![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Trees-and-Sunlight-300x200.jpg\" "\\"SONY")
<\/p>\nIt was erev Pesach. It was not a very windy day. There was no hurricane. There were, incidentally, two doctors standing on the lawn when the tree came down. As his wife Michelle would later say, it was \u201cclearly from G-d.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The tree hit Yaakov Bernstein square in the back, knocking him to the ground and knocking him out. The doctors began CPR immediately. Had they not been present, things might have ended quite differently.<\/p>\n
Michelle and an ambulance arrived soon after, ushering Yaakov to a Level II Trauma Center. After the doctors in the Trauma Center performed a full scan of his body, they realized the damage was far worse than they had imagined.<\/p>\n
Yaakov was airlifted to a Level I Trauma Center.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re putting humpty dumpty back together again,\u201d the doctors joked. It was a light moment in a mess of broken things: bones, spirits, hearts. From his face down to his ankle, nearly everything was fractured: Yaakov broke both shoulders, the C7 in his neck, the L1 in his back, his right arm, left elbow and his left leg from his hip to his ankle. He suffered facial fractures underneath his sinuses, abrasions on his cornea and a punctured lung. Had the break in his back been one centimeter off, he would have been paralyzed.<\/p>\n
Yaakov needed a lot of drugs to keep the pain in check. Between that, anesthesia from multiple surgeries and lack of sleep, he\u2019d enter into a sort of delirium. \u201cWe\u2019d ask him, \u2018Yaakov, where are you?\u2019 and he\u2019d respond, \u2018I\u2019m in Progressive Field [a baseball stadium]!\u2019\u201d Michelle laughed. \u201c\u2018No! You\u2019re in a hospital!\u2019\u201d she\u2019d exclaim. \u201cIt was frustrating not being able to connect.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michelle wasn\u2019t even able to speak to him on the phone initially; Yaakov\u2019s injuries made it impossible for him to hold a phone. \u201cYou realize that to be able to simply say goodnight means so much.\u201d<\/p>\n
When Yaakov was transferred to the Montefiore nursing home two weeks later to continue his rehabilitation, the staff stood in awe. \u201cThey had never seen anything like this,\u201d Michelle says.<\/p>\n
Things were difficult. \u201cSomeone said to me, \u2018Don\u2019t worry, it can\u2019t get worse,\u2019\u201d Michelle recalls. \u201cAnd then\u2026it did get worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michelle\u2019s youngest of four children, a nine-month-old baby girl, contracted C. difficile – a serious, potentially life-threatening disease of the intestines.<\/p>\n
C. diff is highly contagious, so the baby was pulled out of playgroup. Every surface in the home was subject to aggressive Lysol-ing. Michelle needed to drop off stool samples at the lab every week. Ultimately, Michelle ended up in the hospital with her baby \u2013 only to return home on erev Yom Kippur. It took six months to get rid of what her baby had picked up.<\/p>\n
\u201cBalancing day-to-day life with taking care of Yaakov \u2013 it was exhausting, emotionally and physically,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI couldn\u2019t cut out on anything \u2013 you can\u2019t ignore your kids, your husband, your job, and even yourself to a certain extent.\u201d<\/p>\n
Prior to her most recent job, Michelle worked as a social worker in a trauma center. So she knew from the beginning what to expect. She approached the situation realistically, practically.<\/p>\n
Her former job alerted her to the damage that could occur when parents don\u2019t tell their children about what is going on at home. So she gave her kids all the (watered down) information from the beginning: \u201cTatti\u2019s really hurt and not coming home for a long time, but he will get better.\u201d And she walked them through what he looked like.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was able to think about it from a professional perspective,\u201d she says. \u201cI felt like Hashem really prepped me for it, gave me certain coping skills.\u201d<\/p>\n
Indeed, Michelle recounts all the troubling details amidst many \u201cbaruch Hashem\u201ds and mentions of hashgacha pratit (Divine providence).<\/p>\n
But she is quick to note, \u201cI definitely don\u2019t want to give the impression that we were great. There were times I completely broke down.”<\/p>\n
The parents and in-laws flew in on alternate weekends, and the community members called nonstop, making offers. They said Tehillim immediately after they heard the news, and again erev Pesach they gathered in shul \u201cas if they had nothing else to do,\u201d Michelle says. Their assistance was endless – regular visits to Yaakov, friends buying groceries, babysitting – and Michelle, literally, could not have done it without them.<\/p>\n
Still – a husband is meant to be your partner, your support. Not having that throughout the entire experience was possibly the hardest part. \u201cAs amazing as your friends and family are, at the end of the night, you\u2019re on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n
As difficult as things were, it was critical for Michelle to keep things in perspective. \u201cWith Yaakov, we knew from the beginning that his mind was fine, that he would eventually walk again. He would recover. So how could I complain, \u2019Why me?\u2019 when the obvious possibility was so tragic?<\/p>\n
\u201cOn the one hand, you feel like you\u2019re being punished, but on the other hand, you have so much hakarat hatov (recognition of the good),\u201d Michelle notes. \u201cThe feelings are very mixed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yaakov\u2019s attitude gave Michelle strength. \u201cFor the first few months he couldn\u2019t even get up in the morning; he would wake up crying, he was in so much pain,\u201d she recalls. \u201cBut he was never bitter. The whole time, he never asked: \u2018Why me? It\u2019s not fair.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Always looking towards the light at the end helped center Michelle. The Bernstein\u2019s had a seudat hoda\u2019ah right before Chanukah at Montefiore, the nursing home where Yaakov stayed, to give thanks to G-d for Yaakov\u2019s tremendous recovery. \u201cFrom the beginning I was dreaming about this,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cAs important as it was to [Yaakov], it was so important to me. That\u2019s what got me through [the whole ordeal].\u201d<\/p>\n
The halacha dictates that one makes a seudat hoda\u2019ah every year on the event\u2019s \u201canniversary.\u201d This means a seudah every year on erev Pesach \u2013 not the most uneventful time.<\/p>\n
Michelle sometimes wonders, \u201cDo you ever forget?\u201d It\u2019s a question of human nature. Do we remain impacted even by the most challenging times, the ones we deem \u201clife-changing\u201d?<\/p>\n
Everything\u2019s for a reason, but the lessons can be painful.<\/p>\n
Now, one year after the tree first fell, Michelle can list some of the things she has gained from the whole traumatic and exhausting ordeal. \u201cIt really brought home the point of hashgacha pratit,\u201d she says. \u201cOf course, I never would ask for this \u2013 but Hashem put us in this situation for a reason and He\u2019s going to have to help us get through it.\u201d It was simple logic of faith. \u201cTrees don\u2019t just fall on people,\u201d and this tree obviously had a purpose.<\/p>\n
You learn not to take things for granted. Michelle now turns to Yaakov and says, \u201c\u2019I\u2019m so appreciative you\u2019re alive.\u2019 How many people can say that to their husband?\u201d Perhaps not many. But, perhaps, a tree needn\u2019t fall before those words are uttered.<\/p>\n
People pass Yaakov on the street and exclaim, \u201cYou\u2019re a walking miracle!\u201d But Yaakov shakes his head: \u201cYou\u2019re a walking miracle,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just don\u2019t appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What might have happened had the doctors not been standing there?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":24761,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\n