{"id":33604,"date":"2013-10-02T18:55:08","date_gmt":"2013-10-02T18:55:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=33604"},"modified":"2013-10-02T18:55:08","modified_gmt":"2013-10-02T18:55:08","slug":"dinner-without-whine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/dinner-without-whine\/","title":{"rendered":"Dinner Without the Whine"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pouty<\/a>I was with my friend and her family the other day. Her daughter whined, \u201cMommeeee, I want to go home.\u201d She said, \u201cAllie can you change your voice, can you ask in a regular voice for what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

In an instant, Sara restated her request in a non-whiny voice. She said in a grown up way, \u201cMommy, I want to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Whining is one of those behaviors that drives parent\u2019s crazy.Whining is one of those behaviors that drives parent\u2019s crazy. The best way to stop the whining is to do what Sara\u2019s Mom did. I liked her approach a lot. Instead of saying to Sara, \u201cStop whining!\u201d she had taught Allie how to modulate her voice and that she was capable of improving her behavior.<\/p>\n

If that doesn\u2019t work for you, there are other effective ways that we can help kids to stop whining.<\/p>\n

We can:<\/p>\n

1. Name their feelings:<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cSara, it seems like you want my attention. That voice that you are using lets me know that you need me right now. Can you use your regular voice to say, \u201cMommy, I need your attention!\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Gently tell your kids whining bothers you:<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cThat voice is hurting my ears. It is hard for me to hear you when you use that voice.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Declare \u201cwhine free\u201d zones:<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cToday we are going to \u2018Fun and Stuff\u2019. In order for us to have a good day, we need to know that there will be no whining. If you need to whine, save it for tomorrow when we are at home.\u201d<\/p>\n

If they do whine at \u201cFun and Stuff\u201d, you can say, \u201cRemember today is a \u201cwhine free\u201d day. Tomorrow is when I can listen to whining. Today you have to use a regular voice the whole day.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Catch them being good:<\/b><\/p>\n

When they are not whining, praise them for using a regular voice:<\/p>\n

Instead of:<\/p>\n

\u201cFinally you guys are talking normally and not spending the whole time in the car whining!\u201d<\/p>\n

Try:<\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate that you are using your regular voice. It is a pleasure to be in this car!\u201d<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 Play \u201cGet the Whinies Out\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

When your child is cranky, either tired, hungry or both, you can help them let off steam by letting them whine for a specific amount of time.<\/p>\n

You can say:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou seem so sad and you need a way to get all your whinies out. How many whines do you think you need, 4 or 5?\u201d<\/p>\n

Let them whine for that many times,<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, you have 5 whines! Let\u2019s make them good ones! You want to make sure you get all of the crankiness out of you! Let\u2019s get started now!\u201d<\/p>\n

After about 2-3 parent supervised whines they have had enough and\u00a0 there good mood is often restored.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

6. Give yourself a break:<\/b><\/p>\n

I know that sometimes I can handle massive doses of whining and other times even the slightest squeak can send me over the edge. Make sure you let your kids know what kind of mood your in:<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now I can\u2019t listen to any whining at all. Please change your voice or ask for what you need in writing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Whining is tough to handle. It can rattle even the most effective parents. The suggestions above can help you limit the amount of whining you need to deal with in your home.<\/p>\n

Adina Soclof<\/strong>, MS. CCC-SLP,\u00a0works as a Parent Educator for Bellefaire Jewish Children\u2019s Bureau facilitating\u00a0<\/em>How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk\u00a0workshops as well as workshops based on\u00a0<\/em>Siblings Without Rivalry. Adina also runs\u00a0parentingsimply.com<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whining is one of those behaviors that drives parent\u2019s crazy. The best way to stop the whining is not by telling your kids to \u201cStop whining!\u201d but rather to teach your kids how to modulate their voices to act in a more mature fashion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":720,"featured_media":33616,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nDinner Without the Whine - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/dinner-without-whine\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dinner Without the Whine - OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whining is one of those behaviors that drives parent\u2019s crazy. 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