![\"shush](\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000002262097Small1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nThe problem with talker education is that the talkers know talking in shul is wrong; they just don\u2019t care. Sometimes you get lucky and you shush someone who really does care and just slipped. For the most part, however, when you shush a talker, all you accomplish is creating a confrontation. This also leads to what I call \u201cThe Cycle of Shush.\u201d<\/p>\n
What\u2019s The Cycle of Shush? You see, most people are human. As such, they tend to slip up from time to time. Even those who are generally careful not to talk in shul may make an occasional mistake. Talkers take great pleasure in shushing a shusher. What ends up happening is the shusher shushes the talker, the talker shushes the shusher, and you end up with an endless shush cycle of shushers shushing talkers shushing shushers. (While all this is going on, others are probably still talking.) Not only can shushing be as disturbing as talking, it becomes a game of one-upmanship. The shushers want to \u201cwin\u201d so much that they\u2019ve forgotten their original goal: to create an environment conducive to harmonious communal prayer. A shush-war can be many things, but harmonious it ain\u2019t.<\/p>\n
There are many reasons not to talk in shul. It\u2019s disrespectful to G-d. It\u2019s discourteous to others. It\u2019s bad education for children. It defeats the purpose of going to shul in the first place. Shushers generally feel that they are standing up for the sanctity of the synagogue but if they know in advance that their actions are going to exacerbate the situation, a new course of action may be called for.<\/p>\n
As a recovering shusher, I have modified my modus operandi. I no longer shush at the first sign of talking; I wait until it actually becomes a distraction to others. I try not to shush individuals, preferring instead to issue a quiet, general \u201cshhhhh\u2026.\u201d\u00a0While talking is not permitted at any time during the service, I have learned to be more patient during, say, the \u201cKeil Maleh<\/em>\u201d prayers on Shabbos afternoons than during Torah reading or the repetition of Shemoneh Esrei<\/em> (which is the central prayer of the daily services). I don\u2019t think that my more laid-back approach to shushing implies a tacit approval of some forms of talking, I think it\u2019s merely a more realistic approach. If one chooses his battles, he may be taken more seriously than if he knee-jerk shushes at every syllable uttered by another.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not saying that my personal approach is for everyone. Hopefully, shul rabbis and gabbaim will set appropriate tones for their congregations. (As an aside, too much down time in shul leads to talking. If the davening keeps moving, there will be less talking.) What I\u2019m suggesting is that those who shush do so with common sense. \u201cShushing with seichel,\u201d as it were. You can\u2019t control everyone\u2019s actions, but you can control your own. And, in a reversal of Hillel\u2019s famous dictum, treat yourself as you would others. If you do slip up and talk, causing yourself to get shushed, accept it gracefully. Don\u2019t enter into a Cycle of Shush.<\/p>\n If we\u2019re aware of our own actions, we can break the Cycle of Shush, which can be as bad as the talking that inspired it. In this way, perhaps, we can help to improve the decorum of our synagogues and not inadvertently become a part of the problem we originally sought to resolve.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n **************** Talking in shul is not a new problem. Rabbi Yom Tov Lipman Heller, author of the commentary on the Mishna called Tosafos Yom Tov, dealt with this situation in the 17th century. He attributed pogroms and other catastrophes of 1648 and 1649 to misconduct in the synagogue. In response, he encouraged people to be much more careful in this area and he composed a prayer for those who sincerely tried to be diligent.<\/p>\n Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan, the Chofetz Chaim, asked why Rabbi Heller attributed these tragedies to talking in shul, out of all possible sins. In response, he cited the Mishna in Pirkei Avos (\u201cEthics of the Fathers\u201d) that every mitzvah creates a \u201cdefense angel\u201d and every sin creates a \u201cprosecuting angel.\u201d Other, seemingly \u201clarger\u201d sins are quiet, therefore their associated \u201cprosecutors\u201d are silent. Talking in shul is loud, so it creates a noisy prosecutor against us!<\/p>\n ***********************<\/p>\n The Talmud cites the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael ben Elazar that one of the sins for which people die is treating the synagogue lightly. For example, they call it a \u201cbeis am\u201d (a community center) and treat it like a place to gather socially, rather than for prayer and other holy purposes. (Brachos 32a)<\/p>\n *********************** The Mishnah Brurah continues to tell us that gossip, slander and controversy \u2013 all bad enough on their own \u2013 are magnified in a holy place, such as a shul or a study hall. This is because it\u2019s an affront to G-d\u2019s honor. It\u2019s one thing to have a fight with a friend \u2013 that\u2019s bad enough. It\u2019s worse to have a screaming match in the palace, in front of the King. (See Orach Chaim 151:1 and Mishnah Brurah there.) ***************** If there are such limitations on when we can answer Kaddish, Barchu, Modim and other important tefillos, doesn\u2019t it follow that there are even greater restrictions on saying things that are not part of the prayer service?<\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n \u201cA person may not engage in conversation during the repetition of the Amidah. If one speaks at this time, he sins, his sin is too great to bear, and he must be reprimanded.\u201d (Orach Chaim 124:7)<\/p>\n \u201cWoe to people who carry on conversations during prayer, for we have seen many synagogues destroyed because of this sin\u2026\u201d (Mishnah Brurah\u2019s commentary on the above.)<\/p>\n ***************** <\/p>\n Even your shul<\/em> can put a stop to the talking. Read about The Silent Revolution: How One Shul Put an End to Talking During Davening<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>in Jewish Action<\/i>, where a strong\u00a0initiative\u00a0created a dramatic shift in one of the largest Orthodox\u00a0shuls<\/em> in the tri-state area.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Rabbi Jack Abramowitz<\/strong>\u00a0is Torah Content Editor at the Orthodox Union. He is the author of five books, including\u00a0<\/em>The Tzniyus Book. His latest work,\u00a0<\/em>The Taryag Companion<\/a>, is available from\u00a0OU Press<\/a>\u00a0as well as on\u00a0Amazon<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When well-meaning congregants exacerbate the problems of shul<\/em> decorum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":384,"featured_media":31177,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97,85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nFollowing are some excerpts from Rabbi Jack\u2019s unpublished pamphlet, \u201cShhhhhh\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
\nA person is not permitted to carry on a general conversation (as opposed to words of Torah) in a synagogue even when it\u2019s not time for prayer! The Mishnah Brurah says even conversation that is permitted elsewhere \u2013 such as business discussions \u2013 are not allowed in shul. Certainly forbidden speech, such as lashon hara (gossip) must be avoided at all times, especially in shul!<\/p>\n
\nThe Mishnah Brurah further cautions us that we may not say Tehillim or even learn Torah during the repetition of the Amidah, even if we still say Amen at the end of the blessings. If we can\u2019t learn Torah, which is a tremendous mitzvah, we certainly must be careful not to engage in idle chatter at this time! (Mishnah Brurah\u2019s on Orach Chaim 124:4.)<\/p>\n
\nWhen you\u2019re at a different part of davening than the rest of the minyan, you can answer some responses, but not others. For example, we don\u2019t answer \u201cBaruch Hu u\u2019baruch shmo\u201d during Pesukei d\u2019Zimra. We don\u2019t answer \u201cAmen\u201d in the middle of the paragraphs from Barchu through the Amidah \u2013 and we don\u2019t join in saying Shema even between those paragraphs! Even Kedusha isn\u2019t answered between the bracha of go\u2019al Yisroel and the Amidah!<\/p>\n
\nOnce the Torah reading has begun, a person may not speak \u2013 not even words of Torah, not even between the aliyos, not even if he already heard the Torah read\u2026 (Orach Chaim 146:2)<\/p>\n
\n