Say it clearly... and mean it The Gemara says that even though Eliezer did not "ask" properly, he was answered well. With his plan, he could have gotten an inappropriate shiduch for Yitzchak, but G-d sent him the right girl. Rambam takes this criticism of Eliezer one significant step further. In the Laws of Idolatry, Rambam discusses various (forbidden) occult arts, including omens and "signs". His example of "setting signs" is saying that if such- and-such happens, then I will do something... like Eliezer, servant of Avraham did. Rambam seems to consider Eliezer's act as forbidden, not just a little off. Commentaries disagree with the Rambam and point to several factors in Eliezer's action that combine to make it acceptable behavior. First, he calls upon G-d for kindness and help. Second, his choice of a sign is not arbitrary, but a test of Chesed, kindness, a trait that fits with the kind of person that Avraham would choose for Yitzchak. Giving a stranger is one thing, but watering ten thirsty camels is quite another. She also offers hospitality to Eliezer and his retinue. And even when he sees Rivka doing exactly what he said in his plea to G-d, the Torah tells us that he was not sure this was the right girl until he found out that she was from Avraham's family. A pretty good test of character, yet he still could have ended up with the wrong girl. There is an old joke (which gave rise to a whole genre of jokes) about a genie granting the wish of a candy store owner (the old type with a soda fountain) for a vacation, including that the genie would mind the store until the owner's return. A customer came in and said: "Make me a malted" To which the genie answered: "Puff, you are a malted". Not exactly what the customer had in mind, becoming a malted rather than being served one. But that's what happens when a person does not ask or speak clearly and properly. Yiftach got into trouble for making a poorly-worded promise. Yaakov Avinu said something he definitely didn't mean to Lavan, which resulted in an untimely death of Rachel. Reuven, Moshe Rabeinu, and others said things they didn't exactly mean - and they are criticized for their words. On the other hand, there is a concept in the realm of Nedarim (promises, oaths, vows) that it is important to know what a person had in mind when he said what he said. The binding nature of the promise depends on it; whether hatarat nedarim is possible depends on it; whether the neder is even considered a real neder or not, depends upon what the person said AND what he meant. Bottom line (for here in this issue of Torah Tidbits only - the topic itself needs a lot more extensive treatment): One should think before he speaks, think again before he speaks, say things clearly, say what you mean and mean what you say. Whether or not Eliezer acted properly or not, we have a special lesson to learn from him. [The Parshat Chayei Sara Homepage]
|
