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<\/a><\/p>\nHow many marriages disintegrate because one spouse decides to fixate on what is missing (however small) rather than value what is present? A failure to be grateful for what is \u201cgood enough\u201d is a prime cause of the mid-life crisis. Little do people realize how good they had it until they squander it \u2013 until they discover that what looks enticing at a distance has the same (or worse) flaws up close.<\/p>\n
Again, to quote Voltaire (that Jew-hater): \u201cParadise on earth is where I am.\u201d The immodesty aside, the kernel of truth is the recognition that each person creates his own ideal state \u2013 in the here and now, in his present location, together with his loved ones and community. To dream of greener pastures elsewhere is often to overlook the treasure that is before your eyes.<\/p>\n
Children often suffer from parents\u2019 inflated expectations for them or attempt by parents to re-live their own lives vicariously, and to everyone\u2019s detriment. Some children never recover and foolishly choose to live their lives in anger, seeking vengeance against their parents through destructive, anti-social acts (ironically confirming their parents\u2019 low opinion of them).<\/p>\n
Others take a different route; Winston Churchill, as a young adult, was told by his father that he had been a \u201cconstant disappointment\u201d in every aspect of his life. Lord Randolph Churchill died relatively young, and Churchill was intent on proving his father \u2013 whom he admired \u2013 wrong. He did, but Churchill\u2019s approach is probably less common among today\u2019s youth.<\/p>\n
Children are also allowed to be \u201cgood enough,\u201d to make their own mistakes and grow from them. Perfection is impossible, so why be distressed by slight imperfections?<\/p>\n
Life becomes more enjoyable when we embrace the \u201cgood enough\u201d model. Vacations are more pleasurable, meals in restaurants taste better, and even the rabbi\u2019s sermons become more than tolerable. The search for the negative \u2013 what he didn\u2019t say, what wasn\u2019t served to perfection, the flaw in every individual \u2013 is debilitating.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve noticed how even the most favorable book reviews have to throw in a criticism \u2013 font too small, index not detailed enough, the wrong year was cited for a certain event \u2013 as if to say, \u201cit\u2019s a great book, but don\u2019t for a moment think it is perfect. This is how it is not perfect.\u201d Well, no one assumes that anything is perfect, and all the nitpicking does is reflect poorly on the reviewer (and\/or demonstrate that he actually read the book).<\/p>\n
Many of the critics of the extravagant Daf Yomi siyum<\/em> in New Jersey were similarly afflicted, falling over themselves in harping on this speaker, that non-speaker or non-invitee \u2013 and completely overlooking the essence: a celebration of Torah study for all Jews by almost 100,000 Jews gathered in one setting, an affirmation about what is most precious in Jewish life and what makes us unique. Of course, no commemoration could satisfy everyone or fully satisfy anyone, but what it was is far more noteworthy than what it lacked. That is what should have been reported and emphasized, if we haven\u2019t grown too accustomed to reveling in the blemishes.<\/p>\nSome might argue that the acceptance of \u201cgood enough\u201d is tantamount to enshrining mediocrity as a desideratum in life. Far from it. Mediocrity is complacency with failure, while the life properly lived always involves striving for greater perfection, for constant improvement even if perfection will never be achieved. The real difference between the virtue of \u201cgood enough\u201d and the vice of mediocrity is how we handle the intermediate stage. The former appreciates the current situation, and even if he hopes to improve it, he does not rail against the deficiencies even if they are not rectified. He has a concept of the \u201cperfect,\u201d as the standard, but is grateful for the reality he has now. Conversely, the mediocre does not idealize the perfect, and is content with the commonplace; he sees no need to push himself, and perhaps even discounts the value of success.<\/p>\n
Worse than both is the person who cannot appreciate what he has \u2013 what he has been granted \u2013 because he is consumed by what he doesn\u2019t have or what others have. For him, nothing is ever \u201cgood enough,\u201d and that unhappiness is a heavy burden that is mostly borne by those closest to him.<\/p>\n
Sometimes things are bad and unacceptable and require transformation. But usually things are \u201cgood enough\u201d and might benefit from tinkering at the edges. The tinkering can improve our lives but should not detract from the fundamental goodness (and acceptability) of our blessings.<\/p>\n
The Creator looked at His world as active creation ended, and pronounced it not perfect \u2013 but \u201cvery good\u201d (Breisheet1:31). It certainly was good enough \u2013 for man to be challenged to continue G-d\u2019s work and perfect the world, generation after generation.<\/p>\n
That should be our paradigm for life as well. The realization that what is \u201cgood enough\u201d is actually \u201cvery good\u201d indeed makes for happier people and more fulfilling lives, with individuals, families, homes and communities in which the byword is gratitude for all our blessings.<\/p>\n
\nRabbi Steven Pruzansky<\/strong>\u00a0is the spiritual leader of Congregation Bnai Yeshurun in Teaneck, New Jersey. He is a member of the New York and Federal Bars and<\/em>\u00a0is a trustee of the RCA<\/a> on the Board of the Beth Din of America, as well as a <\/em>dayan on the Beth Din itself.<\/em>\u00a0He also is a member of the Rabbinical Alliance of America.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":745,"featured_media":29201,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[89,85,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growth","category-inspiration","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n
