{"id":17760,"date":"2011-11-29T03:06:55","date_gmt":"2011-11-29T03:06:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ou.org\/life\/?p=17760"},"modified":"2016-12-01T10:09:14","modified_gmt":"2016-12-01T15:09:14","slug":"seeing-miracles-every-day-meet-the-landys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/seeing-miracles-every-day-meet-the-landys\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeing Miracles Every Day: Meet the Landys"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Landys may very well be the most conspicuous family in Rochester, New York. Anita Landy drives around town in a big white bus, custom made to carry her lively crew of five,\"\"<\/a> in addition to three wheelchairs, a ventilator and a service dog named Magic. Nurses traipse in and out of their home 24\/7, and massage, music and art therapists visit regularly. Locals are wont to ask the Landy children: \u201cAren\u2019t you the kids from that group home on the corner of Bonnie Brae Avenue?\u201d And they always respond: \u201cThat\u2019s no group home; that\u2019s our house!\u201d To the area\u2019s Orthodox Jewish community, however, the Landy home is known as a house full of chesed.<\/p>\n

When Douglas and Anita Landy married in 1984, they each had a daughter from previous marriages. Today, they have seven children between them, five of whom have disabilities and live at home. Three of them\u2014who have spina bifida, a disabling birth defect of the spinal cord\u2014were adopted. The Landys welcomed these three infants into their family with the sole intention of helping them attain the highest possible quality of life, despite their physical and cognitive challenges. As they dole out a consistent diet of pure love, care and devotion, the Landys are not only achieving success, they are witnessing miracles.<\/p>\n

Noah, their first child together, was born prematurely with bronchopulmonary dysplasia, a chronic lung disease that most commonly affects the lungs of premature babies, often necessitating a ventilator to facilitate breathing. He was oxygen dependent for close to nine years. Unable to simultaneously swallow and breathe, Noah received his nourishment through a G-tube, inserted through an incision in his abdomen. Now a young adult, Noah enjoys the use of 50 percent of his lung capacity and controls his bouts of asthma with medication. His \u201cbiggest issue,\u201d according to his mother, was caused by bleeding in his head during his \u201cpremature time,\u201d leaving him with Asperger syndrome, a condition marked by impaired social interactions and limited repetitive patterns of behavior.<\/p>\n

Four years after Noah\u2019s birth, the Landys decided to have another child. Their second son, Adam, suffered a stroke during birth, leaving him deaf. His hearing returned at age three, and by five, he could speak. He currently wears a hearing aid to improve his audible range. \u201cIt took a lot of therapy,\u201d says Anita. \u201cHe\u2019s a hard worker.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Landy children continue to blossom within their home and their community, nurtured by the overriding message that their personal challenges are only one part of their lives.<\/div>\n

Although the Landys wanted to have more children, they hesitated in light of their track record of health issues; they not only had concerns about their future children\u2019s health, but about Anita\u2019s health as well. \u201cI ruptured a disc with each pregnancy and had to undergo surgery,\u201d says Anita. \u201cThe doctors advised us not to have more.\u201d It didn\u2019t take much time for the Landys to come up with the next logical course of action\u2014adoption. They realized that they stood a slim chance of finding and affording a healthy newborn and had no qualms about taking on a Jewish child with some extra challenges. With Douglas a seasoned psychiatrist and Anita a former special education teacher, they figured they were up to the task.<\/p>\n

While exploring adoption agencies, the Landys, then living in Traverse City, Michigan, were directed to the Jewish Children\u2019s Adoption Network (JCAN) in Denver, an organization that matches Jewish children with disabilities\u2014who have been given up by their biological parents\u2014with adoptive parents. Soon after making contact with the agency, the Landys received a call about a baby with spina bifida who had no movement in her legs, born to a couple in New York City. The Landys boarded a plane. After the doctors put in a shunt to drain the fluid in the baby\u2019s head, the Landys took their new daughter, Rachel, home.<\/p>\n

Spina bifida results from the failure of the spinal column to close properly during the first month of pregnancy. It can cause varying degrees of weakness of limbs, paralysis, lack of bowel or bladder control, learning problems, hydrocephalus (abnormal accumulation of fluid in the brain), seizures, breathing problems, clubfeet and impaired vision.<\/p>\n

