{"id":13221,"date":"2010-10-10T12:00:55","date_gmt":"2010-10-10T12:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/production.ou.org\/life\/other\/safety_net_failure_preventing_child_abuse\/"},"modified":"2016-11-30T06:23:41","modified_gmt":"2016-11-30T11:23:41","slug":"safety_net_failure_preventing_child_abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/parenting\/safety_net_failure_preventing_child_abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"Safety Net Failure: Preventing Child Abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"

The saddest conversation I ever had took place a few years back with an out-of-town niece. She\u2019d come to visit for a few precious days and at the end of our time together, she became quite pensive and withdrawn.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look like Atlas,\u201d I suggested, \u201cWhat is this weight of the world you seem to be carrying on such young shoulders?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like Atlas,\u201d she answered, \u201cI made a difficult decision several weeks ago and I\u2019m not sure it was the right choice\u201d.<\/p>\n

My niece, age 15 at the time, proceeded to tell me that her closest friend and classmate had come to her with a terrible confession: over a period of ten years, she had been sexually abused by an adult family member.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe swore me to silence,\u201d my niece went on, \u201cbut I realized it wasn\u2019t a promise I could live with. I decided to speak with a responsible adult in my community, someone I respect and admire. Fortunately, this adult knew how to handle it. She reported it to a domestic crisis agency and the agency intervened. They contacted the family and reported that they\u2019d been given reliable information from an anonymous source that their daughter was being abused.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe abuse stopped immediately,\u201d my niece continued, \u201cbut the family has been torn apart as a result of trying to deal with it. I don\u2019t know if I did the right thing. Do you think I did the right thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did an incredibly brave thing,\u201d I answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut at what cost?\u201d my niece responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are professional counselors who can give you a complete answer,\u201d I suggested, \u201cBut one thing you ought to understand is this; it\u2019s entirely likely that your friend was not the only victim involved in the past ten years. You\u2019ve not only saved your friend, you\u2019ve quite possibly saved others as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

But this was not the saddest part of our conversation. The saddest part came when I asked my niece why she had not chosen to turn to her parents or teachers. Her response was revealing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know if the situation would have been believed. I get the feeling that most people in my community don\u2019t think such things happen in good Orthodox Jewish families.\u201d<\/p>\n

With those words, my niece hinted at the gaping hole in the safety net of parenting that typically results when we teach our children about \u201cstranger danger\u201d and appropriate physical boundaries. What we neglect to reinforce is the idea that danger doesn\u2019t always present itself in the form of strangers. The insidious nature of child abuse is this: trust is essential to the crime. According to national statistics, 90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members.<\/p>\n

In a long overdue and unprecedented attempt to address this problem, a broad range of community based organizations are coalescing to fight child abuse and create safety and protection for children by declaring October 17 -24 \u201cNational Jewish Child Abuse Prevention Week\u201d. To promote National Week, The Jewish Board of Advocates (JBAC) is joined by the Orthodox Union and other co-sponsors including: the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA), the Rabbinical Alliance of America (Iggud HaRabbonim), the Jewish Institute Supporting an Abuse-Free Environment (JSafe), the Chicago Rabbinical Council (CRC) and Associated Talmud Torah (ATT) of Chicago.<\/p>\n

On Sunday, October 17th, Chicago will be hosting the initial seminar, \u201cProtecting our Children from Molesters\u201d with speakers scheduled to address the following issues:<\/p>\n