MISC section - contents: [1] From the virtual desk of the OU VEBBE REBBE Q: I remember back that at my chupah the mesader kiddushin noticed a problem with our ketuba after it was signed, and fixed something within its text. Might the ketuba be invalid for having been tampered with, and thus is there a problem being together with my wife in the absence of a proper ketuba? A: Certain small changes that do not affect the ketuba’s content can be made freely even after the ketuba was signed (see Mishpat Ketuba 12:5.2). Other changes can be made and noted under the signatures (see Choshen Mishpat 44) but only if the witnesses verify the changes by signing again. If this is done improperly, the document is valid and the additions are disregarded. This process can be complicated and all things being equal (they are not always) it pays to write a new ketuba. A couple should assume, after selecting a competent mesader kiddushin, that its ketuba is valid. We discourage looking for problems or showing it to greater authorities to feel more confident. However, after reviewing your specific account [whose details we do not desire to share with the public], we agree you have a serious question and advise as follows. According to significant authorities, the ketuba would have been valid b’dieved without the change. Yet, the change that you understand was made apparently did change its effectiveness. Classical poskim discuss a parallel case, where a document contained a false (early date) or forbidden (a clause of usury) matter. According to the Shulchan Aruch (CM 43:7) the document is partially valid if the witnesses acted out of ignorance, whereas according to the Rama (ad loc.), a penalty prevents the document’s beneficiary from using it at all. This case is different in certain ways, such as the fact that despite possible procedural impropriety (putting words into the witnesses’ mouths), all of the information found in the ketuba is true and valid. Although under certain circumstances, by enlisting the witnesses even well after the wedding, an invalid ketuba can be salvaged, sometimes it must be rewritten discretely (as is preferable to avoid embarrassing the mesader kiddushin). There is a special text for such a replacement ketuba, which takes the old obligation and reinvigorates its status of being accompanied by a written document. The intricacies of your case do not allow us to give you a quick answer whether this is necessary. We can refer the matter to our full committee to decide, or you can take the matter to a halachic expert of your choice. Let us discuss the interim. It is true that a woman may not live with her husband without the obligation engendered in a ketuba. The matter is based on the need that she have at least a basic level of security in her relationship’s stability (Ketubot 39b). It is not the document per se that is important. Therefore, when there are witnesses to the obligation, although a ketuba document should be written, many authorities allow the couple to be together in the interim (Rama, EH 66:1). The situation is significantly improved in our times where for a variety of reasons (including the ban on divorcing a woman without her consent) women do not view the ketuba document as the significant impediment to divorce. For this reason, the Tzitz Eliezer (XIX 39) does not require a couple who cannot find their ketuba to obtain a new one when they are not sure it is lost or rush to arrange one immediately when it is lost. Likewise, since we are far from sure that your ketuba is invalid, any pangs of conscience in the meantime are unnecessary and unhealthy. Furthermore, it is best not to worry your wife with this question before it is resolved. The Minchat Yitzchak (IX 139) ruled that a couple can live together when the ketuba contained a mistake that only a scholar would uncover. That is because the wife, feeling assured that her ketuba is valid, has the basic level of sense of security that Chazal mandated. Thus, raising the problem just complicates the matter. Ask the Rabbi Q&A is part of Hemdat Yamim, the weekly parsha sheet published by Eretz Hemdah. You can read this section or the entire Hemdat Yamim at www.ou.org or www.eretzhemdah.org. And/or you can receive Hemdat Yamim by email weekly, by sending an email to info@eretzhemdah.org with the message: Subscribe/English (for the English version) or Subscribe/Hebrew (for the hebrew version). Please leave the subject blank. Ask the Vebbe Rebbe is partially funded by the Jewish Agency for Israel [2] Candle by Day [3] CHIZUK and IDUD (for Olim & not-yet-Olim respectively) The tale told by the servant is cleverly crafted and modified by him with subtle changes, in order to elicit the required response from Lavan and Betu'el: "From God has this come forth, we cannot speak unto you bad or good." Indeed Avraham's messenger skillfully fulfilled his task, his story is