Six months after Rachel joined the Landys, Doug and Anita traveled to Detroit, their hometown, to visit family. While there, they received a call from their babysitter telling them of an adoption agency in New York City that was desperately trying to reach them. The agency told them about a couple who wanted the Landys to take their baby who was born with spina bifida. \u201cA nurse currently involved with this couple had been in the unit where Rachel was born and remembered us,\u201d says Anita. Struck by the turn of events, the Landys agreed to talk to them. The Landys tried in vain to convince the couple to keep the baby. Then they made a decision. \u201cWe thought: \u2018With Rachel [then only six months old] it\u2019ll be like having twins,\u2019\u201d says Anita. \u2018Okay, let\u2019s do it!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Becky at first seemed stronger and healthier than her older sister, Rachel. However, six weeks after her arrival, her condition worsened. She had Chiari malformation, and because of the way her spine was formed, her brainstem fell. When Becky\u2019s skull fused and Becky stopped breathing, the Landys flew to Detroit for emergency surgery. In the aftermath, she suffered vocal chord paralysis and couldn\u2019t swallow. \u201cShe became the most medically involved of all our children,\u201d says Anita. \u201cShe has had a few strokes and seven operations to release the pressure on her brainstem; she\u2019s ventilator dependent, uses an electric wheelchair and is fed through a tube. She\u2019s had close to one hundred surgeries, but we\u2019ve persevered.\u201d Fueled by the power of her parents\u2019 devotion and constant giving, Becky developed an indefatigable verve for life. Although the Landys were told that Becky would never talk, she has, in fact, learned to do so. \u201cShe is aware and interactive and a very happy child,\u201d says Anita.<\/p>\n

Three years later, after the Landys had moved to Rochester, JCAN called to inform them of a Jewish couple in New York City about to give birth to a baby with spina bifida. The children urged them to take the child. \u201cThey pleaded, \u2018Mom, we have to\u2014she\u2019s Jewish!,\u2019\u201d recalls Anita. \u201c\u2018Who else will take her if we don\u2019t? She\u2019ll just end up in the system and she won\u2019t be Jewish anymore.\u2019 We decided to go get her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Weighing only four pounds, Stephanie, like many spina bifida babies, needed a shunt. At three years old, she started having seizures and displayed signs of autism. \u201cShe\u2019s a full-time walker, yet the least aware,\u201d says Anita. \u201cShe has a poor memory; some days she can read, some days not.\u201d Like her brothers and sisters, she is a loved, valued and integral part of the Landy family.<\/p>\n

Lessons in Acceptance<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

With the constant hubbub in their home, Becky\u2019s close calls and the need to constantly keep on top of everyone\u2019s medical needs as well as the nurses\u2019 schedules, insurance matters and assorted medications and tutors, the Landys truly love their life, a life they have, in fact, chosen. Douglas admits he \u201cnever in a million years imagined he\u2019d have a home like this,\u201d yet, he says, it feels absolutely right. \u201cIt seemed clear to us that this was our responsibility, and I felt prepared for each child,\u201d he says. \u201cI look at each of them and feel a sense of awe. For all my faults and failings, I\u2019ve been given this opportunity. Between Anita and me, we knew we could handle whatever came.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rochester\u2019s frum community shares Douglas\u2019s awe for his family. When Rabbi Mordechai Hochheimer, rav of Congregation Beth Hakneses Hachodosh, the area\u2019s Orthodox synagogue, interviewed for the rabbinic position in 2004, Douglas, the shul president, invited the rabbi, his wife, Shira, and their two-year-old son, Avraham Yeshaya, for Shabbat. \u201cAs soon as we walked in, we were greeted by their dog,\u201d Rabbi Hochheimer says. \u201cThen we met the two older sons and the three daughters. Rachel, who just had another surgery on her leg; Stephanie, who walks with braces and has autism, and, in the main room, we met Becky, the most severely challenged, smiling happily, with the dog by her side. During the meal, the kids went off to the playroom. Stephanie and Rachel played with Avraham Yeshaya, including him in their game. [I could see] this was a lesson they knew well\u2014that everyone has his own abilities, even a two-year-old, and to deal with each person as he is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shira was most impressed with the Landys\u2019 composed, almost tranquil disposition in the midst of a very \u201chappening household.\u201d She also marveled at their selflessness. \u201cThey don\u2019t view what they are doing as something optional,\u201d says Shira. \u201cI don\u2019t think they see these girls in any way other than their daughters. This is what they feel obligated to do for these children. It is not a chesed project.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Landys feel beholden to their children for continually enriching their own lives. \u201cBecky has taught me so much about life,\u201d says Anita. \u201cShe has taught me that there doesn\u2019t have to be an understandable reason why [certain things happen], but Hashem decides what needs to be and we have to accept that. Becky is the epitome of that belief and shows [that to] us constantly.\u201d<\/p>\n

