{"id":34359,"date":"2014-01-02T21:56:47","date_gmt":"2014-01-02T21:56:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=34359"},"modified":"2014-01-02T22:20:11","modified_gmt":"2014-01-02T22:20:11","slug":"teaching-kids-deal-bullies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/teaching-kids-deal-bullies\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Your Kids How To Deal With Bullies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TeachingIn this week\u2019s Parsha, Moshe could not stand by and watch his Jewish brothers suffering. He took matters into his own hands, he stood up to a bully.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It seems as if there always was and unfortunately there always will be bullies. We are often concerned about our children being bullied by others. There are some simple ways we can fortify our children against bullying.<\/p>\n

Bullies are looking for angry, defensive and apathetic responses. We can teach our kids some healthy ways to communicate so that they can extricate themselves from these potentially harmful interactions. We want to teach children that language is their best defense against bullies. Here are some escape tactics that we can teach our children:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Bullying comment<\/b><\/td>\n\u00a0Response Tactic<\/b><\/td>\nExample of Response Tactic<\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u201cYou’re so ugly\u201d<\/td>\nAssertive Statement:<\/td>\nIn a strong voice: \u201cLeave me alone\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u201cYou’re so stupid\u201d<\/td>\nNegative Assertions: Agree with the weakness and expand on it.<\/td>\n\u201c I know and this is a good day for me!\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a baby\u201d<\/td>\nNeutral Responses:<\/td>\n\u201cThanks for letting me know\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re the worst soccer player ever\u201d<\/td>\nCrazy Response: This disarms the bully because an angry response is what they expected. Use these judiciously.<\/td>\n\u201cNo, I have enough pencils for class today!\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\u201cYou are so smelly\u201d<\/td>\n\u201cI\u201d statements: (These should be used with people who the child still wants to maintain a relationship with. That is usually not the case with a bully.)<\/td>\n\u201cI don\u2019t like when you talk to me that way!\u201d \u201cThat hurts my feelings!\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

However, we don’t want to just fortify our kids against bullies. What if there is a bullying sibling at home? We need to help the bullies as well.\u00a0 Bullies should also be taught how to communicate more effectively. They have learned to bully by being bullied themselves. As parents if we see one of our children bullying another we can teach them the following skills:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Perspective-taking skills: \u201cI am sure you can imagine how it feels to be called wimpy- I bet you can see how that can hurt.\u201d<\/li>\n
  2. Show them gently what they have done wrong: \u201cI am sure you didn’t mean to hurt your brothers feelings. Making fun of him in front of his friends was hurtful.\u201d<\/li>\n
  3. Have them make amends by doing something kind for the child being bullied:\u00a0\u201cYou might want to do something nice for your brother. He was pretty upset when you took his computer time.\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. Teach them mediation and problem solving skills: \u201cOne of you wants to play basketball and one of you wants to play baseball.. Can you figure out a solution? Can you do that without calling each other names?\u201d<\/li>\n
  5. Make sure to leave their dignity intact. Focus on the negative behavior and don\u2019t attack the child: \u201cI love you, the problem is I don’t like when you call your siblings \u201cstupid\u201d or \u201cdumb.\u201d I know you can figure out a way to get what you need without name calling.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    In this week\u2019s Parsha, Moshe could not stand by and watch his Jewish brothers suffering. He took matters into his own hands, he stood up to a bully. It seems as if there always was and unfortunately there always will be bullies. We are often concerned about our children being bullied by others. There are<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":720,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nTeaching Your Kids How To Deal With Bullies - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/teaching-kids-deal-bullies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Teaching Your Kids How To Deal With Bullies - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In this week\u2019s Parsha, Moshe could not stand by and watch his Jewish brothers suffering. He took matters into his own hands, he stood up to a bully. It seems as if there always was and unfortunately there always will be bullies. We are often concerned about our children being bullied by others. 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