worthy of the coverage that the Torah gives it, and this verse appears to be the climax of the mission. The next morning, however, it turns out that Lavan and family do not intend to let Rivka go so quickly. The case is still wide open. Could it be that Lavan figured that he could still bargain a better deal out of the servant? Whatever it may be, Rivka is called in, and the family, expectantly, put the question to her: "Will you go with this man?" Now we are at the "moment of truth," and it all hinges upon Rivka's response! Is this young girl prepared to forgo the security and the comfort of her childhood home, in order to spend the rest of her life in a far-away land called Canaan, to build her own family and future with an as-yet unmet man called Yitzhak? Rivka does not hesitate for a moment. She gives her pure and brave answer in one word: "Eilech!" I shall go! Rivka is the one who brings this mission to its successful conclusion, however instrumental the servant may have been. She is the true heroine of this parasha and a role-model for her descendants everafter. Prof. Joseph S. Bodenheimer, Jerusalem [4] Wisdom and Wit A number of years later, when this politician ran for office, he came to R’ Elchanan and asked for his help in the elections. Feeling that the man was totally inappropriate for public office and could cause much more harm than good, R’ Elchanan refused to help in any way in the man’s election. His failure to help the man meant that R’ Elchanan might yet be deported, but he refused to change his mind. “I am indeed deeply indebted to that man,” explained R’ Elchanan, “but that is a personal obligation of mine. That obligation does not extend to helping a blatantly inappropriate person be elected. As to any danger which might arise as far as I am concerned, I place my trust in Hashem.” Shmuel Himelstein has written a wonderful series for ArtScroll: Words of Wisdom, Words of Wit; A Touch of Wisdom, A Touch of Wit; and "Wisdom and Wit" — available at your local Jewish bookstore (or should be). [5] Portion for the Portion by Rakel Berenbaum - FEEDback to berenbau@actcom.net.il According to OZNAYIM LATORAH, this was because the death of Sara was a terrible loss to the whole world. She had been on a higher prophetic level than Avraham, she had fed all the passers by who entered their tent, and she taught them the ways of Hashem. Avraham, as the "father of many nations", thought of the general loss first and his personal tears for Sara were "small" compared to the tears of all those who also lost Sara. The first meal served to the mourner after the burial of a loved one is brought by the community. They make sure that he doesn't wallow in his grief and forget to eat (prisha) and console him by showing him that others care about him and he has what to live for (Rabe'nu B'chaya). This meal consists of hard boiled eggs or legumes. These foods are both round, symbolizing the cycle of life, and both "don't have a mouth" like the mourner who is silent due to his mourning. The egg also hints to the continuation of life because chicks are hatched from just such eggs (Minhagei Yeshurun). Egg and Chickpea salad Dressing Combine the garbanzo beans, tomatoes, eggs, and onion in a large bowl. Mix the dressing ingredients in a jar or a small bowl and pour over salad. Sprinkle on chopped parsley. [6] Parsha Points to Ponder - CHAYEI SARA 2) Why does the Torah say (25:7) AND THESE ARE THE YEARS OF THE LIFE OF AVRAHAM and then add the seemingly superfluous words ASHER CHAI (that he lived)? 3) The Torah relates AND SHE (Rivka) FINISHED GIVING HIM (Eliezer) TO DRINK before she moved onto feeding the camels. Wouldn't it have been more accurate to state AND HE FINISHED TO DRINK since Eliezer was the one doing the drinking and she presumably waited for him to finish drinking before moving on? THESE ARE THE ANSWERS 1) The Beit HaLevi answers that Eliezer assessed the situation and realized that Lavan and Betuel would be proud to have Rivka marry the son of Avraham who was a man of great prestige. However, any focus on the fact that Yitzchak. himself, was special and a man of G-D would detract from their excitement for the match. They wanted the prestige of this marriage without any spiritual expectations from Rivka. Thus, Eliezer focused on the fact that Avraham wanted a suitable wife for his son without any focus on who that son actually was. 2) The Vilna Gaon explains that these extra words teach that Avraham lived shorter than he was supposed to live (see Rashi to 25:30). This was not the number of years initially determined for him but they ended up being the number of years THAT HE LIVED. The same words are used regarding Adam HaRishon (5:5) and the same concept of living a shorter life than originally applied to him as well (see Bamidbar Rabbah 14:12). 