![\"Respect\"](\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Respect-1-300x200.jpg\")
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\u201cDerech Eretz Kadma L’Torah.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n We often hear parents lamenting that \u201ckids are so disrespectful these days!\u201d It might be true, but it doesn\u2019t help to complain. And telling the kids<\/em> that they are disrespectful actually reinforces the negative behavior.<\/p>\n We just read the Aseret Hadibros<\/em>, the 10 commandments, and we see that\u00a0Kibud Av Ve’em<\/em>\u00a0(honoring one’s father and mother) is one of the most important mitzvot\u00a0<\/em>(commandments). Children need to show respect for their parents–not for the parents’ honor, but because it helps kids feel secure and creates a sense of stability for them. They need us to be larger than life for their own<\/em> emotional health.<\/p>\n We live in a time where we do not see so much respectful behavior around us. So our jobs as parents, our responsibility to teach kids to be respectful to us is that much harder. It’s not only about the\u00a0challenge\u00a0of getting them to comply; it’s also living in a culture that makes us reluctant to seek that respect. But we need to persevere, remembering that we’re doing it for our children’s benefit. We need to spend time teaching our kids respect. We need to teach them to show us derech eretz<\/em>\u00a0and Kibud Av Ve’em<\/em>.<\/p>\n How can we do that? One simple way is to use the phrases, Kibud Av Ve’em<\/em>, derech eretz<\/em> and just the word \u201crespect\u201d liberally and often. And the best time to use these words is when are children are actually exhibiting that behavior.<\/p>\n That is, instead of focusing on the times our children are disrespectful, we need to be on the lookout for any little act of respect on their part. Then we can point it out to them and praise them. When we only focus on their positive behavior we reinforce it. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.<\/p>\n Here are some examples of positive reinforcement:<\/p>\n