To illustrate the depth of Becky\u2019s faith, Anita relates a compelling story. At one point Becky had the use of her legs, but by the time she was six, her spinal cord often became tethered, causing thick scar tissue to build on her back; the tissue started pulling on her spinal cord and on her already fragile brainstem. The Landys\u2019 surgeon consulted with a top neurosurgeon and was informed that if he didn\u2019t sever Becky\u2019s spinal cord, she would die. \u201cThe doctor had never done this [procedure] before and wouldn\u2019t leave her bedside until she awoke,\u201d Anita recalls. \u201cWhen [Becky] opened her eyes, she said: \u2018I can\u2019t move my legs.\u2019 The surgeon started to cry. I said, \u2018Becky, you can move your legs.\u2019 He looked at me like I was crazy. \u2018What you have to do is take your arms and move your legs to wherever you want them to go. You\u2019ll just have to use your arms to do it now. She looked at me and said, \u2018Oh, okay.\u2019 And she tried it. It worked, and that was it. It was okay. And that\u2019s Becky. She has lost so many things and yet she has lost nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

A Day in the Life of the Landys<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Anita starts her day at 5:30, relieving Becky\u2019s overnight nurse before her day nurse arrives. \u201cWe are Becky\u2019s brainstem; we keep her going,\u201d says Anita. \u201cWe monitor her breathing, carbon monoxide, blood pressure and blood sugar; she just goes about her business and plays. We have to change her setting, her position or whatever it takes to get things back to where they need to be.\u201d Becky\u2019s bus comes a little after 7:00, and she goes off to school with her nurse. Anita then gets Rachel and Stephanie ready for school, while the boys get ready themselves.<\/p>\n

By 8:30, the kids have left for school and Anita takes advantage of the window of time to make important calls and order equipment and various medical supplies. \u201cIt\u2019s all about coordinating, making sure the doctor appointments are set, the insurance things have gone through,\u201d says Anita. \u201cI do the billing to Medicaid for the nurses. I\u2019m running a small business.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once the calls are completed, Anita \u201chome schools\u201d Noah for his vet tech online distance-learning program. The girls return home between 2:30 and 3:30; Anita employs two nurses for an hour during the transition. She receives a medical update on what needs to be done for Becky and gets everyone prepared for their after-school activities, which include tutoring, music and art therapy and therapeutic massages. In the late afternoons, community members tutor the children in Hebrew studies. At 7:00 p.m., Anita and Douglas snatch some precious time together over dinner. As the evening progresses, the family gets ready for bed. Stephanie, who has the most difficulty focusing, is assisted first; again, the boys are able to take care of themselves, as is Rachel. By 8:00, it\u2019s Becky\u2019s turn. And then, the house is quiet. \u201cIt\u2019s nice,\u201d says Anita. \u201cI catch up on my e-mail.\u201d Come Shabbat, the Landys, like most families, enjoy the unfettered expanse of time together.<\/p>\n

The Landy children continue to blossom within their home and their community, nurtured by the overriding message that their personal challenges are only one part of their lives, something to work with while striving each day to become the people they are meant to become.<\/p>\n

Employed by a nearby veterinarian as a kennel attendant, Noah, now twenty-one, is completing his veterinary technician studies.<\/p>\n

Fueled by the power of her parents\u2019 devotion and constant giving, Becky developed an indefatigable verve for life.<\/div>\n