3) The Or HaChayim suggests that this language captures that Rivka brought the water all the way to Eliezer's mouth to insure that he would have to put forth minimal effort after his long travels. Thus, even when he was drinking, it was really Rivka giving him to drink. Parsha Points to Ponder is prepared by Rabbi Dov Lipman, who teaches at Reishit Yerushalayim, Tiferet, and Machon Maayan in Beit Shemesh and RBS and is the author of "DISCOVER: Answers for Teenagers (and adults) to Questions about the Jewish Faith",just re-published by Feldheim, ppp@israelcenter.co.il [7] Torah KidBits by Yaffa Ganz Parshat Chayei Sara begins with the death of Sara Imeinu - Avraham's faithful and loving wife, his help-mate, partner and friend. When Sara died in the city of Chevron, Avraham looked for a fitting and holy place to bury her. The place he found was a very special cave in the field of Efron the Chiti. The Midrash tells us that this was the cave where Adam and Chava, the first two people in the world, were buried! When Avraham asked to buy the cave, Efron said he wouldn't think of taking money. After all, Avraham was a prince! "I am honored to give it to you as a gift! Take the field and take the cave!" But Avraham did not want any gifts from Efron. He wanted to buy the field, to pay full price, and to make this a proper, lawful purchase which would belong to his children for all time. The Torah repeats six different times that the Me'arat Hamachpela was fully paid for. It is mentioned five times in Chayei Sarah, and a sixth time many years later, when Yaakov Avinu commands his son Yosef to bury him in the Me'arah. Why was is it so important for the Torah to tell us this over and over again? First of all, Avraham wanted everyone to know that he bought the cave legally, in open daylight, in front of everyone in the city. Then no one could come later on and say that the field was not really his. Secondly, he knew sometimes the people who give gifts will expect something in return. A "free" gift can be very expensive! Two other very important places in Eretz Yisrael were also bought for full price (no bargains or sales in the Torah!) in full view of witnesses. One was Kever Yosef - the burial place of Yosef in Shechem. The second was Har HaBayit - the site where the Beit HaMikdash would be built. David bought the field from Aravna HaYevusi even though Aravna offered it to him free of charge. And so even though Hashem Himself gave the Land to Am Yisrael, these three places - three of the holiest places in Eretz Yisrael - the Me'arat Hamachpela in Chevron, Kever Yosef in Shechem, and Har HaMoriya where the Beit HaMidash stood (and will stand again) - were also bought and paid for in full by the fathers of the Jewish People so that everyone would know that they indeed belong only to us. Something to Think About: And yet we see that these three places are the most disputed places in Eretz Yisrael between the children of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov and the children of Yishmael (the Arabs). Why do you think this is this so? By the way, in case you were wondering what the name "Me'arat Hamachpela" means, Machpela comes from the Hebrew word KAFUL - double. One of reasons it was called the "Double Cave" was perhaps because four couples ("doubles") were buried there - Adam and Chava, Avraham and Sarah, Yitzchak and Rivka, Yaakov and Leah. This parsha begins with the death of Sara and ends with the death of Avraham. Every year, thousands of Jews come to the Me'arat Hamachpela on Parshat Chayei Sara .They come to daven, hear the parsha, and ask Hashem to watch over and bless the children of Avraham and Sara, Yitzchak and Rivka, Yaakov and Leah - all of whom are buried, together with Adam and Chava - in the Double Cave - the Me'arat Hamachpela. [8] MicroUlpan [9] FYI... [10] Divrei Menachem So Eliezer lives in the spirit of the Judaic ethical tradition in which justice is conducted with righteousness and charity awarded justly. However, in the account of Eliezer's mission are featured two other attributes, Chesed and Emet, that clue us into other moral imperatives that inform our Jewish way of life. In thanking Hashem for facilitating his task, Eliezer proclaims: "Blessed is Hashem - Who has not withheld His kindness and truth" (ibid 24:27) and in assessing his situation with Lavan and Betu'el, Eliezer seeks to know if they also, "intend to act with kindness and truth (Chesed Ve'emet)" (ibid 24:49). For Ibn Ezra, Chesed is the unobligated act associated with Emet that reflects permanent faith in Hashem. For Rav Hirsch, truth is necessary to temper mercy. And for the prophet Hoshea, all the above ethical qualities are ways of serving G-d, as is written: "I will betroth you to me in righteousness, in justice, in kindness, and in mercy. And I will betroth you to me in faithfulness and you shall know Hashem" (Hoshea 2:21-22). [The Parshat Chayei Sara Homepage]
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