A Conversation with Stacey Zrihen
You know you are speaking to someone who accomplishes a lot when they start their conversation with, “I have 37 minutes to talk as my car drives me to my next meeting.”
Stacey Zrihen is the senior director of coaching for the Orthodox Union’s Living Smarter Jewish and Achiezer’s Westwood Management Program. She oversees LSJ’s many financial coaches and usually takes on the most difficult cases. Unflappable and passionate, she describes teaching financial literacy as a calling that started at a very young age.
“Before walking into a store, my father would ask me to try to think of how much our purchases would cost.” They’d shop and then on the way home discuss what the actual costs were. Sometimes she was right and sometimes she was way off, but the lesson stuck – finances do not have to be a mystery, it’s something you can control.
Listening to her speak, I start to see how budgeting doesn’t have to be a tedious task, but rather a means to take ownership of a most fundamental part of who we are. Our Sages use the term damim to describe finances, the same term used for our lifeblood, and for good reason. Inasmuch as we aspire to a spiritual life, our finances and our relationship with them are a fundamental part of who we are. Taking control of how we spend, or simply developing a deeper awareness of how we spend without even making any changes, is one of the many ways we can take control of our lives.
Some people turn to LSJ because they are overwhelmed by the costs of Orthodox Jewish life, others are drowning in debt, but financial literacy is for everyone. “Think of financial health no different than you think about your physical wellbeing,” she tells me as she sits in traffic. Physical wellness is trending. People are more conscientious about the food they eat, and more Orthodox men and women are hitting the gym than ever. LSJ’s growing popularity is a sign that financial wellness is taking off as well.
The focus of our conversation is financial planning for men and women who are single. A study by the Orthodox Union on divorced women highlighted the financial vulnerability of single mothers. While all the women in the study were employed, half of them were making less than $35,000 a year. Anecdotally, we know that many single men are struggling as well. Speaking to a knowledgeable coach can help shave off some costs by being connected to resources or learning valuable tips.
I wondered if there were unique challenges beyond making ends meet that single men and women may face. “YES!” Stacey exclaims. “The loneliness of having no one to speak to exacerbates the issue.” Studies have shown how valuable having a partner can be in overcoming a challenge. Someone who is married has a partner with whom to share the fear of a monthly deficit; someone on their own must face the unknown without that valuable emotional support. This is where a financial coach can make all the difference. A financial coach acts as a confidante, a partner to discuss the fears and concerns of financial planning, who is always well-equipped to recommend potential solutions.
Having a financial coach is not a panacea, sometimes no matter what is done, the individual or family may still be left with a monthly deficit, but there is still immense value in having a coach. A financial coach cannot solve everyone’s issues but even letting someone know that they are doing everything they can is very reassuring. “I have almost never met with anyone who felt like it was a waste of time.”
We spoke about many single men and women who feel like they are in limbo, waiting to get married. Some who are blessed to take home a nice paycheck never spend it as they want to save it for their married life. I wondered if this was the right approach. Stacey once again brought it back to physical wellbeing. “Imagine a person dieting who decides to only eat 600 calories a day. They’ll lose a lot of weight, but they’ll be miserable. You could put away all your money and have a real nice nest egg, but at what cost to your overall wellbeing?” In other words, singlehood, for some, may be a great opportunity to save, but it’s also valuable to live right now. If a single man or woman is not in debt and has reasonable savings set aside, using the excess to enjoy themselves is more than fine, it’s important. Being that this stage in life can be especially challenging, taking time for oneself or even buying something a little more luxurious, can provide a much-needed respite.
As Stacey pulls into her parking spot, she reiterates how everyone, regardless of their marital or financial status, can benefit from a financial coach. LSJ, a project of the Orthodox Union, provides free financial coaching to meet each person’s unique life circumstance. Singlehood, with its inherent loneliness and potential financial challenges, is certainly no exception. 37 minutes is all we needed; Stacey had me sold. Gaining financial literacy is not a task, it’s an incredible opportunity to take control of one’s life and face life’s inevitable challenges with confidence.
To find a no-charge financial coach suitable to your needs, please email info@livingsmarterjewish.org
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