Despite a mild learning disability, Adam, seventeen, currently in eleventh grade, consistently scores A\u2019s and B\u2019s, and plans to study architecture. He also loves to cook. In December 2004, Becky was rushed to a hospital in Buffalo because of a shunt malfunction and a build up of scar tissue in her brain stem. Due to a series of complications, she remained in the hospital for nearly a year, with Anita faithfully by her side. The Rochester kehillah was at the ready, organizing meals for the family. However, Adam insisted on taking over that prized responsibility. \u201cHe really enjoys cooking and keeping the house,\u201d says Rabbi Hochheimer. \u201cThey had to beg the community not to help so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rachel, now twelve, attends public school, as do her sisters. She has some learning disabilities, but excels in her studies. Initially unable to move her legs, she now walks with effort, often opting to use her wheelchair. Known as \u201cMiss Socialite\u201d by her family, she enjoys her friendships, and every Shabbat she wheels herself to Bnos, a girls\u2019 Shabbat youth group, to hear divrei Torah and bask in achdut.<\/p>\n

Becky, also twelve, learns in a special education setting, but is mainstreamed for various subjects.<\/p>\n

Stephanie, nine, attends a program in a school specifically for children with behavioral issues. After her trying first year of life, which included over a dozen shunt revisions, Stephanie has done well in terms of her spina bifida. However, at three she developed epilepsy as well as a form of autism, which has impeded her ability to learn. Stephanie is working with a psychiatrist to help her with behavioral issues and has met with noticeable success.<\/p>\n

The Power of Stick-to-it-ness<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

While the Landys derive much nachat from their children\u2019s notable achievements, they view character development as the true measure of success in priming a child for life. Apparently, they seem to be succeeding in that crucial area as well. Although her Bat Mitzvah fell in the spring of 2006, Rachel decided to postpone the celebration until August\u2014knowing full well that her friends would be away at camp and unable to attend\u2014so that she and Becky could celebrate their Bat Mitzvahs together. The Landys erected a big tent in their front yard and welcomed the community to their simchah. Rachel, who aspires to be a Jewish studies teacher, spoke about the importance of Shabbat, and Becky displayed a poster she had made, highlighting the ways she helps the family prepare for Shabbat including setting the table, putting salt on the table, getting the challah ready and handing out the grape juice. \u201cThere wasn\u2019t a dry eye in the place,\u201d says Shira. \u201cIt was a time to acknowledge what they had accomplished.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was Rachel\u2019s upbringing that [primed her] to postpone her own celebration so that her sister could participate,\u201d Shira adds.<\/p>\n

Douglas credits his children\u2019s admirable middot to his wife\u2019s sterling example and her tireless efforts at encouraging \u201cstick-to-it-ness\u201d while bringing out the best in them. \u201cOne time Becky was cutting papers with a pair of scissors,\u201d he says. \u201cThe nurse came over to adjust something on her chair, and Becky leaned over and cut a chunk of her hair. Fortunately, it wasn\u2019t very noticeable. The nurse told Becky that she had to apologize. She refused. Then she started crying [and said] that she didn\u2019t want to. Anita turned off the wheelchair and said: \u2018You are going to sit here until you apologize.\u2019 For forty-five minutes, Anita did not let the issue rest. Becky finally apologized. Yes, they have difficulties, but they still have to be menschen.\u201d<\/p>\n

The way that Anita and Douglas readily welcomed Rachel, Becky and Stephanie into their lives, their penchant for nonstop giving and the family\u2019s faith-based approach to life\u2019s bumps have made a significant impact on their community.<\/p>\n

When Noya Rackovsky, now a close friend of the Landys\u2019, first heard about the special family moving into the neighborhood she didn\u2019t expect to meet just regular people. \u201cBut, that is what they are,\u201d she says. \u201cClearly not many can do what they are doing. [Actually], it is the whole family that is doing this. It is a sacrifice on the part of the [older] children as well. While they are normal teenagers, one can see [there is] tremendous dedication to one another.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is natural for parents to wonder about their children\u2019s futures and hope that they\u2019ll live happy, productive lives. The Landys are no different; they just need to live a lot closer to the moment. \u201cWe take each day as a gift,\u201d says Anita. \u201cIf we didn\u2019t have these kids, I don\u2019t know if we would understand how wonderful it is that they can do all they are able to do. Everyone enjoys watching their children take their first steps, but when one\u2019s child had to learn [to walk] through physical therapy and finally is able to do it\u2014when one\u2019s child can\u2019t talk and then one day he can\u2014it\u2019s a miracle. I see so much in life that others don\u2019t get a chance to see. Miracles are happening in homes every day, but people don\u2019t recognize them. [Because of my children] I see miracles every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Bayla Sheva Brenner is senior writer in the OU Communications and Marketing Department.\u00a0<\/em>This article originally appeared in Jewish Action<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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