The last lesson dealt with discrepancies ino sales. Sometimes there are discrepancies between the advertised condition of the thing sold and its actual condition. These discrpenaices usualy come about by misleading words, whether intentionally or inadvertently. We shall commence with a few laws of misuse of speech in other areas of personal life, such as insulting and abusing people with speech. The moral and ethical standards regarding slander are very, very high, and it is indeed very difficult according to halachah standards not to slander a person when talking either to him or about him. This is a central theme of most ethical and moral works dealing with Jewish values.

It is often worse to abuse a person with words than with a deceitful sale. The impact of the words cannot be easily erased, while in the case of a sale, the deceit can often be rectified with a money payment.

The story is told of a person, Reuven, who was publicly insulted by Shimon. Before Yom Kippur, Shimon had second thoughts and went to Reuven privately to ask for forgiveness. On Yom Kippur a person is forgiven by God only for sins that he commits against God. God does not forgive sins committed by man against his fellow man unless the sinner asks for forgiveness from the man that he wronged by deeds and/or words. Reuven told Shimon that he would forgive him, but first Shimon had to bring a pillow full of feathers to Reuven's house. Shimon could not comprehend why Reuven had made this request, but in order to be forgiven, Shimon hurried home and took such a pillow to Reuven. Reuven took the pillow into the street where the wind was blowing and proceeded to cut a slit in the pillowcase and to let all of the feathers fly out and be blown away by the wind. Reuven told Shimon that as soon as he had gathered up all of the feathers and returned them to Reuven, Reuven would forgive him.

A public insult is very hard to erase in the minds of those who heard it. The private apology does not erase the harm done by the public insult. Even if the misuse of words is privately done, there can be a great impact on the person insulted or deceived. Thus, if Shimon insults Reuven privately, there can still be tremendous harm to Reuven who is sensitive to Shimon's words. The Torah prohibits the misuse of words that results in harm to others when it states: And you shall not wrong one another,' but you shall fear thy God; For I am the Lord your God. The verse cited adds the words "For I am the Lord your God" to teach that God knows what was the intent of the words, even if the person mouthing the words pleads that he meant no harm or even meant it for the victim's good.

The Talmud states that if one publicly shames another person, the perpetrator loses his share in the world to come. Also, if one cries out to God because he is a victim of verbal abuse, God immediately responds to his cries. In fact, shaming one is tantamount to killing him, because it causes the victim's blood to flow when it drains from his face, The truth of the state- ment is not a defense to the transgression of the Torah injunction. There is, according to Torah law, no flogging administered for the violation of this law because the transgression does not entail a physical act by the transgressor, just words. However, it is a Rabbinic decree that such a transgressor should be flogged.

There are thousands of examples, we cite just a few. One must not pretend interest in purchasing an item when he really has no intention to purchase the item. The seller is mislead into anticipating a sale; also, the seller may lose a sale to another customer while he is talking to the person who really has no interest in purchasing. The converse also holds true. For example, suppose a seller advertises that he is selling an item for a low price and does not disclose that he has only a limited number of that item in stock, and the customer is disappointed when he arrives and finds the item is not available. Also, if a seller advertises that his product can do things that it really cannot do, the seller transgresses the Torah commandment not to mislead. (However, one may go into a store to price an item for the purpose of comparison shopping, but should advise the salesperson, I am only looking to see prices and quality etc.).

It is prohibited to mislead a person verbally by pretending to do something for him when in reality, the thing done is not for him.

In transgressions against one's fellow, the halachah recognizes no distinction as to who the victim is; the transgression is the same. For example, there is no distinction between the victim of a robbery or assault for the robber; the transgression is the same.

However, in the case of abuse by words, the Talmud, citing verses in the Torah, shows that certain persons are probably more sensitive than others and need more protection; the transgression is greater in their cases.
Proselytes are especially protected by the law of abuse. A proselyte should not be told, "Remember the days of your ancestors." As stated in Shulhan Aruch, "A person must be extremely careful concerning abuse of a proselyte, whether to his person or to his property, because the warning regarding harming him appears many times in the Torah." The Torah gives thirty-six (or, some say, 48) warnings not to wrong a proselyte.

Wives are especially protected against verbal abuse, since the husband's abuse of his wife may bring her to tears. God is attentive to the tears of wives. One must always be careful to honor his wife because blessings rest on a man's home only on account of his wife. Similarly, one's children should not be subjected to verbal abuse, except possibly to inculcate norms of behavior in them if it cannot be done in any other manner.

If a person is suffering personal calamities, he should not be spoken to as did the friends of Job who said to him, "Remember, I pray thee, who ever perished, being innocent?"

A person who is penitent should not be reminded of his previous sinful ways.

One who calls another by an insulting name or epithet has no portion in the World to Come. Even if the victim is already used to such an insulting name, the shamer is guilty if his intent is to shame the victim.

One should not taunt a person if he has so little learning that he cannot answer a question that has been posed; nor ask him a question that he knows the person cannot possibly answer.

There is an opinion that if one abuses himself by his conduct, then if others abuse him, they have not violated the prohibition. For example, if a person acts in a wicked way, he is not protected by the commandment not to abuse him.

The subject matter of this lesson is more fully presented in Volume VII Chapters 228 of"A Restatement of Rabbinic Civil Law" by E. Quint, published by Jason Aronson, Inc. and on sale at local Judaica bookstores. • Questions to quint@inter.net.il

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