{"id":11966,"date":"2008-08-14T01:56:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-14T01:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/production.ou.org\/life\/other\/susan_schwartz_smart_or_lazy\/"},"modified":"2015-10-29T10:49:55","modified_gmt":"2015-10-29T15:49:55","slug":"susan_schwartz_smart_or_lazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/life\/inspiration\/susan_schwartz_smart_or_lazy\/","title":{"rendered":"Smart or Lazy?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"image\"<\/div>\n

Depending on how you look at it, I am either very smart or very lazy. Facing the wedding of my fifth child and the concomitant entertaining that comes with such an occasion (read Shabbos Sheva Brachos for 35); I was faced with a choice. Do I start cooking weeks before (thank God for the freezer), prepare everything from soup to nuts to impress the new in-laws, or do I cater the whole event, and come to the table relaxed and feeling almost like a guest.<\/p>\n

For the first few weddings I took the first path. Being organized by nature (I can\u2019t remember a time when I didn\u2019t have a list at the ready), I shopped, cooked, froze, prepared and served. I enjoy entertaining and let\u2019s face it; it is pretty ego boosting to have everyone talk about how competent you are to not only make a wedding but make sheva brachos for a crowd as well.<\/p>\n

This time was different. First of all, I am older. I am not sure if it makes me wiser, but it certainly makes me more tired. With another daughter giving birth and moving in just a few weeks before the wedding, and a hectic work schedule, the thought of making all the food just made me feel exhausted before I even finished writing the shopping list. So I took the cheater\u2019s way out \u2013 I talked with the local take-out place and asked them to give me a price for a whole meal \u2013 soup, fish, chicken, Kugel and vegetables. Meanwhile, my daughters, having been raised by a certified type A mother, were already busy baking challahs, cookies and cakes, and offering their services for other foods as well.<\/p>\n

Sheepishly I told them I was not really cooking anything. They looked at me aghast. You bought soup?!!! You couldn\u2019t even make fish?!!! The guilt began to ooze. Was I simply lazy? How hard is it to put some fish loaves in the oven? How much trouble is it to make a few pots of chicken soup? Friends called to offer salads. I thanked them but said it was not necessary, everything was under control. I could not admit that everything was being bought. They just assumed that my penchant for being overly organized meant that there was nothing left to make.<\/p>\n

Smart or lazy? As the day of the wedding approached, I found my lists getting shorter, and my exhaustion growing exponentially. The grandchildren arrived, and on the day of the wedding, I drove my son\u2019s Yeshiva carpool. One of the boys threw up in the car, and cleaning it up, I mused that this seemed an odd activity on the day of one\u2019s daughter\u2019s wedding. Off to the wedding hall and the flurry of activity leading to the main event flew by. Pictures, chuppah, dancing and more dancing and before we knew it the new couple was starting off on their married lives together.<\/p>\n

I woke up the day after the wedding with no energy. I had danced and danced and could not remember a wedding that I enjoyed as much as this one. I also could not remember ever feeling so physically drained. As we put up the tables and chairs for the Friday night sheva brachos, and as I set the tables and put out the placecards, all I could think was how smart I was to have ordered all the food. I could not imagine starting to cook (or even finishing what might have already been done and frozen) while still hosting all my out of town children, going to sheva brachos and juggling all the other details of the out of town guests who remained for the weekend. But the guilt still remained. Why wasn\u2019t I busy making something?<\/p>\n

Friday night arrived. My daughter\u2019s challahs were outstanding and I made sure everyone knew that all the baked goods were homemade. The soup was delicious. My mother in law asked me how many pots I had to make for such a big crowd. I was mortified \u2013 I had been caught. I told her I did not make the soup \u2013 I bought it. She was shocked. I was chagrined. After 35 years of being the consummate balabusta, the daughter in law who always made her proud, I had bought the soup<\/i>! I quickly excused myself to serve the rest of the bought food. One of the guests (a newly married sister in law to my daughter) came in to the kitchen to help. She said, \u201cI can\u2019t believe you made sheva brachos in your own house right after your daughter got married.\u201d I couldn\u2019t hold back any longer. I turned to her and said, \u201cBut I didn\u2019t make the food!\u201d Instead of recoiling in disapproval she smiled and said, \u201cSo what \u2013 you still put it all together, set up the house, put it all out \u2013 my mother could never have done that!\u201d I thanked her and thought to myself, \u201csmart or lazy?\u201d<\/p>\n

I could have made the soup and fish, and even the Kugel, and just bought the main course. For that matter, I could have done it all if I really put my mind to it. But this time around, I enjoyed the whole experience so much more, that I can only assume not cooking had something to do with it. I disappointed my mother in law, and my daughters, but for once I listened to my inner self, and overcame the guilt. On balance, I think I was pretty smart!<\/p>\n

\n

Susan Schwartz is a wife, mother and grandmother. She is the president of Davka Corporation.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Depending on how you look at it, I am either very smart or very lazy. Facing the wedding of my fifth child and the concomitant entertaining that comes with such an occasion (read Shabbos Sheva Brachos for 35); I was faced with a choice. Do I start cooking weeks before (thank God for the freezer),<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":226,"featured_media":43966,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[89,85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growth","category-inspiration"],"yoast_head":"\nSmart or Lazy? - OU Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I could have done it, but this time around, I enjoyed it so much more; not cooking had something to do with it. 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