{"id":1,"date":"2025-04-24T14:57:49","date_gmt":"2025-04-24T14:57:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/ashiva\/?p=1"},"modified":"2026-03-11T16:21:50","modified_gmt":"2026-03-11T16:21:50","slug":"the-quiet-revolution-for-single-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ou.org\/kol-echad\/the-quiet-revolution-for-single-women\/","title":{"rendered":"A Space for Single Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Yaakov Langer<\/em><\/p>\n

Hadassa Hirsch didn\u2019t set out to build a movement. She didn\u2019t sit down with a business plan, line up investors, or map out market research. What she did was open her apartment on a Wednesday night to single women.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just a few women at first. Some paint, maybe a canvas. A little art. A little laughter. Nothing formal. Nothing fancy.<\/span><\/p>\n

But from that simple act of hospitality grew something that didn\u2019t exist in the frum world until Hadassa created it: a vibrant, consistent, structured community space just for single women \u2014 not a dating service, not a support group, and not a one-time event. A space for belonging.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s called Unite.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a town like Lakewood, where weddings are daily and the pathway from seminary to motherhood is often fast-tracked, Unite quietly pushes back against the painful in-between. Against the ache of waiting. Against invisibility.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because, as Hadassa puts it, \u201cWe have schools for children. We have programs for families. But for the stage in between \u2014 where are the resources? Where are the people saying, \u2018You belong here too\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A Basement, a Vision, and a Gap No One Was Filling<\/b><\/p>\n

Hadassa and her husband got married young. \u201cI was 21. He was 22. We were living in a tiny basement, and we were hosting 10, 15 guests every Shabbos.\u201d She laughs gently as she remembers it. \u201cWe just love people. Slowly, over time, we noticed something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Women kept coming \u2014 not in pairs, not in groups, but on their own.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMen are easier to host,\u201d she explains. \u201cThey can jump into a minyan, get invited to a meal. For women, it\u2019s harder. They\u2019re more isolated.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

What started as warm Shabbos hospitality evolved into something deeper. Patterns emerged. Familiar faces returned. Conversations got real. She started to notice a troubling pattern: the emotional and spiritual impact of women living on their own with little structure or support. \u201cWhen someone\u2019s not connected to a community, the risks go up \u2014 anxiety, depression, disconnection.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She shared these concerns with community leaders. \u201cThat was the turning point,\u201d Hadassa says. \u201cWe brought a problem, but they helped us see the bigger picture.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She credits figures like Rabbi Binyomin Greenspoon of Nesivos, a noted presence in Lakewood\u2019s mental health space, as an early encourager. \u201cWhat\u2019s needed isn\u2019t just intervention \u2014 it\u2019s prevention, a positive space where women feel connected before they hit a crisis point.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So Hadassa jumped. She rented a space, furnished it, committed to a two-year lease, hired staff, and launched with three nights a week.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want this to depend on me. I didn\u2019t want it to fizzle out when life got busy. It had to be real \u2014 something women could count on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Who It\u2019s For \u2014 and Who It Isn\u2019t<\/b><\/p>\n

Unite isn\u2019t trying to be everything. It\u2019s not a Shidduch service, although it runs occasional speed dating events. It\u2019s not a mental health program, though it has significant impact on the women\u2019s emotional well-being. And it\u2019s not another Zoom class.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a place.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s for frum single women,\u201d Hadassa explains. \u201cWe divide them into age groups \u2014 18\u201321, 22 and up, 28 and up, and we also have a group for divorced women who do not have children \u2014 just so everyone can find peers who relate.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The need, she says, isn\u2019t about programming. It\u2019s about people. \u201cThese women are doing everything right. Working, showing up. But no one sees how much they\u2019re carrying. No one sees the loneliness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why Hadassa designed Unite around consistency: weekly programming, regular Shabbatons, WhatsApp chats buzzing with job listings, apartment leads, and even mechanic referrals and more. The kind of low-key, real-life support many married women get from a built-in network.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is about giving women a space where it\u2019s normal to say, \u2018Want to do Shabbos together?\u2019 or \u2018Want to go on vacation with me?\u2019 That\u2019s what many married people take for granted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The most common hesitation she hears? \u201cI want to come, but I don\u2019t know anyone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I always say \u2014 that\u2019s exactly why you should come.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Couch Convos, Cooking Nights, and Chocolate on Erev Yom Tov<\/b><\/p>\n

