In our shul (and I suspect in many others) the Artscroll siddur gray box<\/b> is well known to many. Yaa\u2019aleh V\u2019yavo, Aneinu, Shir HaMa\u2019alot<\/i>, etc. For the Artscroll novice, the idea of the box is that it marks the occasional – sometimes we say it, most often we skip it.<\/p>\n
I have often thought that much of the living breathing Torah operates in the gray box. Yes, there is much that is black and white in Judaism. Yes Shabbat<\/i>, no treif<\/i>, yes tefillin<\/i>, no lashon hara<\/i>. Yet so much of Torah operates within the gray box of our lives. Halacha is replete with situations of competing values, pressing needs and complicating factors. At times we must engage in nonstandard behavior (perhaps we must speak lashon hara<\/i>, e.g. shidduch<\/i>) \u2013 because that is the call of the moment. The common denominator of these gray areas is that they require discernment, sensitivity, consultation, and reflection.<\/p>\n
Perhaps nowhere is this grayness more manifest than in the world of midot <\/i>(character traits). The Ba\u2019alei Mussar<\/i> (great ethical masters) considered midot <\/i>refinement the <\/b>essential path of clinging to God. Yet ethical refinement <\/i>is not only a great challenge, it is also a complex one. Transcending one\u2019s own natural desires is the stuff of greatness. Not eating that cake, learning patience, and exercising discretion are all transformative behaviors; figuring out when it is appropriate to eat, be impatient and throw caution to the winds is what makes the task so immensely difficult.<\/p>\n
The word itself, midah <\/i>, hints to this complexity. For a midah <\/i>is not a trait – it is a measure, connoting a particular amount or an item that must be evaluated. For every trait has its place. Kohelet teaches that \u201cwith greater wisdom there is more anger\u201d (1:18) and yet he also teaches that \u201canger resides in the fool\u2019s lap\u201d (7:9). Ibn Ezra illuminates. Anger as ire directed against the world\u2019s emptiness plays an important rule. Anger that envelopes the fool is no longer a tool, it is rather a disease. Similarly, Avraham, the quintessential ba\u2019al chesed <\/i>is summoned to quash that very midah <\/i>in akeidat <\/i>Yitzchak. Yaakov, the tam<\/i>, the simple tent dweller is forced to confront the Lavans and Eisavs of the world and to his chagrin must counter Eisav\u2019s deceit with guile.<\/p>\n
Sarah dies at 127. According to the famous midrash <\/i>(Pirke D\u2019rabbi Eliezer<\/i> 32), she is informed by the Satan that her husband is going to slaughter Yitzchak. Her soul flies away and she dies. So much is troubling about this midrash<\/i>: Why did it have to be that Sarah would die as a result of the akeidah <\/i>story? Is the Satan the purveyor of some type of cruel joke?<\/p>\n
Shnei Chayei Sarah<\/i> (23:1). These were the years of Sarah. The text, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky states, indicates that Sarah was supposed to die at 127 \u2013 this was part of the Divine game plan. This is not a punishment, it is the completion of a life well lived. Why did Hashem choose this mode of death for Sarah and what is the Satan\u2019s function? This was not Sarah\u2019s satan, it was Avraham\u2019s satan and his final test.<\/p>\n
Just consider. On his return from the akeidah, Avraham was surely going to share with his beloved partner in all things holy, Sarah, the nachat<\/i> news of the akeidah <\/i>– only to stumble upon a wife who suddenly died. Avraham either intuits or discovers that Sarah\u2019s fate is somehow linked to the akeidah<\/i>. At that moment, Avraham faces his final test \u2013 the test of regret.<\/p>\n
Regret is a powerful tool in Divine service. It forms the essence of teshuva <\/i>and is the bedrock in the repair of human relations. Love is having to say you\u2019re sorry again and again and having the courage to recognize that it is worth it. On a macro level, regret is an essential means of evaluating one\u2019s life and making the appropriate midcourse corrections. Thus, one who lives without the ability to regret is stuck. And yet, regret can be abused \u2013 for it can become a means towards regression, forcing one to revisit yesterday\u2019s battles already won.<\/p>\n
The same Avraham who (according to Rambam) finds Hashem at forty and regrets his earlier life, has to learn that now is not the time for regret. It is time to remove his satan <\/i>(as we say in the evening service) milifaneinu u\u2019meiachareinu<\/i> \u2013 the satan that lurks before the mitzvah and the one that remains behind \u2013 desperately trying to coax us to adopt the cynical expression \u201cno good deed goes unpunished\u201d.<\/p>\n
Avraham is victorious and thus paves the way for his children. May we have the strength to follow.<\/p>\n
Shabbat Shalom,\u00a0Asher Brander<\/p>\n
Rabbi Asher Brander is the Rabbi of the Westwood Kehilla, Founder\/Dean of LINK (Los Angeles Intercommunity Kollel) and is a Rebbe at Yeshiva University High Schools of Los Angeles<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In our shul (and I suspect in many others) the Artscroll siddur gray box is well known to many. Yaa\u2019aleh V\u2019yavo, Aneinu, Shir HaMa\u2019alot, etc. For the Artscroll novice, the idea of the box is that it marks the occasional – sometimes we say it, most often we skip it. I have often thought that<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":223,"featured_media":46585,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_cloudinary_featured_overwrite":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-torah"],"yoast_head":"\n