A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - OU<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - OU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"OU Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-09-06T15:29:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-02-13T11:57:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000015339757Small1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"849\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"565\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/\",\"name\":\"A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - 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Previously, Rabbi Pruzansky was for nine years the spiritual leader of Congregation Etz Chaim in Kew Gardens Hills, New York. While in New York, he served a two-year term as President of the Vaad Harabonim (Rabbinical Board) of Queens. Rabbi Pruzansky graduated from Columbia University in 1978 with a B.A. in history, and received a Juris Doctor degree from the Benjamin Cardozo School of Law in 1981. He practiced law for 13 years as a general practitioner and litigator in New York City until assuming his current pulpit. He is a member of the New York and Federal Bars, and is admitted to practice before the United States Supreme Court. Rabbi Pruzansky studied in yeshivot in Israel and the United States, and was ordained at Yeshiva Bnei Torah of Far Rockaway, New York under the guidance of Rabbi Yisrael Chait, shlit\u201da. A past President of the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County and currently the treasurer, he also served as a Vice-President of the Rabbinical Council of America. He is a trustee of the RCA on the Board of the Beth Din of America, as well as a dayan on the Beth Din itself. He also is a member of the Rabbinical Alliance of America, and served as the American co-spokesman for the International Rabbinic Coalition for Israel. Rabbi Pruzansky served on the Board of Directors of the Jerusalem Reclamation Project, and received their Rabbinic Leadership Award at their 1995 Jerusalem Day banquet. He presently is on the Board of Directors of Pro Israel and the One Israel Fund, and received the latter\u2019s Rabbi Zvi Yehuda Kook Rabbinic Leadership Award at their 1997 Unity Dinner. He has also been honored by the Orthodox Union, the Bet El Yeshiva Center located in Bet El, Israel, Ezras Torah, the Destiny Foundation, and several other Jewish and community organizations. He has served since 2005 on Teaneck\u2019s Civilian Complaint Review Board. He writes extensively on topics of Jewish interest and has lectured in more than 20 countries. Rabbi Pruzansky is the author of \u201cA Prophet for Today: Contemporary Lessons of the Book of Yehoshua\u201d (Gefen Publishing House, 2006), and the \u201cJudges for our Time: Contemporary Lessons of the Book of Shoftim (Gefen Publishing House, 2009).\u201d He resides in Teaneck with his wife Karen, a speech-language pathologist, and is the proud father of four married children and eight grandchildren.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/stevenpruzansky-me\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - OU","description":"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - OU","og_description":"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/","og_site_name":"OU Life","article_published_time":"2012-09-06T15:29:09+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-02-13T11:57:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":849,"height":565,"url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000015339757Small1.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/","name":"A Simple Paradigm Shift That Will Improve Every Aspect of Your Life - OU","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000015339757Small1.jpg","datePublished":"2012-09-06T15:29:09+00:00","dateModified":"2017-02-13T11:57:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/256c6636550a6d23ba3efd42b45f3a3d"},"description":"One of the primary curses that plague man is the cynical dismissal of things that are not \u201cgood enough\u201d only because they are not \u201cperfect.\u201d","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/its-time-realize-that-good-enough-is-actually-very-good-steven-pruzansky\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000015339757Small1.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/iStock_000015339757Small1.jpg","width":"849","height":"565"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/","name":"OU Life","description":"Everyday Jewish Living","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/256c6636550a6d23ba3efd42b45f3a3d","name":"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6876acab229cc852d04fbfa7614234739d8073377de4e0dd45bee7cfa7fc09e4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6876acab229cc852d04fbfa7614234739d8073377de4e0dd45bee7cfa7fc09e4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky"},"description":"Rabbi Steven Pruzansky is the spiritual leader of Congregation Bnai Yeshurun, a synagogue consisting of nearly 600 families located in Teaneck, New Jersey, and one of the most vibrant centers of Orthodox Jewish life today. Previously, Rabbi Pruzansky was for nine years the spiritual leader of Congregation Etz Chaim in Kew Gardens Hills, New York. While in New York, he served a two-year term as President of the Vaad Harabonim (Rabbinical Board) of Queens. Rabbi Pruzansky graduated from Columbia University in 1978 with a B.A. in history, and received a Juris Doctor degree from the Benjamin Cardozo School of Law in 1981. He practiced law for 13 years as a general practitioner and litigator in New York City until assuming his current pulpit. He is a member of the New York and Federal Bars, and is admitted to practice before the United States Supreme Court. Rabbi Pruzansky studied in yeshivot in Israel and the United States, and was ordained at Yeshiva Bnei Torah of Far Rockaway, New York under the guidance of Rabbi Yisrael Chait, shlit\u201da. A past President of the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County and currently the treasurer, he also served as a Vice-President of the Rabbinical Council of America. He is a trustee of the RCA on the Board of the Beth Din of America, as well as a dayan on the Beth Din itself. He also is a member of the Rabbinical Alliance of America, and served as the American co-spokesman for the International Rabbinic Coalition for Israel. Rabbi Pruzansky served on the Board of Directors of the Jerusalem Reclamation Project, and received their Rabbinic Leadership Award at their 1995 Jerusalem Day banquet. He presently is on the Board of Directors of Pro Israel and the One Israel Fund, and received the latter\u2019s Rabbi Zvi Yehuda Kook Rabbinic Leadership Award at their 1997 Unity Dinner. He has also been honored by the Orthodox Union, the Bet El Yeshiva Center located in Bet El, Israel, Ezras Torah, the Destiny Foundation, and several other Jewish and community organizations. He has served since 2005 on Teaneck\u2019s Civilian Complaint Review Board. He writes extensively on topics of Jewish interest and has lectured in more than 20 countries. Rabbi Pruzansky is the author of \u201cA Prophet for Today: Contemporary Lessons of the Book of Yehoshua\u201d (Gefen Publishing House, 2006), and the \u201cJudges for our Time: Contemporary Lessons of the Book of Shoftim (Gefen Publishing House, 2009).\u201d He resides in Teaneck with his wife Karen, a speech-language pathologist, and is the proud father of four married children and eight grandchildren.","url":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/author\/stevenpruzansky-me\/"}]}},"acf":[],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/745"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29195"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55530,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195\/revisions\/55530"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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