Perspectives from Machane Yehuda

I was sorely tempted not to write anything about my experience of last Friday at Machane Yehuda, just because so many people have said to me in the past few days, “I know what your Lead Tidbit is going to be about this week!” — or words to that effect. But I have to. Partly, for its therapeutic value in helping me cope with the trauma of being three meters away from a suicide bomber when she blew herself up, and partly for my children who were psychologically traumatized maybe even more than I was. And partly, because I have strong thoughts and feelings to share with my family, my extended family, and my further extended family – the readers of Torah Tidbits.

There might be more than one way to look at things, but I prefer to be unequivocally thankful to HaShem for being alive and with only second degree burns on the back of my right arm and hand, first degree burns on my face and neck, several cuts and bruises from flying glass, a mild amount of singed eyebrow, eyelashes, hair and beard, and a little bleeding in the ear without any hearing loss. I present the details for two opposite reasons – not to minimize what happened to me, nor to exaggerate my injuries when compared to those who sustained much more serious injuries, or to those who died. Whatever pain and discomfort I have is NOTHING compared to what I saw happen to others.

How does one relate to, understand, think about, feel about what happened? I’ve been asked this question by many people during the last few days, including myself. It isn’t easy to answer. Maybe, it’s impossible to answer. We cannot possibly know G-d’s complex “thinking” and multi-faceted “calculations” (CHESH- BONOT) in the way He runs the world. How about this? (Speculation only.) G-d gives all people freedom of choice, including the freedom to Arabs to blow themselves up in an attempt to kill many Jews in the process. Whether they “succeed” or not is part of G-d’s interaction with the world. If a detonator fails to set off the explosives strapped to his body, the would-be bomber is shot dead by an alert Israeli and dozens of people walk out of the supermarket with a second chance at life. Because they merited being spared? Maybe. Because one person among them merited being saved and for his (or her) sake all were spared? Maybe. Because G-d wanted that particular bombing attempt to fail for His reasons that did not specifically include any of the people present? Maybe. Because of something completely different? Maybe. For no reason? Impossible!

After that relatively “theoretical” speculation comes my own experience. One of my daughters asked me something like this: In addition to thanking G-d for being spared, and benching Gomel, etc. - are you also angry at Him for what did happen to you? My immediate answer (and sincerely felt - even after further pondering) was, NO. No, I’m not angry at G-d; I am unqualifiedly thankful. If we would be discussing a human being’s behavior, then gratitude would be mixed with anger. But not with G-d. Obviously, this is my personal feeling and I hope that this facet of my hashkafa is sound. I believe that G-d’s infiniteness and our inability to understand most of what happens, combine to form the simple but genuine attitude that “G-d knows what He’s doing”, even if I don’t. And I have complete confidence in Him that precludes (I hope) any anger. Then she asked me how I understand what happened. This question is a lot different from asking about something that one is not directly involved in.

Starting with the idea expressed above that G-d gives Free Will even to people who want to harm us, then perhaps their “success” or lack thereof depends upon the merit of the potential victim(s). Maybe I had enough “credit in heaven” not to be badly hurt or worse, but not enough to be spared injury completely. Or maybe I had to undergo YISURIM, trials and tribulations, and this was one of them. This latter possibility was more appealing than the former, since the former option might diminish my ZECHUYOT and the second option would reduce my “debts”. What about being “in the wrong place at the wrong time”? I don’t think we go for that idea too much. The requirement to bench Gomel and offer thanks to G-d in other ways seems to suggest that there was a certain amount of HASGACHA PRATIT, that I was under G-d’s scrutiny and “supervision”

Let’s leave this first topic for now. I have at least two more things I’d like to say. In approximately two and a half hours from explosion to release from the hospital, I came into contact with maybe as many as 20 people. This includes police, soldiers, paramedics, ambulance attendants, nurses, emergency room doctors, specialists,x-ray technicians. Every single person was competent - which is good, calm and calming - which is very good, and com- passionate - which is better than very good. I was at Hadassah Ein Kerem with quite a few other injured people and the medical staff had their hands full. Yet I felt completely well taken care of, both physically and mentally (which under the circumstances is no less important). I was overwhelmed with the feeling of ASHRECHA YISRAEL, “fortunate is Israel (the Jewish people), who is like you”. We are truly “merciful (people), children of merciful ones”. At one point in the hospital I remarked to no one in particular, with a sigh, “I guess now I’m a statistic”. One of the nurses replied, “Not to us!” 

I have one more thing to say for now. It is the kind of thing that I’ve gotten flak for in the past, but, right or wrong, I feel my “experience at the shuk” gives me a “free pass” to say certain things. During the last few days I was interviewed by Arutz-7 radio, Arutz Shalosh television, The Jerusalem Post, The Toronto Star, and KIRO radio in Seattle. Each time I said various things, only some of which made it on the air (or in print). What saved that from being a frustration was the fact that I would be able to write (almost) any- thing I wanted to in Torah Tidbits. 

So here goes...

What I am about to say is not a result of my being in a PIGU’A, but perhaps the experience loosened my tongue. 

There must never, ever, ever be a foreign state within the borders of Israel. Not a Palestinian State, nor an Egyptian or Jordanian one. The only state that belongs in Eretz Yisrael is the Jewish State of Israel. 

I also do not believe that a Palestinian state is inevitable, despite the almost casual way statements to the contrary are repeatedly made by some of our political leaders, and those of other countries. Not only is it not inevitable, but we have to believe that it is not. 

Enough (at least) said for the time being. My boundless gratitude to G-d for allowing me to write this article (and much more). My thanks again to the many well-wishers who have called and e-written. And my heightened appreciation for Klal Yisrael.