Master Matchmaker Fellowship: Turning Passion for Shidduchim Into Success

by Rebbetzin Dr. Efrat Sobolofsky

Most matchmakers never planned to become matchmakers. They make one suggestion, it works, and suddenly friends begin calling to ask if they know of others to set up. Before long, they are accumulating profiles, notes, making introductions, losing sleep over daters they would like ideas for, and wondering whether they are really doing this right. 

What if more people had not only the heart for this work, but the skills to match? Shidduchim are too important to rely upon good intentions alone.

In recent years, many matchmakers have begun asking similar questions: How can I expand my network and make more targeted suggestions? Which skills do I need to improve to be more successful? How can I maximize results?

To address these needs, YUConnects, with support from the Kol Echad Department of the OU, developed the Master Matchmaker Fellowship (MMF), a program designed to provide structured training, mentorship, and peer collaboration for both new and experienced matchmakers.

Recent findings from an Orthodox Union (OU) study show that respondents who married between 2010 and 2023 were far more likely than those in previous decades to have had a matchmaker involved at some point during their courtship. Traditionally, matchmakers are engaged to meet with daters and suggest potential matches. Increasingly, however, daters are also turning to experienced matchmakers to facilitate introductions that were originally suggested by friends or family, believing the process will be more effective with professional guidance.

Whether matchmakers are generating match ideas themselves or helping advance introductions proposed by others, their growing involvement tells an important story: matchmakers are playing an increasingly significant role in helping people build Jewish homes.

At the same time, the research reveals three major challenges:

1. Demand exceeds capacity. There are simply not enough matchmakers with enough time to meet the growing need.
2. Training is limited. Many people involved in making shidduchim are deeply caring and committed but do not have access to formal training or mentorship.
3. Professional development is lacking. Even experienced matchmakers need opportunities to sharpen their skills, learn new approaches, and grow alongside peers.

There is another critical piece to this picture: The research finds many marriages are suggested by a friend or family member, who are not official matchmakers. These “dabblers” care deeply and want to contribute meaningfully, but they, too, need guidance on how to best bring their match ideas to fruition.

The fellowship was designed for a broad audience, from dabblers to seasoned matchmakers. Virtual modules are taught by experienced matchmakers, therapists, coaches, and rabbinic authorities. Topics range from practical systems for organizing information efficiently to learning how to build trust with their daters.

One of the most important elements of effective matchmaking is networking. Successful matchmakers need trusted colleagues with whom they can brainstorm, consult, and collaborate. This is why the fellowship’s cohort-based structure is so valuable. Beyond the formal curriculum, participants build meaningful and productive relationships and expand their matchmaking networks.

The two recent pilot cohorts included participants from across the United States, Canada, and Israel. The fellowship’s goal is more than simply training individual matchmakers to be more effective, but to cultivate a more successful matchmaking community.

What Participants Are Saying

The impact of the fellowship is best expressed by those who experienced it firsthand:

“I use the content I gained all the time. As I speak with people, different things pop into my head, and I know I got it from here.”

“I’ve used probably dozens of tips from this fellowship just in the last 72 hours. I feel more confident in my ability to guide the singles in my network.”

“I learned so much — from your organizational suggestions to how to phrase things. I now have more couples dating than I did before I took this course.”

These reflections highlight something powerful: when matchmakers feel equipped having the right training and tools, they can immediately put them into practice and maximize their effectiveness.

Looking Ahead

If we want to strengthen the matchmaking ecosystem, we need to invest in the people doing this essential work. Matchmaking is some of the most personalized, thoughtful, and impactful work in our community, and those who dedicate themselves to it deserve meaningful support. The Master Matchmaker Fellowship was created to meet this need. More than a training program, it is an investment in both new and experienced matchmakers gifting them the skills, structure, mentorship, and peer network to succeed and grow.

As demand for thoughtful introductions and relationship facilitation continues to increase, the fellowship is expanding the community of people equipped to make targeted matches. By developing matchmakers and strengthening their connections to one another, the Master Matchmaker Fellowship is expanding the infrastructure that supports more opportunities for people to find meaningful connections and foster long lasting marriages.

Chazal teach, Kol haboneh bayis echad b’Yisrael k’ilu banah achas mei’churbos Yerushalayim – one who helps build a Jewish home is considered as though they have rebuilt one of the ruins of Jerusalem. Every successful shidduch represents not only the beginning of a new family, but a priceless contribution to the future of the Jewish People. By investing in matchmakers, we are investing in countless future homes, families, and generations yet to come.