Looking Back on a Rough Pesach

How was Chag? How many times were you asked that question and how many different ways was it answered? Okay, under the circumstances. Fine, except for... you know. Best as could be expected. How do you think my Chag was? Don’t ask. Or words to that effect. Not the upbeat, “Great, B”H, how was yours?”

Harder still, was this question: How could this have happened (referring to the Netanya bombing) on Leil HaShimurim? That’s the night we are told not to say the full “Sh’ma for the bed” because of special Divine protection. That’s the night that people are not supposed to bolt their doors shut, but rather to feel the protective nature of the night that is different from all other nights.

Even before I was asked that question, my mind went in a couple of directions. Avraham Avinu saying to G-d, “G-d forbid, that You should do such a thing...” To Moshe Rabeinu saying to G-d, “Why should Egypt be able to say...” To the Haftara of Vayikra (recently and yet, so long ago) where Yeshayahu tells us about G-d’s promise to free and redeem His people (that’s us!) – even if we don’t deserve it – for His own sake. To the Avinu Malkeinu prayer, where we ask G-d to answer all our requests, for the sake of the Jews who died by Kiddush HaShem, and if not for them, then for G-d’s own sake.

If all PIGU’IM are manifestations of G-d’s harsh judgment, that the ones on Pesach – and especially the one on Leil HaSeder – are also Chilul HaShem. Is that really so? I don’t know. But I feel they are. Am I allowed to feel this way? Am I allowed to express these feelings? I hope so. Because I do feel that way. If I am right, then why did G-d allow the enemies of Israel to take Jewish lives on the same night that He did not allow any Jew to die, nor a dog even to bark?

G-d’s knowledge is infinite. Ours is not. So all of the above is speculation. We know nothing for sure. But strong belief in G-d, plus an honest humility about our human inability to under- stand most of what G-d does, can and should lead a person, a Jew, to the faith and confidence in G-d and the knowledge that He knows what he’s doing. This does not necessarily make us less sad about what’s going on, but it should limit depression and elimi- nate despair. It was okay for Yaakov Avinu to be scared about his encounter with Eisav. According to commentaries, Yaakov berated himself for being “very scared”. Fear is constructive. A positive motivation (sometimes) to action. Excessive fear is usually paralyzing, and maybe even a telltale sign of less than complete EMUNA. 

All speculation. And maybe too simple to fit all situations. But here’s some- thing we can know.The Mishna from Brachot that was borrowed for the Hagada, the one with “days of your life - daytime, ALL the days of your life - including the nights”, has an interest- ing spin suggested by commentaries. Should Pesach be observed only during the “daytime of our lives” meaning “good times”? Or also during the nights of our existence, the dark times of exile and oppression? When Jews found (and will yet find) themselves in Eretz Yisrael, with a Beit HaMikdash, with peace and tranquility, security and prosperity — then Pesach was/will be an obvious, uncomplicated, joyous celebration of our emergence from slavery to freedom. What about the observance of Pesach in the darkest times of exile? In the ghettos and camps of Nazi Europe?

Rabbi Ephraim Oshry was the Rav in the Kovno ghetto during the terrible darkness of the Holocaust. After the war, he wrote down the many questions and responsa that came from that black period of Jewish History. Many of the T’shuvot, with their stories attached to them, were translated into English and published under the title, “Responsa from the Holocaust”. In the Kovno ghetto, there was a baal t’fila who refused to say the bracha, Who has not made me a slave. Was it perhaps a travesty to say it, and a bracha l’vatala? Rav Oshry responded to the contrary. Despite our physical captivity, he said, we were more obligated than ever to recite that blessing, declaring to our enemies that as a people we were spiritually free. Does not this answer apply to us today?

Rabbi Oshry tells of the attempts during the winter of ‘42 to save up and carefully protect as much flour as possible for the upcoming Pesach. He writes about Moshe Goldkorn HY”D, who took it upon himself, at great risk to his life, to smuggle flour into the ghetto when he returned from working outside. He managed, over a period of months, to build up a supply that would provide as many as 100 Jews with a KAZAYIT of matza. Two days before Pesach, he was caught by Nazi guards, with a small bag of flour and was beaten mercilessly. Many of his bones were broken, as were all of his teeth. This brought him to Rabbi Oshry with a question. You might expect him to ask how G-d can allow him to be beaten while attempting to help other Jews perform a mitzva. Not his question. Through tears, he asked how he’d be able to fulfill the mitzva when he wouldn’t be able to eat matza with his ruined mouth. Softening the matza would not be an option, because his family did not eat g’brochts. Rav Oshry organized a Beit Din to annul the implicit vow a family minhag consti- tutes. Rabbi Oshry concludes by telling us that “although his whole body was aching and scarred from the vicious beating... there was no end to his joy and his thanks to G-d for granting him the privilege of eating matza...”

Let us be inspired and encouraged by the likes of Moshe Goldkorn HY”D, and countless others in our long history, who have not allowed our enemies to conquer their spirit. Let us not become ensnared by depression, but retain our spirit and psychological strength until HaShem helps us prevail over our enemies, and guides us swiftly towards the Complete Geula.

As mentioned earlier, G-d’s knowledge is infinite. It follows that He “reads” TT. May He not consider anything written here as disrespectful to Him, nor as a sign of flagging BITACHON in Him, G-d forbid. May He take these words and thoughts as a fervent prayer for His Kindness and Mercy. 

May our fellow Jews as well as the nations of the world comes to a better understanding of who we are and what G-d wants for us.