Unite\u2019s events are anything but cookie-cutter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, there are shiurim. But we like to call them \u201ccouch convos\u201d and designed for interaction. Hadassa invites therapists, teachers, investors, health coaches \u2014 \u201creally anyone with something to share.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And yes, there\u2019s still art like there was in the Hirsch\u2019s basement. But now there\u2019s also cooking nights, dance nights, budgeting workshops, spa nights,\u00a0 and chocolate-and-manicure outings before Yom Tov.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even Chanukah isn\u2019t overlooked \u2014 Unite opens every night for women who live alone to come and light together. Because the hardest days, Hadassa says, are the joyful ones. \u201cYom Tov. Purim. Breaking a fast. They\u2019re meant to be full of people. Full of love. But when you\u2019re alone, those are the days that ache the most.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unite makes sure no one lights alone. No one breaks fasts alone. No one walks into Pesach or Purim or a long Shabbos with just silence. \u201cIt\u2019s not therapy,\u201d she clarifies. \u201cIt\u2019s just people. Together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They Dance Out the Door<\/b><\/p>\n

When women get engaged, they\u2019re not \u201ckicked out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019re celebrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe tell them \u2014 we\u2019re dancing you out the door. Come until your wedding. We\u2019ll be there. We\u2019ll dance with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Unite alumni are still invited to special events. They get baby gifts. They stay on the chat. \u201cSome say they drive by the building and just miss it,\u201d Hadassa shares. \u201cThey\u2019re happy \u2014 but they remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And while Hadassa is flooded with requests to expand \u2014 to married women, to other life stages \u2014 she\u2019s disciplined about her mission.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I try to do everything, I\u2019ll get nowhere. Right now, my job is to be here for the in-between. For the stage no one else is addressing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There are branches now in Florida and Detroit. Others in Five Towns and beyond are in touch. But Hadassa is cautious. \u201cIf it opens, it has to last. Consistency is everything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More Than Just Social \u2014 A Lifeline of Belonging<\/b><\/p>\n

Hadassa often hears the same refrain: \u201cWhy is she still single?\u201d Or worse \u2014 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with her?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Unite reframes the entire experience of being single \u2014 not as a flaw to be fixed but as a stage to be supported. And in doing so, it removes the sting of judgment and replaces it with dignity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThese women want what everyone wants,\u201d Hadassa says. \u201cCompanionship, purpose,\u00a0 belonging. And they deserve to feel part of something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That sense of belonging is more than emotional \u2014 it\u2019s built into the structure of Unite itself. While the programming is available to all, they decide how much they want to give a month; some pay nothing at all. Membership is designed not as a barrier, but as a bridge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s technically optional,\u201d Hadassa explains, \u201cbut most women choose to pay. We want them to feel like this isn\u2019t a handout \u2014 it\u2019s their community. Something they\u2019re a part of, not something being done for them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The model works. Membership not only assists with the practical costs of running such a consistent program, but it also deepens commitment, ownership, and connection. It reinforces the idea that showing up here isn\u2019t just charity \u2014 it\u2019s investment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Quiet Power of Community<\/b><\/p>\n

Hadassa Hirsch doesn\u2019t see herself as a hero. She doesn\u2019t use words like visionary. She uses words like \u201cPractical.\u201d \u201cWholesome.\u201d \u201cConsistent.\u201d But behind those words is a quiet revolution. A refusal to let anyone fall through the cracks. A declaration that the stage of waiting deserves as much dignity and celebration as any other. And a belief that one day, Unite won\u2019t be a novelty.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOne day,\u201d she says, \u201cpeople will say: \u2018Of course our community has this. How could it not?\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Until then, Hadassa and her team will keep showing up \u2014 every week, every Yom Tov, every couch convo and cooking night \u2014 holding space for the women in between, and making sure they know:<\/span><\/p>\n

They are not alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

To sign up for the Kol Echad Limited Series E-Magazine, click here: https:\/\/www.ou.org\/kolechademail\/<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"Yaakov Langer is the founder of Living L\u2019chaim and the \u201cInspiration for the Nation,\u201d where he interviews a wide range of Jewish voices around the world. His platform has grown to over 1.6 million subscribers through consistent, thoughtful content and guest selection. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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