Hopefully... CLEARING THE AIR
Last week’s Lead Tidbit generated some strong feedback and criticism.

First, I would like to thank those who called in and emailed their comments (even the very caustic ones). If I take compliments to heart, then I have to accept and appreciate the criticism as well. TT Reader feedback is important to us.

Sincere apologies to anyone whose feelings and sensitivities were hurt.

That certainly was not the intention of the piece. The “target” of my comments were the acts themselves, NOT the people who do them. That might sound strange, but the intention was not to judge individuals - which is why the phrase “intentional or otherwise” was oft-repeated - but to point out a “sad irony” (this is the replacement for “mockery”, which is felt to be too harsh a term) in certain acts.

I have often mentioned in TT and in shiurim, that the phenomenon of TV show hosts greeting their Friday night audiences with “Shabbat Shalom” is at the same time vexing and encouraging. Vexing, because in the ideal Torah society, there shouldn’t be TV broadcasts or TV watchers on Friday night. Encouraging, because Shabbat is not completely negated by those who don’t completely observe it in the traditional manner. I personally feel the same way about people who play an old Jan Pierce recording of the Pesach Seder at their Seder table. And I feel the same way with fellow Jews who light Shabbat candles and/or make Kiddush but do not observe Shabbat.

Judaism is NOT an all-or-nothing religion. I would never discourage a person from making Kiddush on Shabbat, even though he or she was not otherwise observant.

Nonetheless, I find the ACT of lighting candles when it is already Shabbat to be a sad irony. Not that the person lighting the candles intends any insult to Shabbat whatsoever; but I personally find it particularly sad.

So too, in the following scenario... Woman, observant, etc. lights candles (at the proper time) and at the Shabbat table has a knock-down drag-out loud argument with her husband. Curses are exchanged, children cry to see their parents fight so; no semblance of Shalom Bayit in that home. Do you not feel the “sad irony” that Shabbat candles are supposed to be more than just striking a match, lighting a bunch of candles, and mumbling a bracha (and maybe a prayer)? I’m not suggesting that this woman should not light candles, but rather that she and her husband should see beyond the candles to the intent of our Sages and the beautiful meaning of Shabbat candles in their role of enhancing Shalom Bayit.

The purpose of the Chanuka part of the comments in last week’s Lead Tidbit, was not to say to people who “just” light Chanuka candles that they are not doing anything of value. Or course they are. The comments were addressed to people who are observant of Torah and Mitzvot, to encourage them to apply the meaning behind the mitzva of Chanuka candles to their own lives. Don’t just light the candles, but take the miracles of the victory and the oil and recommit to a life of Torah values and mitzvot, and appreciate the celebration of renewed Jewish sovereignty in the time of the Chashmona’im... and in our own time.

I am deeply sorry that my point came across so clumsily as to be construed as disparaging less observant Jews. It was meant to encourage all Jews - especially those already committed to Torah - to internalize the message and purpose of mitzvot, not just their motions.

Should Jews who are not Shomer Shabbat light Shabbat candles? Of course. Should they light them even on Shabbat? I don’t think so. Should they be ridiculed for it? Definitely not. Should Torah observant Jews love those who are not observant? Of course. Should we be satisfied that many Jews don’t keep mitzvot? No. Should we search for ways to encourage, influence, and teach in a non-judgmental and pleasant way? Always. That is part of what the Israel Center is, despite the perceived preachy tone sometimes found in TT.

A “little” more...
Picture a poster campaign for buying “Blue & White”. The posters scream “buy local Israeli products. Help the economy - support local businesses. In tiny print at the right side of each poster, near the bottom, it says: PRINTED IN ENGLAND. That WOULD be mocking the intent of the poster campaign.

If the chairman of the campaign ate Hershey’s chocolate bars rather than one of the domestic brands, or drank imported wine, that would be contradictory behavior, but not on the level of the posters being printed abroad. That was the point (attempted) made last week. No judgment of the individual intended; just pointing out the irony of the situation.

Here’s one more. Many years ago, when I was youth director in a shul in “the old country”, our group was precluded from ice skating at a nearby rink because the boys wore kipot, and the place had a rule against wearing headgear. They claimed that hats, etc. that could fall onto the ice posed a safety hazard to other skaters. We filed a suit with the State Division of Human Rights (and won - but that’s irrelevant to the purpose of telling this story). The lawyer, Jewish lawyer, religious Jewish lawyer who pleaded our case and explained to the judge the significance of an Orthodox Jew’s wearing a kipa, sat there without a kipa. I don’t think he was mocking anything, but you have to see the “irony” (or whatever you want to call it) in that scene. It was surprising that we won the suit.

TT readers who did not read last week’s lead tidbit, or those who did not take exception to it, are asked to excuse us for spending so much time and space on this issue. We felt that those who were upset by last week’s piece deserved our best efforts to (hopefully) clear the air.