![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/files\/Holding-Hands-200x300.jpg\" "\\"Holding")
The answer is painfully obvious.<\/p>\nWhat is it about our modern era that necessitates the production of Jewish books on the Torah\u2019s view of marital intimacy, on sexuality?<\/p>\n
The answer is painfully obvious.<\/p>\n
We find ourselves in a world that is permeated by, and preoccupied\u00a0with, little other than sexuality\u00a0and the seemingly limitless ways of creating and indulging sexual passion.\u00a0 And, to make matters worse, even as the world wallows in unbridled sexuality, it continues to instill the subliminal message that sex is evil and is linked inextricably with feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and shame.<\/p>\n
The last century\u2019s scientific and technological \u201cadvances\u201d have united the world to a degree unprecedented in human history.\u00a0 The power and influence of the various mass media is such that, today, it is impossible for any Jew or Jewish community anywhere in the world to remain insulated from the onslaught against fundamental Torah values.\u00a0 We are exposed daily to value systems and ideologies foreign and antagonistic to our own.<\/p>\n
It is no wonder, then, that the Jewish community has unwittingly absorbed some of this confused ideology into its fundamental attitudes towards sexuality.\u00a0 Indeed, it is astounding that we have not adopted more.<\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
The Torah uses the physical activity of mitzvah performance to engrave the significance of a mitzvah deep into the soul.\u00a0 Physical activity is much more effective at impressing an idea into the soul than intellectual contemplation alone could be.\u00a0 And, physical pleasure<\/em> that results from the performance of a mitzvah serves as the means of achieving the deepest impression of all.<\/p>\n Almost every mitzvah consists of taking some \u201cprop\u201d of the physical world and using it in His service, in fulfillment of a Divine directive.\u00a0 Our job as Jews as envisioned by the Torah is to take the gifts of this world and elevate them to the heights of holiness. \u00a0Shabbat, for example, is sanctified over a cup of wine \u2013 words alone will not suffice. \u00a0Almost every mitzvah consists of combining physical with spiritual, accomplishing, through this synergy, what each component alone never could.<\/p>\n This is where Judaism diverges fundamentally from other religious systems; this is what gives Judaism its unique essential character.\u00a0 Christianity turns a jaundiced eye on this world and its pleasures, and demands from its adherents a strict, complete denial of, and abstention from, this world and all it has to offer in return for a promise of reward in the next world.\u00a0 Any partaking of or involvement in things physical is condemned as weakness and compromise, a submission to the base, animal, evil desires contained within every sinful human soul.\u00a0 Christian philosophy pits physical against spiritual.<\/p>\n Nothing, the Torah teaches, could be farther from the truth!\u00a0 Judaism teaches that only someone who has learned to experience and appreciate pleasure in this world, and has learned to express gratitude for these pleasures to \u201cthe One Who spoke and created the world\u201d will be capable of fully appreciating and praising the Almighty\u2019s greatness and benevolence in the Next World.<\/p>\n The Torah, then, does not posit any inherent conflict between the physical and spiritual aspects of Creation.<\/p>\n The Torah\u2019s view of sexuality is a perfect illustration of the general Torah attitude toward the physical world and its pleasures: The Seer of Lublin (Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak Horowitz, 1745-1815) emphasized that a person must feel and express gratitude to the Almighty when he experiences sexual pleasure.\u00a0 Sexual pleasure, like all physical pleasure, the Seer explained, is an opportunity to feel gratitude to God.<\/p>\n Western society prizes pleasure.\u00a0 Much, if not most, of our time, energy, attention, imagination, resources, and money is directed to the pursuit of pleasure, in innumerable forms and varieties.\u00a0 Many times, of course, the acquisition or enjoyment of pleasure carries with it obligations and responsibilities.\u00a0 Often (though not always), these obligations are discharged and these responsibilities are fulfilled.\u00a0 What can you do?\u00a0 That is the price one must pay for many pleasures.<\/p>\n Contrast this to the Torah\u2019s view.\u00a0 The Torah also values pleasure, as we have seen \u2013 but with a significant difference.\u00a0 Duties and responsibilities are not the inevitable, unavoidable \u201ccost\u201d of pleasure.\u00a0 Rather, pleasure is a happy and not unwelcome byproduct that accompanies and results from the proper observance and fulfillment of many of our G-d-given obligations.\u00a0 In such instances, pleasure introduces an additional duty to feel and express gratitude to the Giver of all pleasures.<\/p>\n Pleasure obtained through, or as<\/em>, the performance of God\u2019s commandments is a nice extra \u2013 and one celebrated in countless statements by our Sages \u2013 but our gaze never falters or wanders from what, for a Jew, is the most important \u2013 indeed, the only \u2013 concern: fulfilling the will of the Almighty.<\/p>\n Our analysis, while correct, is incomplete.\u00a0 There is another dimension.\u00a0 Sex is not just one<\/em> example of physical pleasure.\u00a0 It is the ultimate, most extreme example because it is the most intense, volatile, pronounced drive. Thus,\u00a0we can extrapolate to all other, lesser pleasures because, if a person can<\/em> attain holiness in this realm, then certainly he can attain holiness through the rest of the world\u2019s delights<\/em>.<\/p>\n Looking to improve your marriage? (Who isn’t?) \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The OU partners with Puah Institute to address “Clinical and Torah Perspectives on Intimacy and Fertility Challenges<\/a>,” April 29th in Teaneck, NJ.<\/em><\/p>\n This piece is excerpted from\u00a0Marital Intimacy<\/a>. \u00a0The author, Rabbi Cary A. Friedman, is Associate Editor of the OU Press. \u00a0Rabbi Friedman is available for Scholar in Residence programs, and can be reached at\u00a0friedmanc@ou.org<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Even as the world wallows in unbridled sexuality, it continues to instill the subliminal message that it is evil.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":552,"featured_media":24763,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n
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