He said he would call. Yet, two days have passed since you clicked with this exciting stranger and gave him your number at your friend\u2019s birthday party. Hadn\u2019t you hit it off? Hadn\u2019t he seemed sincere? But maybe he\u2019s not interested. Could that be it? You don\u2019t want that to be it. Maybe you\u2019ll text him. No, you shouldn\u2019t text him. Maybe add him on Facebook? No\u2026maybe try to get the dirt on him from a mutual friend.<\/p>\n
It seems like everyone\u2019s playing games these days, doing whatever they can to avoid rejection and soothe their fears of abandonment. In the dating game, even though much of the responsibility to pursue falls on men, both genders often engage in the push-pull, making dating feel like strategy game.<\/p>\n
I once matched a girl named Irene with a really sweet guy named Adam. All Adam wanted was a girl who was as nice and caring as he was. I knew Irene would be a good match for him because she was sweet, too, but I also knew that she had a tendency to play games. She had read somewhere that they were effective. \u201cPromise me you won\u2019t play hard-to-get,\u201d I said. \u201cIt won\u2019t work with this guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d she said. \u201cThis time I won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Two weeks later, I called Adam to find out what he thought of Irene. He told me that not only had he not met her, he no longer had any interest in meeting her. He had called her as soon as I\u2019d given him her number, and she had told him that she was with friends and would call him back\u2026..But she didn\u2019t call him back.<\/p>\n
He tried her again the next day and got her voice mail. He left her a message. \u201cAnd?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it took her two days to return my call!\u201d Adam said. He laughed, but I could hear the annoyance in his voice. \u201cEven then, she didn\u2019t apologize for waiting so long. And then she told me she was busy until next week.\u201d He laughed again. \u201cThanks for trying, Ziva,\u201d he said, \u201cbut I can\u2019t start my life with someone who plays annoying, time-consuming games.\u201d<\/p>\n
I tried to explain to him that Irene really was a great girl, but his mind was already made up about her.<\/p>\n
Some weeks later, Irene called to tell me that she had met Adam by chance at a party. \u201cHe\u2019s so nice! I really like him!\u201d she said. \u201cI don\u2019t understand why he didn\u2019t call me back. We had great chemistry! Can you please tell him to call me?\u201d<\/p>\n
I called Adam. \u201cCan you give this another shot?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook,\u201d he said. \u201cShe\u2019s attractive. She\u2019s great. But I already know what she\u2019s about. Maybe it\u2019s my ego,\u201d he conceded, \u201cbut I can\u2019t date a girl who\u2019s so selfish and unavailable. I don\u2019t want her.\u201d<\/p>\n
What a waste! I thought. These two were probably really compatible, but silly dating games had destroyed the whole thing before it even had a chance to start.<\/p>\n
Games will inevitably sabotage a relationship. Yet people play them constantly. Why?<\/p>\n
But if you play games, you are giving up<\/p>\n
Games turn human relationships into a sporting event, and perpetuate problems on the Jewish dating<\/a> scene such as communication breakdowns, emotional unavailability, and commitment phobia. So put an end to them. Just be honest. Just be you.<\/p>\n Articles delivered through a partnership between the OU and SawYouAtSinai.<\/em><\/p>\n Ziva Kramer<\/a>– Ziva has been a matchmaker, dating coach and spiritual advisor for professional singles in New York City for many years. She gives seminars all over the country and she is well known for her inspiring, standing-room-only seminars and her \u201cno-nonsense\u201d approach to the art of romantic fulfillment. http:\/\/zivakramer.com<\/a>\/<\/em><\/p>\n SawYouAtSinai<\/a>– With over 30,000 members and over 1,200 engaged members since 2004, SawYouAtSinai is the largest Jewish matchmaking network. Through its sites JRetroMatch, which focuses on secular Jewish singles<\/a>, and SawYouAtSinai, which focuses on Yeshivish and Orthodox Jewish singles receive the personal touch of a matchmaker to facilitate each member’s unique personality & needs. Matchmakers pre-screen, select and send matches to members, and with profiles only accessible to compatible singles, privacy and discretion is maintained. With 300+ experienced matchmakers, SawYouAtSinai serves Traditional, Conservative, Yeshivish and Orthodox Jewish singles<\/a> from communities around the world. People can sign up today at SawYouAtSinai.com. Plus, find out about upcoming Jewish Singles Events<\/a> at JewishToDo.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" He said he would call. Yet, two days have passed since you clicked with this exciting stranger and gave him your number at your friend\u2019s birthday party. Hadn\u2019t you hit it off? Hadn\u2019t he seemed sincere? But maybe he\u2019s not interested. Could that be it? You don\u2019t want that to be it. Maybe you\u2019ll text<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":373,"featured_media":51591,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating"],"yoast_head":"\n
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