that burden \u2013 so I\u2019ll hold it a little longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ruchie thought, after experiencing the terror of battle, her son would second-guess his decision. Not so. \u201cEarly on, he told us that at every stage of your life you have a commitment to serve Am Yisrael. \u2018Am Yisrael needs me right now, he said. I can serve Am Yisrael in a way I won\u2019t be able to in twenty years.\u2019<\/p>\n

Apparently, this sense of loyalty runs strong (and early on) in every lone soldier. In 2006, in the middle of Kabbalat Shabbat, at Nati\u2019s bar mitzvah celebration in Zichron Yaakov, a siren went off, signaling another attack from Lebanon. Huddled in the shelter, Nati turned to his mother and said, \u201cI\u2019m not doing this when I\u2019m eighteen; I\u2019m going to make sure it\u2019s safe for Jews.\u201d Nati, along with 5,000 lone soldiers, are unhesitatingly keeping that promise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While the current ceasefire brings the battle between Israel and Hamas to another tenuous halt, 6,000 miles away, American parents of IDF \u201clone soldiers\u201d continue to hold their breath. According to the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, of the approximately 5,000 lone soldiers serving in the IDF, close to half are American boys. 40 percent of these<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":37287,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nLone Soldier Parents: A Balance of Pride and Fear - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The perspective of American parents of their sons serving in the Israeli army as lone soldiers\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/lone-soldier-parents-balance-pride-fear\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lone Soldier Parents: A Balance of Pride and Fear - 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