{"id":23970,"date":"2012-02-02T22:21:52","date_gmt":"2012-02-02T22:21:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/?p=23970"},"modified":"2015-11-05T14:44:08","modified_gmt":"2015-11-05T19:44:08","slug":"why-do-i-feel-guilty-when-i-exercise-pesach_sommer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/health\/physical-health\/why-do-i-feel-guilty-when-i-exercise-pesach_sommer\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do I Feel Guilty When I Exercise?: Learning to Run on High"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was 100 pounds overweight when I decided it was time to get in shape. I took up running, and my efforts were met with success. Friends and family were complimenting me and, for the first time in years, I could walk up a hill without getting winded.<\/p>\n

So why was I feeling so guilty?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I accepted the dichotomy without ever critically thinking about it. Whether it was the mind-versus-body split of philosophy, or kabbalah’s claim of the soul’s struggle against the body, the physical was always pitted against the spiritual.<\/p>\n

So when I began to vigorously engage in what seemed like a strictly physical pursuit, I felt guilty. I was uncomfortable with activities like sports and exercise. Running, with all the health benefits it had to offer, left me uneasy.<\/p>\n

I tried to ignore the little voice in my head that told me that running was bitul zman<\/em>, a waste of time. When that didn’t work, I tried to convince myself that my time in the gym was justified by the fact that it would allow me to live longer and fulfill the goal of v’nishmartem meod<\/em>, protecting my life. I suppose that should have been enough, but somehow it left me less than satisfied. Not enough to get me to stop, but, still, I was determined to understand and hopefully get rid of the gnawing feeling I was experiencing.<\/p>\n

I then discovered a benefit to my running that I hadn’t expected. As I ran, my mind worked better. Not just my mind, but my soul as well. As I sweated off the pounds, I found myself thinking with a level of clarity I hadn’t felt in a long time. As I got faster and set new running goals, I started aiming higher in my spiritual life as well.<\/p>\n

I began to realize that there is no split, that I am not made up of competing parts pulling me in different directions. There is a wholeness that I feel as I no longer see myself in conflict. I am not made up of competing interests. In everything I do, there is only me.<\/p>\n

As I pray, my body gently sways; as I hear music, my soul dances; and as I run, I become myself in a way I never could before. I see G-d in places that I had previously (paradoxically?) thought of as inherently unholy.<\/p>\n

As for the guilt, along with all my excess weight, it is long gone.<\/p>\n

\n

Pesach Sommer is married and has seven children. He is a rebbe at The Yeshiva of Flatbush. He enjoys reading, writing and running. Pesach plans to run the Boston Marathon this April.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reconciling the soul-body split.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":717,"featured_media":23972,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[85,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration","category-physical-health"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Do I Feel Guilty When I Exercise? Learning to Run on High<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I tried to ignore the voice in my head that told me that running was bitul zman And as I ran, my mind worked better. 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